I couldn’t say shit because I was suddenly choked up, don’t ask me what the fuck that was about. It wasn’t my first time around pussy for fuck sake. But fuck if this didn’t feel new, like I was embarking on something unknown. I simply nodded my head with a, “get in”, and closed the door behind her once she did.
I kept my eyes on the road as I drove her out to the beach where the little bungalow was hidden behind a hedge of rosebushes and an iron gate that was meant to keep the undesirables out.
I didn’t say anything as I walked her inside and did a walkthrough to make sure we were alone and the place was safe, but the tension was like a cloud wrapped around both of us.
My dick has been hard since I put her in the car and I was holding on to my patience by a thread. But now that we were here, about to take that step, I knew I had to be very careful for both our sakes, how I proceed. I had to be sure that she understood what she was getting into, because I wasn’t kidding when I said I was done with the casual bullshit.
6
She was standing in the middle of the living room right where I’d left her when I came back. I guess there was no more running from this shit, not that I wanted to. I’d spent the last two days salivating at the thought of what I was going to do to her once she gave me the go ahead.
I’m not sure about her experience, I hadn’t seen much in her bio and I didn’t believe fuck of what I read online. The person I knew was not the flighty bed-hopping hoyden she was made out to be in the gossip rags. I knew enough not to believe everything I heard, but to see for myself.
I would’ve known if she was playing me, if she was putting on an act. It’s my job to know these things and I’m fucking awesome at my craft. She was the real deal. If she wasn’t an innocent, she wasn’t far from it.
That wasn’t the problem though, the problem I now have is worrying about just how much of me she could take, and not just physically. I had the insane need to take her in all the ways a man could take a woman. Something I didn’t have any experience with, but was now beating a hole in my chest.
The need to protect was there sure, but this shit ran much deeper than that. I wanted to fucking consume her from head to toe and that can’t be good for her little ass. The girl was barely five-three in heels. My strapping six foot two, two hundred and twenty pounds would no doubt crush her.
But my dick didn’t give a fuck. He liked the idea of something that small being under his control and my heart wasn’t far behind. That was the biggest part of my problem. The thing that scared the ever living shit outta me.
My heart doesn’t usually get involved in this shit. He knew better, and he stayed the fuck in his lane. Now all of a sudden he wants to make the plays and it seems that if my dick was gonna get wet, then he wanted in on the action. Son of a bitch! Why her, why now?
Wasn’t love supposed to be a soft lead-up with someone you’ve known for more than a minute? And weren’t you supposed to have some kinda say in who the fuck your heart went after? This is some bullshit.
I was just this side of pissed when I realized that she had me bent. I didn’t come here looking for this shit. A man should have some say in whom and when the fuck his life is gonna go off the rails.
If I touch her-her life will change and as much as I wanted to put her under me, I guess I felt enough for her to want her to be happy, and this shit seems to make her happy. Fucking Hollywood! So I decided to give her one last chance to walk away, by scaring the shit out of her. I’ve lost my fucking mind.
The old me would’ve taken what the fuck he wanted and bounced. This new asshole had to get caught up in feelings and conscience and shit. Fuck me, when had life become this complicated?
She watched me as I walked up on her and stood looking down at her. The moonlight shone through the bank of windows that lined the front of the house, and beyond the beach, the waves rolled gently on the water.
It was still outside, the birds had gone to bed after shitting on every available surface, and her closest neighbor was a few hundred yards away. No one would hear her scream and I had no doubt her little ass would be screaming.