With my heart in my throat, all I can do is nod. And then he spins me around and gives me a little nudge toward the toilet. I hear his and Emmy’s unintelligible voices going back and forth as I shut myself inside the little room with the toilet.
My heart pounds inside my chest as I unbox the test, taking great care to aim correctly and pee on the stick, slipping the cover back on the end of it before wiping and pulling up my leggings. I don’t look at the test as I open the door and carry it with me to the vanity, where I wash my hands, refusing to even peek at the window that will give me the results. I dry my hands on a towel hanging next to the mirror and carry the test out into the bedroom, where there are three sets of eyes now staring back at me, as Dean has Emmy pulled onto his lap, his back against Curtis’s headboard. Curtis is sitting on the end of the bed, his knees jumping up and down a mile a minute as he waits for me to approach him.
And in this moment, as scary as my near future could turn out to be, there is nowhere I’d rather be than in the company of the people in this room right now. I’ve never felt so safe in such a terrifying situation in my life.
I walk up to Curtis, and he pulls me between his legs, turning me sideways and tugging me down to sit on his thigh. I still refuse to look at the test, unsure what I want the results to be. I haven’t even had time to think about any of that.
I grab hold of his wrist and turn his hand over so his palm is facing up, and I lay the test in the center of it. Then I rest my chin on his shoulder, looking over his back to lock eyes with Emmy. She can’t hide the emotions on her face. They’re bouncing between excitement and worry, but anticipation is always there in her eyes. And when I feel Curtis’s head bow, knowing he’s looking at the test in his hand, I close my eyes, praying for… I don’t know what. Do I pray it’s positive? Even at the risk of losing our baby? Do I pray it’s negative, so we don’t have to worry any more about it?
So I pray for everything to just work out the way it’s supposed to.
I wobble on Curtis’s thigh as I feel the bed shift, and I open my eyes to see Emmy crawling as fast as her hands and knees can move over the thick covers as she reaches Curtis’s back. Her hand wraps around the back of my head and into my hair to hold me tight in a hug as best she can as she looks over my guy’s shoulder.
And I hear her gasp.
Just as Curtis turns his head more in her direction.
“What does that mean? Two lines side by side. Is that two minuses? Like negative? Would it be a plus sign for positive?” he asks, his body starting to tremble beneath me, and I hear my best friend’s giddy voice respond as I bury my face in the side of his neck, tears welling in my eyes as I already know the answer.
“No! Two lines means positive! You’re pregnant!” she squeals, and I pull my eyes up enough to watch as she stands up on the bed and starts jumping, chanting with each hop, “Miracle baby! Miracle baby! Miracle baby!” And then “Belle’s getting a cousin! Belle’s getting a cousin!” And her enthusiasm is contagious as I allow myself ten seconds of hope that this will all work out okay.
Curtis’s arms encircle my waist and he falls back on the bed, hauling me with him as he lets out a whoop, and Emmy plops down on her ass before—gently—dogpiling on top of me. I feel her smack a kiss to my cheek before I peek up to see Dean picking her up off me, a huge grin on his handsome face. He gives me a wink as Emmy tries to wiggle out of his arms, but when he tells her, “Let them have this moment, love,” she settles down and melts against him with a nod. They disappear out the bedroom, and I hear the door close behind them.
Curtis
I feel her trembling against me, and I don’t know whether she’s crying or laughing. I wrap my arms even more tightly around her, holding her to me. “Are you okay, sugar?” She nods against my chest and I relax a bit until I hear her soft voice.
“We need to go to the doctor. What time is it?” she asks.
“It’s 6:06 p.m.,” I reply.