Actually he had been. Shocked and furious. Had Killian been there with him when Jordan learned what he had done, then blood might have been spilled.
“You never called any of us either, Tehya,” he reminded her, his voice tight. “You knew you were being followed, you knew someone had found you.”
She shook her head, her lips tightening for a second as the long ponytail her hair had been gathered into brushed against her back. “I honestly thought it was paranoia,” she admitted bitterly. “I’d never been in one place longer than a few months until I joined your group.…” She gave her head a brief shake. “Base was so secure, my suite there completely protected. I worked where I lived. There was no possibility of any danger.” Her breath hitched for a moment. “I thought it was a product of being away from that security and being on my own.”
She had ignored her instincts and that could have been fatal.
Jordan exhaled roughly at the thought of the danger she could be facing.
“John and Travis are heading in with their wives,” he told her. “We need to find out who’s behind the search for you and why. The team that’s heading here are no more than flunkies. Ira Arthurs and Mark Tenneyson aren’t leaders. Someone has to be backing them.”
“I don’t need your help with this.” Her expression became closed. “I’ll deal with it. I told you Jordan. I’ve been-here-done-this. I don’t need your help.”
“And you think I’m going to let you?” He was almost amused to think that she would believe that. Amused and fucking offended. “Stop wasting your damned breath.”
Her arms crossed beneath her breasts. “What do you care? You were more than eager to walk away nine months ago. Do you really think I need you around now? Trust me, I don’t.”
No one was able to make him mad faster than Tehya could. Son of a bitch, she was staring right back at him, actually believing the crap spilling out of her lips. As though she actually believed he was going to fucking walk away.
With that knowledge, with that anger, his arousal only surged higher. She tempted him and defied him for the hell of it. It didn’t bother her a damned bit to stand there and pretend that her death wouldn’t affect him. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would destroy him.
“I think you’re living under the mistaken impression that you have a choice whether or not I stay here and protect that pretty little ass of yours,” he warned her as he rose from the barstool, his jaw clenching at the defiance in those incredible green eyes of hers.
“I didn’t need you to protect my ass before I met you, and I don’t need it now,” she informed him, a flush beginning to bloom across her lightly tanned cheeks.
Her nipples were harder, he swore they were. Hell, they were standing there having a serious discussion while their bodies were straining for sex.
It would have been amusing if the situation weren’t so damned life-threatening.
“Why the hell do you think Kira pulled you into the Ops, Tey?” he asked her with curiosity, fury beginning to boil inside him. “Do you think it was because she simply liked your pretty face or your charming personality?”
She glared back at him irritably. “I appreciated the help,” she ground out. “I appreciated the period of peace. Kira knows that.”
But he recognized that flash of fear in her eyes. Tehya knew damned well and good that she had been on the verge of losing the battle she was fighting against whoever had targeted her after Sorrel’s death. Just as she had been losing the battle against Sorrel before she killed him and his son.
It wasn’t fear for him, or the team she had been a part of, that had her protesting their involvement though.
“You’re more scared of this fire between us burning us alive than you are of dying,” he said as he placed his hands on the bar and faced her confidently. He knew exactly why she’d rather face her past then have him face it with her.
His dick was throbbing beneath his jeans with an intensity that threatened his self-control more than anything ever had before. The need to taste her, to feel her pussy, so damned hot and tight, wrapped around his cock, was making him crazy.
He’d lain beside her in that bed last night, pretending to be asleep as he listened to her toss and turn for hours. Sleep had been long and slow in coming, and even then, the thought of fucking her had filled his dreams.
He couldn’t be with Tehya without wanting her, without the hunger clawing at his guts. And he knew it was worse for her. The illusion of love trapped the senses, the emotions, and infused woman’s sexuality like nothing else could.
“I’m not the one scared of it,” she all but sneered back at him. “And I’m not the one that regretted the one night we did spend together if you recall. That was you, Jordan.”
Yeah, he had regretted the hell out of it because he’d known that forgetting her would be next to impossible. It had been worse than he had imagined it could be. Sleep was impossible most nights; something as insignificant as a breeze reminded him of her touch. The heat of a summer sun, the warmth of a Texas rainfall. No matter where he turned, memories of Tehya haunted him.
“Did it hurt you, Tehya?” he asked carefully. “When morning came and you knew it couldn’t go anywhere, that it was just that one night, did it hurt?”
Her lips tightened. “Not in the least, Jordan. You should have told me just how easy it would be to walk away. I would have left sooner.”
The little liar. He almost grinned thinking of the lie that slipped so easily past her lips but didn’t quite make it to her eyes.
“I spent six years trying to convince you what a bastard I am.” He straightened as he stared back at her. “Hurting you was the last thing I ever wanted do, because you mattered Tehya. Because you hadn’t yet figured out that love is the greatest illusion of them all, and I didn’t want to be the one to teach you that lesson.”
He knew the man he was, and he knew the woman she was. Breaking her heart had broken a part of him that he still didn’t recognize.