“It doesn’t matter what I want.” I shook my head softly.
“Let me tell you what I want then, since no one has ever fucking asked me that question.” He grabbed both my arms. “I want you. You, Joslyn. You’re the only one I want in my life. Fuck what the media says. Fuck what Esmée says. Fuck what my mother or brother or sister-in-law say. I want you.” He pressed his lips against me, closing the statement between us as if it needed to be caught there, where no one else would take it away. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss.
“I want you as well,” I said against his lips. “I want you so much, it hurts.”
“The feeling is mutual.” He searched my eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t want to live without you. I want you to be my girlfriend, my fiancée, my wife, whatever it takes to keep you.”
“Really?”
“Really.” He smiled slightly. “If you’ll have me.”
“Of course I’ll have you.” I smiled back.
“Will you come back to the main house with me? Have lunch with my son and his mother?”
“I don’t like her.” I groaned, throwing my head back. “I know it’s childish, but I don’t.”
“You don’t have to like her. I mean, I wish you would, of course, but as long as you both have a mutual respect and know that neither of you is going anywhere, I don’t care if you like her.”
“She’ll want to become your mistress.”
“What?” Aramis let out a surprised laugh.
“If she can’t have you as a boyfriend or a husband, she’ll want you in another capacity.”
“Joslyn.” He held my chin high to keep my attention. “If I wanted to have a mistress, I’d stay single and keep playing the field. I’ve already done that. I’m tired of it. Bored of it. Let me try to keep one woman happy.”
“As long as I’m that woman.”
“Forever and always.” He kissed me again, softly. “Can we get out of the cold now?”
“Yes.” I laughed and followed him to the car.
Chapter Thirty
I groaned at the sight of the headline on the front page of the paper: “Prince torn between two loves.”
“This is all Esmée’s fault,” I said for the third time.
“She realizes that,” Aramis said, finishing his bowtie. “She’ll be here tonight.”
“You invited her to the gala?”
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because . . . I don’t know I could think of a million reasons, which one do you want first?”
He chuckled, kissing the top of my head. “You look stunning, by the way.”
“I didn’t think you noticed.” I glanced at him over my shoulder, showing off my exposed back.
“Notice? I’m trying not to look at you too much. Too many filthy thoughts are running rampant in my brain right now. I’m trying to figure out what room will be vacant so I can fuck you in it in the middle of the gala.”
My stomach flipped. I bit my lip. “I think the library will be empty.”
“I think I’ve already pictured you naked in every single corner of the library.” His gaze darkened.
“You do realize that was where you took my virginity?” I raised an eyebrow.
“How could I forget?” He walked toward me, cupping the side of my face. “I want you to marry me, Joslyn.”
“What?” I gasped. “You’re not serious.”
“I am so serious. I’ve been thinking about this a lot.”
Despite the way my stomach somersaulted, I simply kissed him and met his eyes. “You’ll have to ask me again, on one knee.”
“On one knee?” He laughed. “That’s a requirement?”
“I believe so.”
He kissed me again. “Noted.”
We finished getting dressed in silence. He hadn’t even said he loved me. Not yet. Not that I’d said it to him either. It was just assumed and obviously if he wanted to marry me I could definitely assume that he did love me but I wanted to hear it. For some reason the thought of him saying those three words was a big deal. Maybe because I knew he’d never said them. Maybe because I knew I was the one who had actually managed to capture his heart and undying attention. The fact that he wanted to marry me should have been enough, but I wanted to hear the words.
“I see you’re not caught between two loves,” an older man said to Aramis as we stepped off the dance floor.
“I’m very much only caught in one.” Aramis smiled, squeezing my hand. “You know the papers will say whatever it takes to sell more.”
“Absolutely.” He smiled at me. “I’m thrilled to see him settled down and happy for once. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.” I felt myself frown as I said the words and watched him walk away. “It’s kind of strange for someone to congratulate me when you’re the one who lucked out.”
Aramis laughed loudly, throwing his head back. “I can’t say I disagree.”