‘It’s not a question of want or whim. It’s what is best for you—’
‘Best for you, you mean!’ Halina cried, pain lancing every word.
‘I can’t give you what you need.’
‘You mean you can’t love me.’ Even now it hurt to say it. Rico hesitated, his jaw tight, and then he nodded. ‘And what if I was willing to live with that?’ Halina asked painfully.
‘Do you remember what you said to me? That if my loyalty or affection wasn’t grounded in love it would eventually fade?’
‘Yes, but—’
‘Are you no different? Eventually you would come to resent me for not loving you. Hate me, even. And I would hate that. So would you. We’d end up living separate lives, festering in bitterness and resentment.’
She stared at him, hating the bleak, bleak picture he painted with his grim words. ‘It wouldn’t have to be like that.’
‘Maybe not, but the risk is too great. I can’t make you happy, Halina. I can’t give you what you want.’
‘And that is a reason to walk away?’ she demanded, her voice shaking. ‘You’re a coward, Rico Falcone—’
‘Do you think this is easy for me?’ he cut across her, his voice a ragged roar. ‘Do you think I am doing this lightly? I am talking of abandoning my child, as my father once abandoned me. Do you think I would ever want to do that?’
‘Then don’t—’
‘I am trying to do the right thing, hard as it is for both of us. You have to think of the future, Halina. Your future. Perhaps one day you’ll find a man you love, a man who can make you happy...’
‘Perhaps,’ Halina answered in a choked voice, ‘happiness is overrated.’
Rico stared at her. ‘Do you really mean that?’
Halina simply stared back, confused and miserable. She didn’t know anything any more. She didn’t understand why Rico was doing this, even as she feared she did. Because their relationship had been doomed from the start—forced into a marriage neither of them wanted for a child they never should have conceived. But even now she couldn’t regret her baby, their baby, and she pressed a trembling hand against the soft swell of her bump.
‘What of your child? What shall I tell him or her about you?’ She shook her head slowly. ‘You’re really going to give up all your rights?’
‘It’s better this way,’ Rico said. His face was as blank as his voice; it was as if he had already left her, emotionally if not physically. Halina knew she would never reach him.
‘So that’s it?’ she said hollowly. ‘After everything that’s happened...the way you pursued me, how determined you were to marry me...that’s it?’
A full minute ticked by as Rico stared at her, his jaw clenched, his eyes pitilessly blank. ‘That’s it,’ he said flatly.
Everything happened in a fast, unhappy blur after that. Halina packed, leaving behind the couture gowns and outfits that she and Rico had shopped for together. She couldn’t bear to bring away clothes that held so many memories, beautiful as they were. Her father arrived, nodding graciously to Rico before he turned to Halina.
‘Are you ready, habibi? The plane is waiting. So is your family. I called your mother and she is eager to see you.’
Everything in Halina cried out to resist. She stood in the living room, trying to work up the courage to turn to Rico and tell him she loved him. She’d never said the words. She’d never confessed how she felt about him, only that she wanted him to love her. Would it make a difference? Didn’t she have a duty to try?
She opened her mouth, her heart beating hard, but before she could say a word Rico spoke first.
‘Goodbye,’ he said, and walked out of the room.
Halina stood there for a moment, stunned and blinking, then she followed her father out of the apartment.
She didn’t talk much on the ride to the airport; grief swamped her, a fog surrounding her that made it difficult to think, much less speak.
Sultan Hassan was all gracious solicitude, asking how she felt, if there was anything she needed. Once they were on the royal jet Halina went to lie down; she couldn’t face anyone, not even the servants. She slept the entire journey, only waking up when it was time to land.
She stared out of the window of the jet at the bleak, undulating desert of Abkar and her heart cried out for Rome. For Rico.
‘Everyone is waiting for you,’ Hassan said as he guided her from the jet to the waiting SUV. Halina slid inside, resting her head against the seat. She felt too listless to ask what was going to happen now, what her father intended.