"That we fucked up. That Nicole is gone. That Shawn could have been killed. Yeah, we're disappointing you by not arguing, but we don't have time for that. We take responsibility. Now move on, so Casey and I can figure out how to find Nicole."
"I want to help. As permanent militia."
"Does this seem like recruitment time? I've told you that I'll pay you for what you do now, and after this is over, I'll consider your application."
"Bullshit. You'll never hire me. You hate me."
"Hate?" He snorts. "Too much effort. I just don't like you much, which wouldn't stop me from hiring you. You know what would? The fact you've got a longer infraction record than anyone in this town."
She crosses her arms. "I've done my time."
"Still, getting hired might not be in your best interests. Militia are subject to triple penalties for all infractions."
"You just made that up."
"Yep. Now go think about it, and if you still want to apply, see me next week. In the meantime, if you join the search, you'll get militia pay."
She still grumbles as she heads to the door, saying, "I'm going to be right outside, and I'm coming back in to watch Diana when you're gone. You're not ripping me off halfway through a shift."
"Thank you," I say. "We appreciate the dedication."
She snarls a fuck off over her shoulder as she leaves. When she's gone, Dalton and I collapse into chairs beside Diana's bed. A few minutes later, I'm sound asleep.
; FIFTY
We're on the trail at first light, as Dalton promised. Out all day on horseback, in hopes that the quieter ride will help us hear anything untoward. We don't.
We return to the cave. As much of a long shot as that might seem, that's exactly why we have to go back. It's like when I played hide-and-seek as a girl--my favorite trick was to return to a spot I'd used earlier because no one ever checked those. We're dealing with a smart man, in full control of his choices and actions. He might do the same. He didn't. We comb through that cave system and find no sign that he's even visited it again.
Late afternoon, we return to join the general search. The hunt is both organized and controlled--the last thing we want is for Nicole's captor to grab a second victim.
There's no shortage of volunteers. Too many actually, more than we can afford to have in the forest and keep the town running. I used to hear about searches like this down south. Someone would go missing on a hiking trail, and I would always wonder at that. How could you leave groomed trail--often to go to the bathroom, as Val had--and get lost? The search would be organized, with hundreds of volunteers and tracking dogs and search helicopters--every tool available to modern search-and-rescue. Yet they'd find nothing. How was that possible?
I've already discovered how easy it is to get lost only a few steps from a path. Now I see a massive search effort, how flawless it seems, how futile it feels. Nicole could be bound and gagged under a fallen branch, and we would pass right by her.
Which does not stop us from searching. All day. Into the night. Up the next morning. Out again. Endlessly searching.
I overdo it. I can't help that. I found her. I brought her back. And I let her be taken again.
I finally understand exactly how Dalton felt when Abbygail disappeared--that devastating level of guilt. For him, it was a girl with an unrequited crush, threatening to go into the forest to get his attention ... and then disappearing. For me, it is the woman I brought home from an unimaginable ordeal ... only to let her captor take her again, right from under our noses.
We talk about that, as we're out there, searching. Shared guilt. Shared reassurances that we'd done our best. Shared fears that we hadn't, that we couldn't, that when it comes to keeping another person safe, there is never going to be a point where you feel you did all you could.
Here, part of doing all we can means taking the plane up as soon as the wind dies down. It also means recruiting every human resource. That morning, Dalton tacks a piece of yellow cloth to a tree. It's a sign for Jacob to meet him when the sun is high.
From there, we go to Brent, and Dalton asks him to use his bounty-hunting skills to help us. He doesn't offer payment. That is implied, and even then, it'll have to be worked into a trade so Brent won't feel insulted.
We head to the marked tree just before noon. Jacob is already there and waiting. I tell him about Nicole.
"But how? Did she go into the woods again? I know she wanted to walk the dog but--"
He stops short of saying anything that could sound like an accusation.
"She was taken from her bedroom," I say.
"And, yeah," Dalton says. "She had a nurse, a guard, heightened patrols--"