I roll my eyes and sip the lukewarm coffee.
"Oh, come now," she says. "You can see it. Mathias running his own little enterprise on the side. Dear Sheriff Dalton, why don't you let me dispose of those bodies for you? I know just the place for them." She hands me a second glass. "The only reason we don't seriously consider it is that we know Eric wouldn't let anyone dispose of those bodies except him. Otherwise? We'll all admit, Dr. Atelier does have an air of the Demon Barber about him."
I take a swig of the lager.
"Which is what you're here to discuss?" she says.
I look up.
"Not whether Mathias is grinding dead people into sausage. He has become a suspect, and other than Eric, no one has known him as long as I have. Arguably, I know him even better."
"Not as well as he'd like, I suspect."
"Oh, I have not missed the doctor's interest, but I have never reciprocated. That seems unwise."
"Why?"
She smiles. "Ah, so here is how you'll do it. Rather than ask what I think of him in general, you'll ascertain why I've never succumbed to his interest in me. Which may answer your question better than the general response. How's the lager?"
"Well, it's a good thing you made Eric's usual, too."
"What's wrong with it?"
"Not a thing. It just doesn't taste like Eric's, which means he won't want it."
She fills my glass, pours one for herself and pulls up another stool.
"There was a time when Mathias would have fascinated me," she says. "He still does, in his way, but the woman who'd have let herself be seduced by Mathias Atelier was a much younger Isabel, one with a regrettable taste for..."
She considers. Sips her beer. Considers some more. "I could say bad boys, but that's not entirely accurate. These days, when one speaks of bad boys, one means a certain subtype. A young man who rides a motorcycle, knocks heads together on Saturday night, and is as faithful as a tomcat. My interests, as a younger woman, leaned toward men like Mathias, who is none of those things and yet more dangerous in his way than a dozen of those young men. I learned my lesson down south, one that taught me I'm much happier with men like Mick. Good men. Undemanding men. Men who are easy to understand and easy to love and easily return that love. But I suppose you were hoping for a more specific answer."
"Will I get one if I ask?"
She adjusts herself on the stool. "I find you interesting, Casey. That's a safe version of the fascinating men I once fell for. In you, I can have a friend whose company I enjoy, with whom I can engage in a lively debate without potentially sacrificing any of myself, as I do if I indulge in that with a lover."
"I'd argue that you can lose some of yourself in a friendship gone wrong, but I understand the gist of what you're saying."
"You're referring to Diana, of course. Yes, that's true, but in regards to us, if I'm going to share anything more personal with you, I need to know it's safe."
"That I won't tell Eric? That depends. If you confess you've caught Mathias doing or saying something that would prove he's my perpetrator, then I have to tell my boss."
"I'd have told you that already. I may trade in secrets, but I know which ones I shouldn't keep. You ask me why I reject Mathias. What I see in him that makes me wary. I'll give you a story for an answer." She takes a deep gulp of her beer and then makes a face. "Poor excuse for an alcoholic beverage."
"Because it has less than five percent alcohol. Which means it isn't really beer at all."
"Agreed. But that's the responsible thing to do." She drains her glass. "I'll pretend that was enough to loosen my tongue. When I was completing my doctorate, I had an affair with one of my professors. Yes, terribly cliche of me. Worse, he fit the cliche to a tee. Middle-aged and married. Told me his wife didn't understand him. And I never felt a moment's guilt. If she couldn't keep him happy, I was welcome to him." She shakes her head. "Do you ever look back on your younger self and just want to slap her?"
I smile. "Sometimes."
"I cringe even remembering myself back then. I was so smug. It didn't help that he'd pursued me. Not unlike Mathias, he made me feel like I was the perfect woman: bright, confident, attractive, interesting. At that age, I bought it. I fell for him so hard that I even started slowing when I passed wedding shops, torn between What am I thinking? and Oooh, that cream-colored one would look amazing. I never told him any of that, but when he'd hint at divorce, I wouldn't argue. Then he got an opportunity to teach overseas. We talked about me going with him, but in the end, he set me free. That's what he called it. Setting me free. He may have even said something about me spreading my wings." She makes gagging noises, and I laugh.
"I ate it up," she says. "I fell even more in love with this man, who was willing to give me up for my own good, my own growth. He would come to visit, and I remained faithful to him. Three years passed. Then through complete happenstance, I came across his name ... attached to a university in Washington State. He'd been living there for over
a year while letting me continue believing he was thousands of miles away. He was still married and had a new girlfriend, too. I went from being the love of his life to his backup mistress. For years I let him lie and manipulate me into honestly believing that everything he did, he did for my sake, my freedom, my happiness."
"Bastard."
"Total bastard. And do you know what he said when I confronted him? Told me he'd only given me what I wanted, and it was my own fault for letting him. Not one moment's remorse. I'd been a trifling amusement. A conquest. Even after he found a new girlfriend, he kept me around because, as he put it, he felt sorry for me, not having anyone else in my life."