“But you think I should stay,” I press, trying to force Raz to decide for me.
“Yes,” Raz says. “But we also believed we were acting in the universe’s best interests when we encouraged evolution. We are not always right.”
I nod glumly. We’ve passed from beneath the trees and I can see the sky again. There are several moons, smaller than Earth’s, different colors. They look like huge marbles. Thinking of marbles, I remember when Art was stolen by a monster from another world. I darted through a window of light to try and rescue him. I didn’t know what lay on the other side. The safe option would have been to wait and consider my actions. But then the window would have closed, Art would have been lost. I’d have regretted my indecision for the rest of my life.
Raz squints at me. “You are going back,” he notes with surprise.
“Maybe Death can’t be defeated,” I sigh. “Maybe the Demonata have won and this ark is all we can hope to protect. But I have to try to stop them. If I run now, I’ll always wonder if there wasn’t something I could have done to save everyone.
“If I fight Death and fail, I’ll return to do what you wish, assuming I survive. But if I quit now, it’ll gnaw away me… at my soul… forever.”
I lower my gaze and wipe tears from my eyes. I don’t know when I started crying, but my cheeks are soaked. “Open a window,” I croak. “I’m going home.”
The journey back passes unremarkably. A series of lights, windows, and worlds. We follow a different route most of the way, but the chambers we pass through are much the same. I don’t explore any of the worlds. I’m fully focused on the battle to come, the huge risk I’m taking, what will happen if I fail. I wish I could be positive about my decision but I’m full of doubts. I think about changing my mind at least ten times an hour.
Eventually we start passing through worlds I remember from the trip out. I get excited as we draw closer to Earth. I might be going to my death, but if that’s to be my destiny, at least I’ll die on home soil.
Finally, as my stomach’s starting to rumble again, we hit Atlantis and come to a stop. Raz looks around to make sure there are no giant slugs, then glances at me. “I’ll wait here for you.”
I’m surprised. “You’re not coming with me?”
“No. I will escort you back but I won’t cross with you. You must face Death by yourself, as everyone must when their time comes. If you wish to return, you can find me here.”
“But I can’t operate the smaller lights,” I remind him.
“You won’t need to,” Raz says. “You will be able to use the normal lights to search for me. It will take a long time to piece them together—at least several hours—but just think of me and you will find the way.”
“How will I breathe while crossing?” I ask.
Raz goes to one of the lodestones and cuts off a sliver of rock with a fingernail, as easily as slicing through paper. “Put this in your pocket,” he says, handing it to me. “Draw on its power if you come back. It will sustain you.”
“You’re sure?” I ask, eyeing the tiny chip of rock suspiciously.
“Yes.”
“How long will you wait?” I ask.
“As long as it takes,” he says. “I will know when you are… finished.”
“You mean when I’m dead,” I smile.
“If the hand plays out that way, yes. But I hope it doesn’t.”
Raz sets to work on the window, and it materializes minutes later. I start to tremble and my stomach clenches. I was never the bravest. I hate fighting. But when I have to, I do. Wincing, I step forward.
“One last thing,” Raz stops me, then hesitates. “This is a delicate matter. I don’t wish to cast doubts without proof, but it’s important that you know about the possibility of the threat.”
“What threat?” I grunt.
“The girl,” Raz says softly. “Her piece of the Kah-Gash was originally part of Lord Loss.”
“So?” I ask warily.
“It was in the demon master for a long time. Pieces normally merge with beings who live no more than a few hundred years. They’re influenced by those they share a life with. Having been part of Lord Loss for so long, her piece might have been more affected by the demon than by other hosts.”
“Are you saying…?” I stop, the thought unfinished, not wanting to continue.
“The Kah-Gash could be manipulating the girl,” Raz says. “Perhaps it spared her soul in order to give Death its freedom. Maybe it wants to restore the original universe. Bec is of good heart, but the best of people can be tricked and misused.