Ariana stared up at him, trying to process his words—his patronizing tone. “Palmer … if I’d thought Lexa was going to kill herself, of course I would have done something.”
“I mean, you’re supposed to be her best friend, right? You’re supposed to know these things,” Palmer’s voice grew louder with each word. “Or maybe you guys weren’t as close as you were always claiming to be.”
Ariana’s face was on fire. All her friends turned to stare.
“Palmer, please. Calm down. You’re just upset,” Ariana said.
“Of course I’m upset,” Palmer said, bringing his fist to his mouth. “Lexa’s in there clinging to life and you’re telling me there was nothing you could do to stop it.”
“Palmer, that’s enough,” Jasper said, putting a hand on Palmer’s shoulder from behind. “This is not Ana’s fault.”
“Get off me, man,” Palmer said, swiping Jasper’s arm away and starting to pace like a rabid animal. “All I know is, Ana and Lexa have spent every minute of every hour together for the past two weeks. How many times have you broken dates with me because you just had to hang out with your BFF?” he said sarcastically. “Well you couldn’t have been such great friends if you’d let her go off and do something like this!”
“Palmer, stop!” Maria gasped.
Suddenly, Palmer froze. He looked around at the gaping faces of his friends, as if realizing for the first time that they were there. Then he looked at Ariana. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and her chest heaved beneath her huge diamond necklace. Who the hell did he think he was? She was the one whose best friend was inches from death. He was supposed to be consoling her, not accusing her.
I should have broken up with you before the party, she thought, clenching her teeth. I should have done it days ago.
But she had been afraid. Afraid of losing her It-Girl status on the Atherton-Pryce Hall campus. So now, here she was, getting publicly berated on one of the worst nights of her life. One more nudge and she was going to lose it. She could feel it in her hot, trembling veins.
“Screw you, Palmer,” Ariana said through her teeth.
His brow knit. “What?”
“We’re over,” she snapped.
Everyone stared at Palmer. Ariana could see all the hurt and pain and confusion whirling in his eyes and, for once, had absolutely no idea what he was going to do next. Suddenly, he grabbed his overcoat off his chair and stood up straight.
“Fine,” he said. “If that’s what you really want, then fine. We’re broken up.”
He gave her a sidelong glance and Ariana was certain there was something else he wanted to say, but he thought the better of it, cleared his throat, and walked out of the emergency room.
Ariana looked at Jasper, her true love, and just like that, the tears spilled over. He moved toward her like he was going to take her in his arms, but Maria and Soomie got there first. Which was just as well. No one knew that she and Jasper had been seeing each other behind Palmer’s back, and now didn’t seem like the right time to get into that drama.
“He doesn’t really blame you,” Soomie said, holding Ariana’s hands as Maria brushed her hair back from her tear-stained face. “He’s just freaking out like the rest of us.”
“Yeah, but he’s the only one who felt the need to go accusing Ana,” Maria said sarcastically. “Men are bastards,” she said under her breath.
Ariana rested her head on Maria’s shoulder.
“You know this isn’t your fault, right?” Soomie said, squeezing Ariana’s hands. “None of us saw this coming. None of us.”
Ariana nodded. “I know,” she said, her voice thick.
But I should have. I should have seen what was happening, she thought. And now Lexa’s in there dying because of me.
She glanced over at the police officers who had taken Reed Brennan’s statement about whatever she had been blubbering about. She breathed in and out, trying to get the tears under control. Trying to make sense of everything that had happened. How was it possible that the one person in the world she would have liked to see dead had just walked out the door, and the one person in the world she would have liked to see live was practically dead in the next room?
Sometimes, life was just so unfair.
COMFORTS
She must die … she must die … she must die …
Somewhere between the hospital and the front gates of the Atherton-Pryce Hall campus, the mantra started up again. Ariana stared out the window as headlights flashed by and tried as hard as she could to block it out. She sang songs in her mind, she recited all the states and their capitals, she tried to remember the first, middle, and last names of everyone in her class at Atherton-Pryce.
Nothing worked.