Kit was extremely offended, mostly because Derk was entirely right. Kit loved holding conferences. He was always thinking of reasons for calling them and ways of making them go on as long as possible. Derk left Kit scowling with his crest feathers right down on his beak and went to where he had left Beauty still saddled.
“Htake Phretty, htoo,” said Beauty. “He ghoes to bhad elfh ahll the htime.”
Derk knew this was true. Talithan had only to beckon, and Pretty vanished. But it was time Beauty got used to this. “Pretty can’t fly that far,” he said as he mounted. “Why is it I can’t do a simple thing like leaving camp without at least two arguments?”
Beauty whisked her tail crossly as she took off. But she was a good-hearted creature, and she made good speed. They were over the ruins of the village well before sunset. Derk went down there to check that skeletal Fran was now back, picking through the debris for the benefit of the tourists. She was. “Have you got everything you need?” he asked her.
“A sight more comfort than I would have up at your house!” she retorted.
Derk flew on up the valley, wondering what Fran meant by that. Had a row with Old George, he supposed, though there was always the possibility that Lydda had come home and turned Fran out. It was certainly high time Lydda returned. She had laid all the clues. Derk sometimes felt that the clues were the one thing the Wizard Guides did not complain to him about.
Before he took Beauty to the stables, Derk stood looking ruefully at the house. So far he had only had time to do one of Callette’s carefully designed transformations. About half the end where the living room was soared into half a black crooked tower. The result was peculiar.
“And I’m not going to have time to follow the plans properly, I’m afraid,” Derk murmured. “Sorry, Callette. They were brilliant.”
Here the pigs found him and rushed jubilantly across the garden, pursued as usual by Old George.
“I thought I asked you to keep them out of sight,” Derk said. On his last visit he had experimented with the pigs as servants of the Dark Lord. But as soon as he put the illusion on, they had stared at their bloated black bodies in such horror that Derk took pity on them and decided just to keep them where the Pilgrims could not see them.
“I do, I do,” said Old George, “but they get wind of you and they’re out before I can turn around. It’s as much as I can do to stop those damn dwarfs putting them in their pot. Can’t do more than that, not if you paid me every basket of treasure they’ve got.”
At this, Derk left Beauty with Old George and hurried to investigate. He had been afraid that the dwarfs would change their minds, once Scales was not there to intimidate them, and go on to the coast instead. But it seemed not. He found them, ponies and all, camping in the kitchen. Lydda would have fits, Derk thought. Perhaps Lydda had indeed come home, seen what six dwarfs could do to a kitchen, and left to live with Mara. He must ask Old George.
“I’m glad to see you got here,” he said to the dwarfs.
“Been here for days now,” said the surly one, whose name was Galadriel. Derk had been wondering, ever since he discovered this, what Galadriel’s parents had been thinking of. “What do you want done with the tribute then?”
“We’d like to see it properly stowed, have you sign for it, and be on our way home, you see,” the talkative one explained. His name, more aptly, was Dworkin. He was some kind of subchief.
Derk looked at the six huge baskets taking up the half of the kitchen that the dwarfs and their ponies were not
using. Kit’s den, he thought. Kit would not be pleased, but according to these dwarfs, there were twenty more bands of them from all over the continent, making their way to the coast with tribute. If Scales only found half of them, Kit’s den was the only place big enough to hold it all. “I’ll show you where,” he said. A thought struck him, possibly because of the mess in the kitchen. These dwarfs might stand in for the pigs. “Would you,” he asked, “consider staying on a month or so and acting as the Dark Lord’s servitors? The tours would pay you, of course.”
“How much?” said Galadriel.
“Well,” said Dworkin, pulling his braided beard, “we would have been traveling for the next month, anyway, in the normal course of things, so I suppose it’s no skin off our nose, so to speak. It depends, really, on the money and on what you want to ask us to do.”
Derk consulted his black book. “This year’s fee is twenty gold each. I’d need to change you a bit—you have to look swart, you know—nothing radical, though, there’s no time. And the job is to pretend to stop the Pilgrims from getting near me. Make a show of violence, hack at their ankles, that sort of thing. Would that be possible?”
The dwarfs looked at one another and grinned a little. “Could be fun,” one suggested. Simpse, Derk thought this one’s name was.
“Make that forty gold each,” said Galadriel, “and it’s a bargain.”
Derk took out the calculator and entered on it: “Servitors 240 gold.” It rather pleased him that Mr. Chesney should pay the dwarfs for once, instead of the other way around. “Done,” he said. He showed them to Kit’s shed and watched wonderingly as each of them heaved up a tremendous basket and trudged off with it as if it weighed nothing at all. But it did not improve the state of the kitchen much. He would have to move those ponies.
For now he spread Callette’s drawings out on the dining room table and studied the work he needed to do on the Citadel.
There was no time for anything but skin-deep changes. Other wizards who were more practiced in this kind of work might have done it, but Derk had worked with animals and plants all his life, and he was slow with buildings. And first things first. The dwarfs needed the kitchen, and the animals needed protection. Derk went and led the dwarfs’ ponies out of the kitchen and shut them in the paddock with Pretty’s grandmother. “They’ll be much safer and happier here,” he told the dwarfs when they caught up with him and protested. Then he went around all his crops, tobacco, cotton, tea, coffee, nylon plants, the new orange trees, and many other things, most still experimental, shutting them inside a strong dome of magic that made them invisible. After that he did the same for the animals. There was no guarantee that the pigs would stay inside this dome, but Derk implored them to try. And the cats. Now the village was a deserted ruin, all the cats had come home in disgust. Derk told them to stay in their pen. They just looked at him.
“And how do I feed them now they’re twice as invisible?” Old George demanded, looming at Derk’s elbow.
“I’ll do it,” said Derk. “You just haunt the garden wailing.”
“What do you mean? I never wailed in my life!” Old George said.
“You get forty gold for it,” said Derk.
“Ah,” said Old George.