"What about you? What would you do with the money?" Ariana asked, taking a sip of her water.
"Travel," Kaitlynn replied. "My parents and I had this whole plan to see the world together, but we only got through Western Europe before they died. I'd see all the places we were going to see. Australia and the Far East and Africa and Russia and South America... just everywhere."
Ariana noted the wistful sadness in Kaitlynn's eyes and felt a pang in her heart. "You'll do it eventually."
"Yeah, right." Kaitlynn's hands came together in her lap and she looked down at them.
"You will," Ariana assured her.
She looked at her sandwich, at the exposed layer of roast beef on the top, and grimaced at the thick line of glistening fat running through it.
21
"Ugh. They really expect us to consume this?"
Pursing her lips in disgust, Ariana peeled the beef from the sandwich, taking with it a few curls of shredded lettuce, and tossed it into the bushes. She then carefully reassembled her meal, the sandwich now half its original size.
Kaitlynn shifted in her seat, and her tone took on a hint of concern. "Ariana, don't hate me for saying this..."
"What?" Ariana asked, eyebrows raised. She took a bite of her sandwich, enjoying the sudden silence. Her shoulders relaxed completely now as she looked around the courtyard. The guards all at their posts. Rambo licking his paws. The inmates either lunching or wandering around staring at the sky, the flowers, the grass. Oblivious, each and every one of them.
"It's just... maybe you should deal with that," Kaitlynn said, lifting a hand. "You know, your... eating habits."
Ariana blinked, chewing slowly. "My eating habits?"
"Well, it's just... you order a roast beef and turkey club every day, and then every day you throw the roast beef away."
"It's always too fatty," Ariana replied.
Kaitlynn bit her lip, as if carefully considering what to say next. "Ariana, you do know what the definition of insanity is," she said tentatively.
"Tell me." Ariana was enjoying this.
Kaitlynn looked around. She leaned into the table and lowered her voice, making sure only Ariana could hear. "It's doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results."
22
Her blue eyes were wide with unadulterated concern. So earnest it made Ariana want to giggle. But Ariana's self-control had always been her greatest asset. Except, of course, in extreme situations.
"I'm just worried about you. Maybe you should bring it up in group," Kaitlynn said.
Ariana nodded, touched by Kaitlynn's concern. "I'll think about it."
"Good."
Kaitlynn smiled. She picked up her own sandwich and took a big bite. Always polite, she waited until she had chewed and swallowed before speaking again. Ariana very much appreciated this behavior. Inside the Brenda T.'s walls, there was a lot of talking with one's mouth full. Or, for that matter, letting the food just fall right out the side of one's mouth while cackling or jabbering on.
"Know what this weather reminds me of? The summers at Camp Potowamac," Kaitlynn said, peeling the lid off her yogurt container. "Did I ever tell you about that girl Briana Leigh and I used to hang out with? Dana Dover? She was always talking about her friend Emma Walsh from home like she was some kind of Hollywood idol...."
Kaitlynn launched into a story Ariana had already heard at least ten times before. The one where Dana got a letter from Emma that was essentially a breakup letter, saying they couldn't be friends anymore because Emma had a boyfriend now and she'd outgrown Dana. Dana had retaliated by writing a song to the tune of "You Are My Sunshine" called "You Are a Loser." She then got her entire bunk to sing the song into her video camera so that she could e-mail the video to Emma. It was all immature fun, and a distracting story to
23
help whisk away the last remnants of irritation left over from Ariana's session with Meloni.
'"You are a loser... a big fat loser... ,'" Kaitlynn sang merrily under her breath.
"'You're such a fatty... you block the sun..., '"Ariana sang along in her mind, having committed the tune to memory long ago.