Tears formed in Devlin’s eyes as he nodded his head and looked down. Bringing my hand up to his l
ips, he kissed the back of it. “I’d give anything to take your pain away, Sophia. I know how much you loved, Daniel.”
A sob escaped from my mouth.
Danny. My Danny. Gone from me. Forever.
“He promised me, Devlin. He promised me.”
Standing, Devlin moved closer to me. “Sophia, I know in my heart that Daniel did everything in his power to get back to you. I believe that with everything inside of me.”
Devlin turned away from me quickly in an attempt to hide his tears from me. “How do you know this, Devlin?”
Looking back at me, he smiled weakly. “Because, I know he loved you more than anything. I know Daniel Stowe and he would never break a promise to anyone, especially, the woman he loves. I know had I made that kind of a promise to you, I’d have moved heaven and earth to get back to you. I know he did as well. I feel it in my bones. He loved you so much, Sophia.”
Biting down on my lip to keep from crying, I said, “He doesn’t feel gone, but my heart feels like I’ve lost something.”
Devlin turned away from me and pushed his hand through his hair. “Devlin? What is it? What are you not telling me?”
Slowly turning back to me, he sat on the side of the bed. “I’m so sorry, Sophia. I’m so sorry.”
Reaching my hand down to my stomach, I instantly felt the emptiness. Slowly shaking my head, I barely said, “No … he can’t take them both away from me! Oh, God, please don’t do this to me.” My body was overcome with sobs as Devlin reached down and took me into his arms. Wrapping my arms around him, I cried out as the reality of not only losing my husband, but losing our child as well, engulfed my body like a horrible nightmare that was only just beginning.
Staring out over the garden, I held my legs close to my body. I knew I was not sitting proper at all and I didn’t care. Devlin had taken me to his plantation so I could get out of Savannah. Any time I walked down the street, people’s tongues would wag in gossip, suggesting an affair between Devlin and myself. My mother being the biggest gossip of them all. The moment she found out I was staying at the Covington’s, she began coming to visit me. Closing my eyes, I felt sick thinking back to her last visit. I had seen the exchange between my mother and Mr. Covington’s face one evening. My mother sat with me in the parlor for two minutes before she excused herself and left. I’m sure for a secret encounter with Devlin’s father. I never did tell Devlin, but I had my suspicions he knew of the affair.
Then there was Irene and Chester. I loved them so much, but every time I saw them it brought back all the pain of losing Danny.
Wiping a tear away, I opened my eyes and pulled in a deep cleansing breath of air. Clearing her throat, my eyes turned to Nelly. She was sitting with me in the garden as she knitted. Not saying a word as she let me be alone in my thoughts.
“Nelly, you don’t have to watch over me.”
Tilting her head, her eyes were filled with a light a wish I had. “Would you like something to eat? You failed to eat earlier.”
Attempting to give her a smile, I nodded my head. “I’m a bit hungry.”
Smiling, Nelly jumped up. “I shall return with some bread and jam.”
Watching Nelly scurry off into Devlin’s house I let out a sigh. I knew she meant well, but I really just wanted to be alone.
Gazing back out over the garden I thought of Devlin. I would never be able to thank Devlin for the kindness he had shown me over the last three weeks. I knew this was hard on him. People were beginning to whisper of a love affair between us, even as I walked next to him in my black mourning dress, they still talked.
I also knew that Devlin had feelings for me. I wasn’t sure how strong they were, but sometimes he would look at me with such pain in his eyes. He constantly told me he wished he could take all the pain away. I secretly wished he could too.
Yesterday, Devlin had returned from checking on his crops and found me again, curled up in a ball on the floor. He picked me up and carried me to the fireplace and sat me on the floor in front of it. When he wrapped his arms around me, I tried to pretend it was Danny who held me. My mind drifted back to the beach house on Tybee Island and the night we had made our child. Letting go, I began crying again as Devlin held me most of the night. Only letting me go long enough to add more wood to keep the fire going. When I woke up within his arms, I stared at him for the longest time. Devlin was so handsome, and I knew he had a line of women waiting to have him in their bed.
Once we arrived at the Plantation, he had a dozen women call on him. Finally, he told his butler he would not be accepting any more visitors. Not until I was feeling better and could join him as he entertained his guests.
My heart ached knowing I was taking all of Devlin’s time and attention. I didn’t deserve to have him in my life. I didn’t deserve the love I knew he felt for me.
Hearing the screen door open, I looked over my shoulder. Devlin walked out, dressed in nothing but his work pants and a shirt. His hair was soaked with perspiration and for one brief second, I was attracted to him in such a way that I wanted him between my legs. Looking away quickly, the guilt raced through my body. But I also noticed in those few seconds … the pain of losing Danny was gone.
“It’s a beautiful October day, Sophia. Would you like to join me in a walk?”
Turning back to him, I smiled. “I’m hardly dressed for a walk.”
His eyes searched my body. “You’re dressed in my pants, which by the way suit you rather nicely.”
Looking down, I couldn’t help but chuckle. I had taken a pair of Devlin’s trousers and sewed them to fit me. I couldn’t believe how comfortable they were. I also wore one of his older buttoned-down shirts. My hair was pulled back and out of my face. I was sure I looked terrible, but the way Devlin looked at me, it was as if I was dressed for a ball. He couldn’t pull his eyes off of me.