It would drown out any listening device, she knew. A murmur of voices might be heard, but not the actual words they were saying.
“What do you need to know?” He crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her, his gaze flickering over her body.
Mimicking his stance, she leaned back against the shower, crossed one ankle over the other, then crossed her arms beneath her breasts, deliberately plumping them out for him.
“Are you enemy or ally?” she asked.
His lips thinned. “Don’t ask me that question, Lilly,” he warned her softly.
Lilly shook her head as the tears finally flooded her eyes. “Who can I trust, Travis? Tell me who I can trust and I’ll go ask them my questions.”
She needed someone, oh God, someone she could trust to give her the answers she needed. She felt as though she were breaking apart inside. As though she had lost something so essential that a part of her was missing now and she didn’t know what to do without it.
He wiped his hand over his face as he breathed out roughly. “Lilly, you have to be patient.”
“
Patience is going to get me killed,” she hissed furiously, shuddering at the knowledge that she had no idea how to watch her own back, or who to watch out for. “For God’s sake, Travis, someone has tried to kill me twice now, and that’s not counting six years ago when I disappeared. Someone tried to kill me then, and we both know it.”
His jaw tightened in fury. The knowledge was there in his eyes. She could see it.
“You know what happened the night Father died,” she whispered.
“I told you I knew you. You have that in the report your uncle paid for. We fought together plenty of times, Lilly. You’ve covered my back—”
“I’ve saved your ass.” The tears were clogging her voice now, fighting to be free. “I know I have.”
“And I’ve saved yours,” he agreed. “You already know this.”
“Why?” She just wanted the truth. That was all she wanted, and she knew she hadn’t gotten it yet. All she was hearing were half-truths and lies and she was tired of it. “Why did we save each other’s lives?” Her breathing hitched with the tears. “Tell me, Travis. Please, God, just tell me who I was.”
“You were Lilly. You still are Lilly.” But she was more, and she knew it.
“Are you my enemy or my ally?” she asked him again, feeling the pain, feeling a sense of betrayal tearing through her. “Tell me, Travis, which are you?”
“How much do you remember?”
“Pieces,” she whispered. “The safe house, the storage shed where I had my cycle parked, my weapons stored. I remember what I think are pieces of what had to be missions that don’t make sense yet. The memories are closer, Travis, I can feel them.”
“Why can’t you wait for them to return, Lilly?” he sighed heavily. “It would be so much easier for both of us.”
Her hand lifted, covered her lips. She had no idea how much longer she could hold back the tears, as the pain resounded through her.
“My brother turned his back on me,” she whispered, feeling her lips tremble. “He said I was nothing to him. I was no sister of his.” She shook her head, fighting against that memory. “My mother hasn’t hugged me. My aunts haven’t visited me. The people I knew as friends stare at me as though I’m some apparition that disgusts them.” She rubbed at her arms, breathed in roughly. “I changed my face, Travis. I changed even my eye color. Tell me why.”
She wasn’t going to cry, she told herself. She wasn’t going to allow the tears to fall, because if they did, then she might never stop.
“You’re my lover.” She shook her head slowly, desperation clawing inside her. “Can I even trust you?”
“You can trust me, Lilly.” There was a promise in his voice, there was sincerity and emotions she couldn’t define. But a part of her recognized an underlying warning as well. “You can trust me with your life.”
“Then tell me what I was. Tell me who I was,” she demanded roughly. “Stop stringing me along.”
“How did you know where your safe house was located?” he asked softly.
She licked her lips nervously as she shook her head. “I knew the memory was just there, as though it had never been lost.” Her shoulders lifted as she felt the confusion herself. “I don’t know how I knew, Travis. I just knew where it was.”
“You knew your weapons were missing earlier,” he pointed out. “How did you know?”