“What are you doing?” she asks as if I lost my mind. Who knows, I probably have.
I hold the bottle out into the rain and watch as the steady flow slowly fills it. When there is enough, enough that Beth can clearly see, I close the bottle and hand it to her.
She raises a skeptical eyebrow, but accepts the bottle.
“It’s our rain, Beth. ”
Her head barely shakes to show her confusion while I rub the back of my neck and search for my courage. “I told you I loved you in this rain and when you doubt my words, I want you to look at this bottle. ”
Beth’s forehead wrinkles and she stares at the gift I’ve given her. “I don’t…” she starts. “I don’t have anything to give you. ”
“You’re here,” I answer. “It’s all I want. ”
Her fingers tighten around the bottle. “I still can’t say it. ”
“I don’t care. ”
Beth crawls onto my bed and I join
her by lying like we did the first night she came to my room. If she needs space, I’ll give her space.
This time, Beth immediately places her head on me. The bare skin of my chest screams in protest of her cold, wet hair. I focus on not flinching or shivering. I won’t give her a reason to turn away.
Her arm relaxes over my stomach and, in her hand, she clutches the bottle of rain.
“I’m scared,” she says.
Are her running days over? Am I handing my heart to a girl who’s going to break it? I choose not to think about it and instead wrap my arms tighter around Beth and bring her closer to me. “So am I. But we’ll be okay. I promise. ”
“You could really hurt me if you wanted. ”
“But I won’t. ”
“Say it again,” she whispers, and there’s heartfelt sincerity in her voice that tells me everything I want to hear. My heart explodes and a surging, powerful warmth rushes through my bloodstream. She loves me. I know she does.
“I love you. ” I kiss the top of her head, never feeling so complete in my life.
“Can I stay?” she asks.
“Yes. ”
She willingly molds her body to mine. We snuggle closer together and I shut my eyes, welcoming sleep. Beth’s here and she’s mine and I silently promise to never let go.
Beth
SITTING ON THE BED of Logan’s truck, Ryan keeps me tucked close between his legs and his hands rest on the sides of my hips. Ryan’s sweatshirt wraps around me like a minidress and the heat from his body protects me from the chilly autumn Friday evening. He’s enveloped me in a small, warm bubble. Wood in the bonfire crackles and snaps and creates a rich scent that relaxes me. I cuddle against him, and the deep rhythmic vibrations of his voice lull me into a sense of ease. Ryan has created the sensation of comforter-out-of-the-dryer warmth.
He runs his hand through my hair and whispers, “You’re falling asleep. Do you want me to take you home?”
“I’m awake. ” I pretend that he will hold me forever. Today, I called Mom before gym. Like always, good news comes with bad. She got the car out of the impoundment lot, but she also bailed Trent out of jail and she was somehow shocked that jail hadn’t changed his thunderstorm disposition. She asked me to come get her a week from Monday—after her social security check comes in. I have ten days left with Ryan.
Ryan kisses the top of my head and returns to the same discussion he and his friends have had every day at lunch—baseball playoffs.
Lacy sits next to me in the same exact position with Chris. She drinks from a longneck. “I’m happy you and Ryan are together. It’s nice to be around someone else who never says the word baseball. ” Lacy takes another drink and shakes her head. “I take that back—not someone else. I’m glad it’s you. I’m glad you’re back. ”
She’s buzzing. I’m not. It’s strange to be at a party and not be blitzed. The past two weeks have been strange. Now that Ryan has done whatever popular people do to announce their commitments, his friends treat me like one of their own and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
I mean—they’re jocks. All the guys standing around or sitting on this truck are big, huge, can’t-stop-talking-about-baseball jocks. None of them has made me feel inconsequential or like a freak. They’re nothing like Luke and his friends, who drank every chance they got. Not one of these guys has touched alcohol tonight.