“Love isn’t about sex,” I chide him. “Love is supposed to be different.”
“You’re right. Love is about making sacrifices, giving up your weekends with your buddies because your woman is sick. Love is about her needs, making sure she’s pleasured, adored and worshipped. Love is about coming home from a hard day at work and falling into a woman’s arms knowing that she’ll share the burden.” He stops and shakes his head.
“I don’t know how long you’ve been in love with Finn, but it sounds to me like he doesn’t deserve you.”
And I feel the exact opposite. I don’t deserve him. I never have, not even when he gave me a part of him to hold on to forever.
The flight is relatively quiet after that. I close my eyes and dream of Morgan running up to me at the airport; only the person behind her is Finn, not Steph. I startle awake as the plane lands and quickly look out the window at the sparse airfield.
“Is this your home?” the lady next to me asks. I nod. “Mine too.”
When the plane pulls up to the gate, we all unbuckle our seatbelts and start gathering our stuff. The man on the outside stands and asks us both what our luggage looks like. He does the nice thing and gets our bags and holds the line back so we can walk out before him. I’d like to think Finn would do the same thing until I remember he probably flies only first class or has a private jet.
As soon as we’re on the jet bridge, the man who had so much to say about Finn pulls me aside. “Look, I’m sorry for what I said. I was out of line.”
“It’s okay. I shouldn’t have aired my laundry like that.”
“No, planes usually become therapy sessions. Anyway, I’d like to make it up to you, if you want.” He hands me a piece of paper with his name and number on it. “Call me. I’m local.”
I look quickly at his name before slipping the piece of paper into my pocket. “Thanks, Joel. I’ll think about it.”
He smiles, nods and starts walking up the Jetway. When I get to the concourse, I’m running as fast as I can with my carry-on dragging behind me. In luggage claim, my daughter is there with a bouquet of flowers in her hand and Steph scanning the crowd. As soon as Steph sees me, she points for Morgan, who takes off running.
“Mommy,” she squeals. I don’t care if she’s ten and acting like she’s five. This is the longest we’ve been away from each other ever and I love every minute of this routine.
I drop to my knees seconds before she crashes into me. She’s a bit small for her age and that allows me to still baby her.
“I’ve missed you so much.”
“Me too, little miss. Me too.”
Morgan and I sit there and hold each other while people walk around us. I don’t care if we’re in someone’s way or not. I need these moments with my daughter.
“Never leave, okay?”
“I promise.” It’s an easy one to make because I’m never going back to stripping. I’d be foolish to waste the money that Finn gave me and not do something with it like get a degree in a trade or something useful.
I hug Steph and thank her for everything. I’ll never be able to repay her for the favors she’s done, even though I’m going to try. When we’re in her car, I ask her to drop Morgan and me off at one of the nicer hotels, telling her that I’m going back to my mom’s only to get our stuff. That’s if my mother hasn’t sold it yet. I was gone for two weeks and she never called. My absence either goes completely unnoticed or she simply doesn’t care. She’ll care when her landlord comes knocking on her door for rent and I’m not there.
Morgan and I make our way into the hotel. It has a waterpark built within and I can’t wait to take her there. Once we’re checked in, I unpack and place most of my money in the built-in safe that’s in the room. I have to trust that no one will come in and take my money while I’m gone. This is another reason we needed to stay in a hotel. If I took this amount of money to my mother’s, it’d be gone the minute I closed my eyes.
As I unpack, I realize how threadbare Morgan’s clothes are. None of her things are new. All of her things have been bought second- and third-hand. We need new clothes, accessories and food. No more cheap take-out and leftovers. Today I’m treating my daughter like a princess. I continue to empty my bag and find a brand-new iPhone with a note: