I cry until I hear my dad leave the house and his car starts up and pulls out of the driveway.
Within a few moments, I can feel my tears drying up like all my problems have moved away from me suddenly.
He’s under a lot of pressure, I know. But I don’t know if I can understand fully why he’s treating me like this. I’m an adult now.
The thought of the gown, the smell of its newness fills my nose once it unblocks from crying. I lay it out on the bed and read James’ card again.
And again, and again.
I want you in this.
And what’s owed, my kiss.
See you at the ball.
James.
Dad forbids it for some reason, something he’s never done in my whole life. I’ve been by his side for every electoral dinner, dance, and meeting for every one of his years as Mayor.
But James commands it, he wants me there. He wants me and has given me the perfect outfit to go in.
I grimace again, groaning when I tell myself it won’t fit. It can’t fit.
Most of the clothes I own barely fit me properly anymore and until I saw James I didn’t mind so much.
Today of all days, I wish I could be thirty pounds lighter. Just for one day even.
Long enough to-
Why don’t you try it on and see?
I can hear his deep voice in my mind, feel the warmth of his hands on me again as I recall just how close he was.
Close enough to take my measurements?
God, I freaking hope not.
I got his measurement though and pressing the same hand to my chest, I recall just how thick and hard he felt as he stood behind me yesterday.
In seconds I’ve stripped and am in the shower, wanting to be my cleanest before even daring to touch my new outfit again let alone try it on.
Thinking of James, knowing he wants me in that dress is enough to get rid of the horrible feelings courtesy of my dad.
He can forbid all he likes, but I’m going to James and I’m going to give myself to him, I know it.
What happens after that, who knows?
I should wash my hair too, but as I feel the warm water refreshing me all over, and knowing I have a ball to go to, I start to consider another option.
Drying off and pulling a fresh robe on, I check my bank balance on my phone.
Not great.
Not broke, but not great.
It’ll probably break the bank, but I’ve always wanted to have my hair, nails, and face done.
By someone who knows what they’re doing, I mean.
If I’m to look my best for James, I have to put myself in the hands of a professional.
An easy choice considering Woods End only has one beauty salon.
Before I risk making the appointment, there’s one thing I have to do first.
I have to know.
To be sure.
My hands are shaking as I pick up the gown again, hoping and praying I can even fit into it. If I need to get it adjusted, I’ll have to hurry and make sure I can even afford to.
But just like having James’ hands on me, slipping into the dress, I realize he’s had it made just for me, it feels just right.
Perfect.
It’s an open back, black gown that has an opening in the front just big enough to show the cleavage I’m proud of while giving my chest enough lift at the same time.
It hugs all my curves, which feels weird but only enough to again, highlight the parts of my body I’m happy with.
I look at myself from the side and from behind and finally, I’m left staring in amazement.
It feels like it cost a fortune and I already want to show James. I wish I could just call him up and tell him to come over, or swing by his office again.
But I daren’t, not knowing exactly where or what my dad’s doing right now.
I hope he’s calmed down enough to not make a scene tonight.
Groaning out loud, I remember everything about today, and tonight I’m supposed to be helping my dad with.
He’s never had to do everything on his own but he’s never blown his stack at me like he did this morning either.
Noticing the lines in my face I sit gingerly on the edge of my bed, almost wringing my hands as I try and figure out what to do.
If I just breeze into the town hall and do what I’d normally do, I run the risk of making my dad even angrier.
But if I just sit here all day, nothing will get done and I definitely won’t get to see James either.
Either way, I know how I feel about my dad right now, and it’s not a great feeling. He hurt me by yelling at me, forbidding me to do what I know is the only thing that’s felt right my whole life so far.