I pressed the heel of my hand into my forehead, trying to make sense of all of this. Thomas was drunk? But he had been so sincere about quitting. And he'd left me that note. He was going to some holistic treatment center. He was getting help.
Had that all been a lie?
"This doesn't make any sense," I said aloud.
"What?" Josh asked.
Wait a minute, wait a minute. Why would he have left me that note if he wasn't actually planning on leaving? I would have been kind of suspicious if I had found the note that night and then seen him on campus the next day. So he must have been planning
on going somewhere. But where?
"Maybe it was just a last hurrah," I suggested. "Maybe he wanted to get drunk one last time before going to rehab?"
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It sounded totally pathetic even as I said it. So pathetic that Josh actually had pity in his eyes.
"Reed, what makes you so sure that Thomas was going to rehab?" he asked gently.
The double doors opened and sunlight poured in. Noelle, Ariana, Taylor, and Kiran strode through and headed straight for the breakfast line. I didn't want them to hear any of this and start speculating. We had to talk fast.
"He left me a note," I confessed quickly. "I found it in one of my books. He said he was going to a treatment center and not to try to find him. He said he was leaving that night."
Josh stared at me for a long moment. Slowly, he shook his head. "Leave it to Pearson. I bet the last words out of his mouth were a lie."
A thump of dread warmed my insides. "What do you mean?"
Josh looked at me as if he'd just realized who he was talking to. "Nothing. Forget it," he said.
"Josh-"
"It's just..." He crumpled a napkin and squeezed it in his fist, just for the sake of crumpling and squeezing. "I just don't think that Thomas ever fully appreciated what he had when he had you, that's all."
Whoa. My mouth fell open slightly and I snapped it closed. Josh stared at me intently. No averted eyes, no quick change of subject. He really meant what he had just said. I was both flattered
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and completely thrown. He'd just implied that Thomas had lied to me nonstop . . . and complimented me in the same breath.
"Reed, you have to show that note to the police," Josh said.
"How do you know I haven't?" I asked.
"Have you?"
"No," I admitted miserably.
"It's evidence," Josh said. "It might be the last thing Thomas ever wrote. They need to see it."
My stomach felt acidic and warm. I had been dreading this moment for weeks, but Josh was right. When he put it that simply, it seemed obvious. Besides, I had only kept the note a secret to protect Thomas from his parents hunting him down. Now that was no longer an issue.
"You're right," I said, determined. "I'll go right after morning services."
Just thinking about it made me feel monumentally better. I was nervous to let the police know I had hidden something from them, but I couldn't wait to be free of it. Thomas had lied to me. Who knew how often or about what? It was no longer my responsibility to protect him. It was about time I got this whole thing over with, once and for all.
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THE RIGHT THING TO DO