“O-okay,” she’d said.
Paige, you don’t have to do this . . .
Zach’s words this morning danced in her head. She’d answered, I want to.
And she did! But goodness, she was nervous.
“Ready, Paige?”
Next door, she told herself. He was next door.
“Ready,” she breathed.
ZACH SAT SO STILL before the TV screen he could be just another of the sculptures in the room.
On a chair next to his, O’Neill lowered his soda can, clearing his throat. “Rivers, perhaps it’s better if you—”
Zach lifted one hand that effectively silenced him. “No, no, no. I need to hear this.”
He needed to hear what she’d been through. He needed to hear her remember him and know that he had not made her up, that his entire life was not centered on something that could never be. He needed to know what had happened— how, when, and why the fuck he hadn’t been able to protect her.
He ran a palm down his hot face, then clasped his hands together in front of him and leaned on his elbows. Had she seen the bastard? What had he said to her? Done to her? Fuck.
“All right, Paige, so relax.”
“Is Zach . . . is Detective Rivers listening?”
Oh, baby. Oh, sweetheart, I’m here.
“Yes. And Lieutenant O’Neill.”
Zach schooled his expression into one of detachment, aware of O’Neill scrutinizing his profile. Damned if he’d let the ruthless bastard see what Paige did to him. Damned if he’d let himself tear apart in front of him.
“Let’s start again, shall we?”
START AGAIN, YES. Paige nodded, appeased, and shifted on the old chair, trying not to notice that it felt as if the soft seat were swallowing her. Her eyes kept sailing across the room, distracted by all the adornments on the wall.
“Eyes closed, Paige.”
Swallowing, Paige stretched her legs out until her toes rested at the very edge of the chaise, and attempted to concentrate.
Sue Ellen told her— no, she ordered, really— to get comfortable. So she “did.”
They started with her breath. Paige inhaled. Paige exhaled. Releasing tension and anxiety. Allowing your body and your mind to relax. Her mind whirled and whirled.
All around making love with Zach.
The memory of his taut, strained face as he came made her weak inside. Zach probably hadn’t realized as he drove here— deeply immersed in his own thoughts— that as Paige sat unspeaking beside him, she’d been kissing his lips and his hot, hard mouth had been pillaging hers, and that huge, thrusting part of his had been pushing and pushing into the depths of her.
Zachary Rivers, I am addicted to you!
In a solid, monotone voice, Sue Ellen began to count down. She started at ten . . . Feeling your muscles relaxing . . . welcoming a deep sleep . . .
I want you to visualize looking across a deep blue ocean. Above the water the fishes form a number ten . . . then skim apart to form a nine . . .
Release your fears, Paige . . . You are free . . .
Release your thoughts . . .