“Would it kill her to turn up the heat?” Total grumbled sleepily. “This place is an icebox. You could practically hang meat in here.”
Angel and I grinned at each other.
“You all right?” I asked.
She nodded. “I hated seeing the Erasers today.”
“You and me both. Ari really creeps me out. Do you pick up anything from him?”
Angel thought. “Dark. Red. Angry. Torn. Confused. He hates us.”
I frowned at this grim picture of what was happening inside Ari’s head.
“And he loves you,” Angel added. “He loves you a lot.”
57
I backed out of Angel’s room, trying not to look shocked. Jeez. Ari loved me? Like a little kid? Like a big Eraser? Was that why he kept trying to kill me? He needed to read an article about how to send clearer signals.
A sound behind me made me turn around fast, to see that I’d almost run into Fang coming down the hall.
“They down?”
I nodded. “They’re beat. School really takes it out of them. And then, of course, Erasers.”
“Yeah.”
We saw Anne come out of Nudge’s room. She smiled and mouthed “Good night” at us, then headed downstairs. I thought about her being the last person Nudge would see before she went to sleep, and my jaw tightened.
“Let them enjoy it while they can,” said Fang, reading my expression in that irritating way he had.
“She’s taking my place,” I said without meaning to.
Fang shrugged. “You’re a fighter, not a mom.”
I almost gasped, stung. “I can’t be both? You think I’m a lousy mom? What, because I’m not girly enough, is that it?” I was really mad, the tensions of the day boiling over in me. “Not like that girl with the red hair, stuck to you like glue!” My hands came up and, without thinking, I shoved Fang hard.
Since this was Fang, he didn’t just take it like a gentleman. He immediately shoved me back, almost making me hit the wall. I was mortified—not only because I was attacking my best friend, but because I’d sounded like a jealous idiot. Which I wasn’t. At all.
I stood there, breathing fast, feeling my cheeks flame with humiliation and anger. My hands clenched and unclenched, and I wanted to disappear.
I felt his dark eyes looking at me and waited for him to tease me about being upset over the Red-Haired Wonder.
He stepped closer to me, till his face was only inches away from mine. We’d been the same height for most of our lives, but in the past two years he’d shot past me. Now my eyes were level with his shoulder.
“You’re girly enough,” he said quietly. “As I recall.”
New embarrassment washed over me—he was referring to when I’d kissed him at the beach, weeks ago. He just had girls throwing themselves at him left and right, didn’t he?
I gritted my teeth and didn’t say anything.
“And you’ve been a great mom. But you’re only fourteen and you shouldn’t have to be a mom. Give yourself ten years or so.”
He went past me, brushing my shoulder as I stood there stiffly. He meant a real mom, with my own kids. I definitely considered the flock my own kids, but Fang meant kids I made myself. Like the Voice had said earlier.
Right then, I just hated my life, in a whole new, refreshing way.
“By the way,” Fang called from down the hallway. “I’ve started a blog. I’m using the computers at school. Against all the rules, of course. Fang’s Blog.” He chuckled, as only Fang can chuckle. “Check it out sometime . . . Mom.”