Yasuo shut his gaping mouth. “Did you find out yet who she is?” he asked me.
“Give it up. ” I stared at the door where she’d just entered. “She’s the one person on this island who’s lamer than I am. I’m not quite convinced she’s capable of speech. ”
“Cute, though. ” Yasuo waggled his eyebrows. “Cute but mute? Sounds ideal. ”
I gave him a shove. “Shut up. ”
Josh ignored our banter, focusing on me. “You’re not lame. ”
For a moment, I believed him. But I snapped out of it quickly, wondering again what his ulterior motive might be.
I ran a hand through my hair, clearing my mind of the boys’ nonsense. “Okay, guys. Now I really do need to go. ” With a quick wave over my shoulder, I walked away.
I didn’t want to have to think about free diving or gore or boys named Josh becoming vampires. I didn’t want to stand out or be noticed. I was on overload, and back in the room, all I wanted was to dig out the picture of my mom and stare at her until the world felt right again. Though I feared I’d have to stare a long time for that to ever happen.
I rarely risked looking at the photo now, and only when I really needed the strength. I’d just have to imagine my mom’s blond hair, that yellow Kill Bill pantsuit. How would my mother have fared in a place like this? I was still alive, and I had to have inherited my survival instinct from someone.
I curled onto my bed, thoughts of my father pushing their way into my head. His violent tendencies were in me, too. His rages and casual brutality were there somewhere, twined into my DNA. And I really hoped he wasn’t the person I had to thank for my success.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
I stood against the gym wall, scowling for all I was worth. It was time. The next fitness assessment had arrived. I’d been here well over a month now, and this evaluation was shaping up to be as much of a disaster as the first one.
Fifty-yard dash: laughable.
Rope climbing: catastrophic.
Sit-ups: comical.
And, really, who failed sit-ups? I mean, I’d thought I was doing fine. Until I saw the other girls, arms crossed over their chests, chuff-chuff-chuff ing rhythmic exhales like maniacal little steam engines.
I’d made minimal progress in the past weeks. Did girls get kicked out if they weren’t able to climb stuff?
Pull-ups were next. The blood was making me stronger, but still, I’d yet to get my chin up over that stupid bar. There was a better chance I’d sprout wings and fly than do a pull-up.
I glared at Lilac, trotting through every challenge like a freaking show horse on parade. The sight of her made me livid.
I wanted to triumph. Needed to. But Lilac stood in my way. How would I advance to the next level with Lilac doing all she could to instigate my downfall?
In my peripheral vision, I saw Ronan approach, though I didn’t need eyes to know he was there. I managed to feel him whenever he was close. Like he was a torch burning hot and bright, and I was a big hairy moth.
Inhaling, I turned to face him. I was beyond surly, and eager to cut him off before he gave me the talking-to that I sensed was coming. “What, Ronan? I mean . . . Tracer Ronan. ”
“You must focus, Annelise. ” His tone took me by surprise. It wasn’t that of a scolding teacher, but rather the whispered advice of an ally.
“Focus? I’m sorry, but I’ve been sucking abysmally at every single one of your circuits, and it has me pretty damned focused, thank you very much. ”
“Language,” he hissed.
“Yeah, okay, doggone focused. That better?” I scowled at him. “And as long as we’re talking etiquette, shouldn’t you be calling me Acari Drew, not Annelise?”
“Annelise is your name. ”
Something drove me to nitpick him on the point. “The Initiates and Guidons call me Acari Drew. Shouldn’t you?”
“It doesn’t suit you as Annelise does,” he said, beginning to look a little flustered.
Now I was the flustered one. Why we were even having this conversation? “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s obvious I’ll get kicked out of here soon, anyway. ”