"Coolidge, you are so crass," Natasha said.
"Crenshaw, why don't you and Whittaker get together and spawn already?" Gage suggested. "You could pop out the first mixed-race Republican in America."
Whit scoffed. Natasha narrowed her eyes. "Know what I like most about you, Coolidge?" Natasha said. "You're so ignorant, you think it's something to be proud of."
'You know you love me," Gage replied.
"Enough already. Can we get back to the party now?" Dash said.
"I think it's exactly what we need," Noelle said.
"Exactly," Dash agreed. "Get everyone out of this freakin'
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morbid state. It's really bringing me the hell down. And personally, I don't think Pearson would appreciate it."
"He was always up for a good party," Kiran said with a thoughtful frown.
"Please. You just want another excuse to get drunk," Noelle joked.
"What do you think, Reed?" Ariana asked me.
I have to say, part of me was touched that any of these people considered anything to be my call. But I supposed that was what happened when you were the girlfriend of the person who had infamously, mysteriously, died. To these people I was practically a widow.
Unfortunately, I found myself unable to process anything. This, like everything else that came my way these days, was just too much for me to handle. What would everyone think? How could I possibly handle a celebration? Could this really be up to me?
Everyone was staring at me. Desperate, I glanced at Josh. "What do you say? Are you ready to party?"
He shrugged. "Might not be the worst idea. If it helps people, you know, move on."
He held my gaze for a moment and I knew he wasn't just thinking about "people." He was thinking about me. He wanted me to move on. With him? A skitter of excitement traced its way through the lumps of pain, guilt, and fear in my chest. And, just like that, I had something else I couldn't wrap my brain around.
"I think it's a great idea," I said, forcing a smile. "You guys are right. All this drama isn't very Thomas. Or . . . wasn't."
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"Good. Then it's a go," Dash said, pulling a chair up from another table to sit at the head of ours. "And who knows? Maybe by then they'll catch the bastard who did this and we'll really have something to celebrate."
Taylor snorted, and by the time I turned to look at her, tears were already streaming down her face.
"God, Taylor," Noelle said. "Pop a Prozac and get over it already. Like Hollis said, it's time to move on."
Taylor winced at Noelle's words and my heart went out to her. I reached out to pat her back, but she jumped up before I could touch her.
"I have to go to the nurse," she said.
She fumbled to get her bag strap off the back of her chair and knocked it over in the process, causing a huge clatter in the otherwise silent room. Everyone once again looked at us, and Taylor was mortified. She ducked her head and ran, her now ever- present tissue covering her nose.
"What is her deal lately?" Natasha asked.
Noelle, Ariana, and Kiran all exchanged a look. Like they knew something we didn't--which they usually did. Then they turned their attention back to their food. I sat back in my chair, recalling something Constance had said about Taylor a few weeks back when Thomas had first gone missing. The police had been routinely interviewing all the students, and Constance had told me that that Taylor had come out of her meeting in tears. It had seemed odd, so Constance had speculated that maybe Taylor had a crush on Thomas.
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The thought, at the time, had made me laugh, because I had chalked the whole Taylor-in-tears thing up to a rumor. But now I wasn't so sure. Considering the way Taylor had been acting since the funeral, it certainly seemed possible that Thomas had meant more to her than I had thought.
On Halloween night, the Billings Girls had assured me there would no longer be any secrets between us. Apparently, they were already taking liberties with that promise.