She bit her lip. “I know. It’s just…I’ve gotten attached to him over the past few days. What if this is too much for him?”
“These are his lifelong friends. He’s okay. See, he’s asked Betty to dance.” Ryan circled them so she had a clear view of Percy leading Betty onto the floor.
“He seems to have taken her gesture well. You think he’s ready to think about maybe dating again?”
“Your guess is as good as mine. He about ripped me a new one when I brought it up the other day. But enough about Percy, for now. I’m more interested in you.” Ryan lost some of that sober expression that seemed to be his default, a smile crinkling the corners of his eyes as he pulled her closer.
“Well, that’s sure nice to hear.” She snuggled in, reveling the press of his body against hers.
As they swayed to the music, everything else faded to the background, until she couldn’t think of anything but him. His big, broad hand splayed against the small of her back, fingers kneading slightly, as if he wished he were touching skin. She found herself mimicking the motion against the back of his neck and enjoyed watching his pupils spring wide. Knowing she affected him was as heady and intoxicating as her grandmother’s eggnog.
“How do you feel about traditions?” he asked.
“Generally a big fan. Why?”
“Because we’re standing under mistletoe.”
She glanced up and spotted the kissing ball dangling over their heads. “It’s bad luck not to kiss under mistletoe.”
“Can’t be having any of that,” he murmured, his eyes full of affection and heat.
“Definitely not,” she agreed, already breathless.
His mouth brushed over hers, and she sighed, melting into him. This was dangerous. Oh, so dangerous. It could become an addiction. He could become an addiction. But she couldn’t make herself pull back, couldn’t make herself look beyond what he made her feel in the moment.
By the time he eased back, resting his brow against hers, the song had changed.
“You’re exceptionally good at that, Sergeant.”
Ryan huffed a laugh and brushed a kiss to her temple before resting his cheek there with a sigh she hoped was contentment.
“I have a question.” His voice was a delicious rumble.
Please let it be when can we get out of here. “I expect I can probably come up with an answer.”
“Your year ban on driving was up a couple months ago. Have you driven at all since then?”
All her relaxed arousal evaporated in an instant. She didn’t want to talk about this, didn’t want one more person she had to defend her actions to. Sucking in a breath, she put some distance between them. “Why?”
“Just curious.”
Given what she’d told him on their date, of course he’d wondered. And of course he’d asked. There was no reason to treat the topic like it was a state secret, and nothing in his expression suggested he thought she was crazy or stupid or any of the other things she’d felt herself over the past two months as she’d wrestled with it.
“No, I haven’t driven.”
“Why?”
Carolanne had been circling around this question in her unobtrusive therapist way for weeks. Something about Ryan’s directness compelled her to answer honestly.
“I’m actually terrified to drive.” She winced at the admission. “That must sound incredibly stupid to someone in your profession.”
“There are all kinds of fears, none of them stupid to the person who has them.”
“That’s kind of you to say.”
“Not kindness. Just the truth. Is it that you’re afraid of having another seizure?”
A rational conclusion, but not the right one. “I’m afraid of hurting somebody else. It was a minor miracle nobody but me was hurt or killed last time. No one’s that lucky twice.”