Nico answers groggily. “When I don’t answer the first nineteen times, it means I don’t want to talk.”
“Ew, someone sounds like they woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
“Yes, Aviva kicked me out of the bed last night, so I had to sleep on the couch, and I’m too damn big for that thing.”
I can totally see his long body falling off the couch. Since I doubt laughing will help the matter, I say, “That sucks, bro. What’d you do?”
He groans loudly. “My dick slipped into her ass, and she has hemorrhoids. So, she was all kinds of butthurt over it.”
I hold in my laughter. “Literally, eh?”
He scoffs. “Yeah, basically. But she’s pissed and not speaking to me.”
“Because you put your dick in her ass,” I say very evenly so he can see his wrongdoing. I mean, I’m all for some ass play as long as my partner is into it. Easy to say Aviva was not down.
“It slipped.”
“Okay, stick with that story,” I say, rolling my eyes. “I need your advice.”
“Well, I just gave you the best advice about not letting your dick slip in your girl’s booty,” he says flatly, and I chuckle. “But what else can I help with?”
“I already knew that,” I retort. “But it’s a good reminder not to do that.”
“Exactly. You’re welcome.”
“Anyway,” I deadpan, and he laughs. “I slept with Jaylin last night.”
Might as well come out and say it. His laughter stops, and he whispers, “For real?”
“For real,” I say, and it’s like a movie in my head again. I see her moving over my body as I eat her out, I feel her ass in my hands, and damn it, I want more.
“Well, slap my ass and call me Sally. I didn’t think you had the balls.”
“I do, and they’re bigger than yours, thank you very much,” I snap back, but I’m only met with laughter. “But things didn’t go as planned.”
“You couldn’t get it up?”
“I hate you.”
“I know. Continue.”
“Celeste started crying once we finished, so I went to get her—”
“Please tell me you washed up first, or I honestly can’t listen anymore.”
“Jesus, Nico. Focus.”
“Tell me you washed up.”
“For the love of God, yes, I washed up, you freak. Focus!”
“Thank God. A baby doesn’t need sex juices.”
I choke. “You made me gag.”
“Now you know how I feel,” he throws back, and I want to remind him that he just told me his dick slipped into the hemorrhoid-riddled ass of his future wife, but I keep that to myself.
“After washing up—”
“Thank you.”
I’m going to scream. “I went to get Celeste, and she needed to be rocked back to sleep. Problem is, I fell asleep, and when I woke up, she was gone.”
“Celeste was gone?”
I groan. “No, Jaylin.”
“What did you expect? For her to wait for you?”
“Yes. I put some damn good lovin’ on her.”
“I doubt that,” he says dryly, “or she wouldn’t have left.”
“Why did I call you?”
“Because I’m your only friend,” he says like he’s right. He’s not. “So, like Aviva, you’re butthurt?”
“Yes, I am. What if she only used me for the dick?” When he scoffs in disbelief, I ignore him, continuing with what is ailing me. “Or what if she didn’t like that I was a dad? I don’t have her number, so I can’t call and find out.”
He doesn’t answer right away; he thinks it over. “Jaylin isn’t an asshole like that. The dad thing wouldn’t bother her since she knows you’re a dad, and from what I’m told, she thinks it hot.” Well, that’s hopeful and seems right. I mean, she did say she liked that I was a dad on numerous occasions. I really need to let that go. “But she does love dick. She doesn’t settle down or stay with one guy, so using you for your shrimp dick is a huge possibility.”
I should have called my boy Chandler. He would have lied to me and told me I was pretty.
“The fact that she didn’t leave you a number gives me reason to believe she was only in it for the dick.”
Fuck me. “I was afraid of that.”
“But you won’t know until you call her or talk to her. Send her an email asking for her number.”
“I don’t know her email address. I deleted that email.”
“So, look it up on the website, doofus.”
While Chandler would have told me what I wanted to hear, he probably wouldn’t have given me that advice. He has baby brain right now and is still very upset we lost the Cup. “Good plan.”
“Yeah. Or do something she can’t say no to.”
“Huh?”
“Go to the office, throw yourself out there.”
I blink. “You know damn well I won’t do that.”
“True. You have no balls.”
“I hate you so damn much.”
“Same. How’s my girlie?”
I laugh. “She’s eating some oatmeal.”
“Good. We’re leaving tomorrow to take Callie to school, so make sure you get ahold of Jaylin before then because she’s going with us.”