Okay, so he knew she kept a diary.
“Well, she had hidden it in a place that really not many people would look to find it. I kind of had a few clues.”
Jackson looked at me and barely grinned. The last thing I wanted to tell him was my fiancée felt a connection with his dead girlfriend.
“Anyway, I started reading and it was soon clear to me that Kate would not have wanted anyone, like her mother, to read the diary. I talked to Ryder and Jennifer about it and they both agreed that Lucy should not find out about it only because there are some rather … personal and graphic memories.”
Jackson’s face turned red and his eyes looked sad. “Kate was amazing. I truly loved her with all my heart.”
I looked away. It felt like someone was trying to rip my heart out and stomp on it.
“I know you did. I can tell by the way she writes about you. But, in reading the diary, I found out she was pregnant and I told Ryder.”
Jackson moved about in his seat and cracked his neck. “Oh. That explains the phone call.”
I cleared the lump in my throat. “It’s nothing like that. For my own sanity, I just needed to know how she felt about the pregnancy. Why didn’t you guys say anything? What were your plans?”
Jackson picked up his drink and downed it in one gulp. Lifting his hand, he pointed for another.
“Please forgive me, I don’t normally drink, but it’s been awhile since I’ve talked about Kate and the baby. Well, actually I’ve never talked to anyone about it. I’ve kept the secret like she asked me to.”
In that moment, my heart broke for the guy. He had to hide the fact that he had a child with the love his life. I wouldn’t even try to understand how that must feel.
“It’s okay, believe me I understand. Totally understand and I’m sure this is selfish on my part,” I said, glancing over to Ava.
“No. I want to talk about it. I think it will actually do me good.” His hand pushed through his hair as the waitress dropped off his drink. He picked it up and took only a sip this time.
“When Kate told me she was pregnant, I was stunned. We were always careful. None of that really matters now. The fact was we were going to have a baby. We had both gotten our acceptance letters for the University of Montana. As soon as she told me about the baby, I asked her to marry me and she said yes.”
“What in the hell where you going to do? Go to college with an infant?”
Ava kicked me under the table. I needed to keep my emotions in check.
Jackson took in a deep breath and pushed it out. “That’s what we were trying to figure out. We thought we had it all figured out. She was going to tell your family and I’d tell mine. She was due in March and she figured she would go to school up until she had the baby. She had talked to the principle who agreed to let her homeschool after she had the baby to finish her degree.”
Holy shit. The fucking principle of the high school knew our sister was pregnant?
“She knew Kate was pregnant?”
Jackson shook his head. “No. Kate told her that her father was going out of the country and taking the family.”
I pulled my head back in disbelief. “And she believed it?”
Jackson smiled. “I don’t think she did. I think she put two and two together, but never said anything.”
“Okay, so then what were you going to do?”
He looked at Ava. “Wait. Your name.”
“What about it?” Ava asked.
Jackson smiled. “Ava. That was one of the names Kate had picked out if the baby was a girl.”
My head turned to look at Ava. Her face turned white. “W-what?” I could see her chest moving up and down.
“Yeah, she met someone who worked at the movie theater who had that name, and I remember she wrote it down with the other baby names. I think I still have the list at home in a box of things I saved.”
Ava reached for my hand. Jesus. Maybe my sister was in that damn house. I’m never sleeping there again.