“Let’s hope the rest of Faith doesn’t get prick shy,” Sage said and I elbowed him in his ribs, wiping the smug look off his face.
I grabbed my purse and pulled out the NDA I’d been given to sign, scan and send back. “They told me to have my attorney look at this for me. I’m not allowed into this place until it’s signed. After being Nurse Nightmare’s pincushion for the better half of three hours, I’m getting into that club ASAP.” I handed it to Sage. “And since you’re my attorney...” I batted my lashes at him, and Sage took the NDA and went to sit at the table.
I felt Amelia’s worry hovering over me like an annoying fly that keeps buzzing by your ear. “Amelia, I’m fine.”
“You good with anal?” she asked and I choked on my tongue.
“What?”
“Fisting?”
“Amelia!”
“Pegging?”
“Amelia!”
“Squirting, queening, figging?” she continued.
“What the fuck is figging?”
“Having a piece of ginger shoved up your asshole. It burns, Faith. It goddamn burns and some people love it.” I blinked at my friend, realizing she was completely serious.
“Shit. I’ll never look at the Gingerbread Man the same way again. Was it the Muffin man who did this figging? Did he degrade Gingerbread in such a way? The dirty bastard.”
Amelia ignored my joke and asked, “You okay with CBT?”
“The therapy?”
“Cock and ball torture, Faith. Cock and ball torture.”
I covered Amelia’s hand. “Out of everything you have just said, that seems the most exciting to me. Who wouldn’t want to clamp their hands on a pair of balls and make some asshole scream?”
“You’re not being serious about any of this, Faith!” she said, exasperated.
“I am, Amelia.”
“You didn’t even know what queening was, I could tell by your face.”
“I still don’t.”
“It’s when you pop a squat and smash your vagina into someone’s face. That’s it. You just sit on someone’s face. Queening! It’s a whole thing.”
I couldn’t help it. I burst out laughing. Amelia’s mouth twitched until she finally joined in. “Pop a squat? If that’s the truth, then I’m screwed! I can’t squat to save my life. I’d kill the poor asshole who wanted to chow down between my legs. With my thigh strength I’d land on the guy’s face and wouldn’t be able to get back up.” I looked across the room. “Sage! Is vaginal asphyxiation a thing?”
“Sure,” he said, without taking his eyes off the NDA. “Any kind of asphyxiation is a thing.”
“Faith—” Amelia pulled on my arm.
“Amelia. I love you. And bless your innocent heart, but I can only imagine what you had to go through to research those terms today.” Amelia was quiet and not at all adventurous. I adored her for doing this for me.
“I sat in the Hall of Human Origins amongst the life-sized Neanderthals. I swear at one point they were peering over my shoulder, looking at my laptop, gasping along with me.”
“Gasping, huh? That another sexual activity?”
“It is, actually,” Amelia said and my laugh dropped. “It’s when you choke someone out as they come. They pass out for a few seconds and it’s meant to be akin to what some would deem ecstatic.”
“Wow.”
“Wow. Exactly, Faith. These are the types of things you will be walking into blind. I know you’re not some virginal princess, but to these people, you are. This isn’t hooking up with some random guy in a bathroom. This is real scary sex play.”
Leaning over, I kissed Amelia on the cheek. “I love you. And I appreciate you. I just want you to know that. But this is happening, sweets.” Sage flopped down beside me. “Well?” I asked him.
“It’s ironclad, as I thought it would be.” It deflated my hope of the big feature like a pin being stabbed into a blow-up doll. “But not impossible. You’d have to leave out any names, any facial descriptions—anything that could expose the people you meet, or fuck. But as for your experience, what you do and have done to you, you’re good to go.”
“Argh!” I screamed and dived on Sage. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him on the cheek. “Sage, would you like me to queen you in thanks?”
“What?” he asked, nose wrinkling in confusion.
“Smash my hoohaw on your face.”
“Erm...I’m good, Faith, thanks.”
“You sure? These are the delicious treats one might expect from me from now on. I shall become well versed in all things kink.”
“One hundred percent sure, baby girl. Though if you find a handsome man who wants to deliver me treats, I won’t say no.”
“What if he wanted to shove ginger up your ass?”
“Then I’d say call me Mr. Moscow Mule.”
I barked a laugh and slapped Sage’s buff chest.
“I can’t with you two,” Amelia said and curled up on the couch away from us. “Each of you is as bad as the other.” I dove forward and cuddled into her arm. Amelia laughed and pushed me away.