"You would?" My mouth fell open.
One eyebrow arched high in disbelief as my surprise. "Yes, you'll still be part of the Atra family no matter where you go or what you do. You've been a big part in building this up." He waved his arm. "Hell, I'd probably still be stuck in that strip mall on the south side if not for your artwork."
I felt hot tears prick the back of my eyes, and I blinked to keep them from falling. "I wouldn't have ever made it through Ivy's incarceration if it hadn't been for you guys here."
Tucker crouched down in front of me and swiped his fingers across my eyes. The tears had leaked out despite my efforts. "And we will continue to be here for you. We love you, Winter. You're part of us. You may have lost your parents. And your sister's kind of a shithead, but this is your family now. You of all people should know that it isn't what's in here," he tapped the vein on the top of my hand, "that defines the family, but what's in here." He rubbed his hand over his heart.
I swiped my hand under my nose. The tears were streaming out of me, and my nose was getting snotty. "Do you still have that extra room available in your apartment?"
I could hardly believe I was asking, but every night when I went home, I felt Finn’s loss so keenly that I literally ached. Not just in my heart—my entire body hurt. And Ivy buzzed around like her meltdown hadn’t happened.
I was beginning to hate her. The sound of her voice grated on my ears. The way she rubbed her hand over her belly had me scowling. Every little thing she did bothered me these days.
I’d never felt like this when she was addicted. Mostly I wanted her to get better, but now I needed to get away from her before my well of love for her ran dry. As long as I wasn’t with Finn, she seemed okay with the fact that we were barely talking and spent most of our time avoiding one another.
"Yeah."
"If I went back to school, it would be very expensive, and I’d need a cheap place to live."
"If you cook for me every night in that uniform from Riskie's, you can live there rent free."
I slugged him hard but then threw my arms around his neck. "Thank you."
He gave me a brief hug in return and then set me back down. "What about your sister?"
I gave him a bitter smile. “I don’t know, but I bet as long as I stay away from Finn she’ll be fine.”
“You know she’s manipulating you.”
“If it was only Ivy I had to worry about, then maybe I would say fuck it, but she’s pregnant. Even if she’s really bluffing, what if I’m wrong and set her off on a bender that damages her baby? I’d never be able to live with myself.” I stood and emptied out the ink from the gun. "I need to go home and pack. Can I meet you at your place in an hour?"
"Sure. So what should I say to Finn?"
"I don't care what you say to him." I hardened my heart. One of these days I'd be able to hear his name and not feel like I was going to break apart. One of these days I'd be able to look at him and not remember what it was like for him to touch me, kiss me, love me. One of these days I'd think of him as a good memory. But not today.
If I saw him, I’d cave. I’d run into his arms, and then what would I do with Ivy?
Tucker told Finn to leave, and I hid in the back until I was given the all clear. Then I left too, driving to the bank, making arrangements for a new account, and then driving home.
Once home I made one phone call. After I finished with that, I packed my suitcase, stuffing the remaining belongings in a laundry basket and two boxes I'd borrowed from work. I stuffed it all in the Honda and waited.
Finn dropped her off at five thirty. I watched from the window as he parked, illegally, in front of the entrance to the complex. He got out and opened the door for her. He didn't reach in and pull her out like he did with me. Instead he held on to the door, watching as she slid out of the seat. Once she was safely on the ground, he looked upward and waved—a short, choppy gesture that said he was watching.
He had probably called and tried to text, but I’d blocked his number. Not because I didn't want to hear from him, but because I knew I was perilously weak where he was concerned.
Ivy was out of breath when she opened the door to the apartment. She'd have to find a place with either an elevator or an apartment on the ground floor. But that would be her mess to take care of. Or Finn's if he was willing to help her.
"Hey, you’re home already. How come you didn't come and pick me up?"
"I had things to do." I rose from the sofa and walked over to the hook where my purse hung. I pulled out the bank book and handed it to Ivy.
She turned it over. "What's this?"
"It's your checking account."
"I don't handle the money in this family. You do." She shoved it toward me.
"Not for you, not any more. I'm moving out."