“Sending for him. Why?”
“Just curious.” Aramis smiled, that tilt of one side of his lip he did, and shrugged a shoulder and I knew there was more to his statement.
“What?”
“It’s just, when people are in love they try to spend every moment they can with their partner. They don’t send drivers to pick them up at airports.”
“What do you know about love?” I raised an eyebrow, then corrected, “Romantic love anyway.”
“I know a little.” He stepped forward and for the first time in a long time, I fought the urge to step back, my heart fluttering into my throat. “How much do you know? Are you in love with him?”
“Maybe.”
“That sounds like a no.” He raised an eyebrow.
“Like a no.” I laughed, shaking my head. “Really, Aramis?”
“Really.”
“I don’t know why you would assume anything. You’ve never seen us together.”
“You’re right.” He stepped closer still.
I wished he wasn’t looking at me so intently, those dark green eyes casing mine like I was the one he was hunting today. I felt trapped even though I could back away, I could walk away. My heart was in my throat though, and I couldn’t move, not when he was looking at me like that. Not when he was stepping into me like that. Not when we were near the same spot he’d done this to me so many years ago, the night he’d offered me his hand. The night I’d caved and taken it, letting him lead me away from here. The night I’d given him my virginity, because I couldn’t think of anyone more perfect to lose it to, despite knowing he’d never be mine.
“I’ve been thinking about that night a lot lately,” he said, and then I did step back slightly, eyes wide, heart pounding.
“What about it?”
“I wish I’d been a different man then. I wish I’d paid more attention to what was in front of me.”
“You had years to remedy that and didn’t.” I chuckled lightly. I’d had years to come to terms with the fact that he didn’t see me like that and that was fine. I knew it wasn’t a me thing, it was an Aramis thing.
“What if I want to remedy it now?”
“What are you saying?”
“Why don’t you put yourself on the list and erase everyone else?”
“What makes you think I would want that?”
“You want me. I know you want me.”
“You think everyone who breathes the same air as you wants you.” I shook my head, glancing away.
“Are you telling me you don’t?” He brought a hand toward me and grabbed mine.
My heart ricocheted in my chest. It was déjà vu. It was a mirror. Why did I feel like I had then, grasping at straws, gasping for air? I was a woman now. Experienced. I yanked my hand from his grasp.
“Please stop. I have a boyfriend. He’s coming to visit. You have a son that you’re dedicating all of your time to, as you should be, and well, there’s the contract. We can’t do this. Not now.” I swallowed.
Not ever would have been more apt, but I knew how to speak to Aramis to get him to back off, and concrete, definitive things existed only for him to tear down. He stepped away with a nod, and walked away without another word. I could tell he was brewing, but wasn’t he always? On my walk to meet Adeline in the library to decorate some more, I couldn’t shake the conversation. I couldn’t shake the feeling that overcame me because of it, things I hadn’t felt in years, not since my college boyfriend whom everyone including myself thought I would marry. Until we found out he was a lying cheater, that was. I pushed my thoughts aside as I opened the door and walked inside, smiling at the sight of a very pregnant Adeline standing in the middle of the room with a confused look on her face.
“What? Did you decide another Christmas tree was too much?” I asked.
“Very funny.” She glanced over at me, placing her hand on her belly. “The baby hasn’t stopped moving all day. I’m beginning to think he either really hates this holiday or wants to come sooner to celebrate it with us.”
I laughed, walking over and placing my hands on her belly, feeling him kick. “And what do you want?”
“I would love to have him in my arms already, but I don’t think I want him sleeping in the nursery in here.” She met my eyes. “I’m afraid it’s haunted.”
“I don’t doubt that it is.” I let go of her stomach and looked at everything she had laid out on the table. “I’m afraid to ask who helped you do all of this.”
“It wasn’t heavy.”
“You say that about everything, Addie. You need to be careful.” I shot her a look.
“I know. I just hate feeling like I can’t do anything.”