I look down at my hands. “I know that now.”
“Honey, I love you. But if you had your choice, you’d keep going down the same route in life and be happy as a clam.” Apparently today is the day for a lot of clam witticisms. “Something needed to happen to change it up, and I think this might have been it.” She cups my face and then kisses my cheek. I lean into her as she wraps her arms around me again.
When I look at my dad, I can see that he is not entertained or even convinced. “Or she could have stayed here and not gotten hurt at all. Something I was trying to protect her from and is why I sent the kid away.”
Mom shakes her head. “Shea, I don’t know why you are constantly making sure Posey doesn’t get hurt but Shelli is out on her own.”
“I protect both my girls.”
“Posey more so,” she says matter-of-factly, still holding me but setting him with a look. “Or maybe it’s because, like I said before, she doesn’t put herself out there.”
“She does just fine. Everyone loves her,” Dad throws back at her.
“Well, of course they do. She is a joy, but she’d rather sit in the play-making room with the tapes than go out and be around people. I blame us. We didn’t push her.”
Wow. My mom really makes me sound like a loner. I mean, I kinda suspected I was one, but I didn’t realize that she thought it too.
“She’s smart. People suck,” Dad says, holding out his hands. “Unlike Shelli and the boys, she won’t get hurt. Smart.”
“And what if I had been like this and never met you?”
Dad scoffs. “Baby, I was meant to find you and marry you.”
Swoon. “Yup, it’s y’all’s love that made me go to Colorado after Maxim.”
They both look at me, concerned. I get that look a lot. I don’t consider myself the middle child, but in some sense, I am. Owen and Evan are the same person and wouldn’t accept being a middle child. I think because of that, I’ve taken on the role. It’s been an ongoing competition with Shelli, and then the boys are their own entity, and it left me on the bench, by myself. I don’t mind. I don’t even resent anyone for it, but I do know where they are coming from. Everything my mom is saying is true, and I’m not saying I’m changing right this second, but I want to do better.
“Yes, I don’t put myself out there. Yes, I’d rather be alone with my tapes, and yes, I don’t live the life that Shelli is. Or hell, that the twins are, or even Quinn is. But with Maxim, I had to try, and it didn’t work out. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up. I know you’re both nervous about that.”
Dad nods. “We don’t want this to discourage you. Not all guys are jackasses.”
“Most of them are, though,” Mom supplies, and I smile, though Dad gives her a dry look. “We just want you to be happy, my love.”
“Yeah, what she said. If you’re happy watching tapes and cutting out the world, save me a seat.” He takes my hand then, squeezing it in his large one. He’s always been my hero. The standard for all men. “We see more coming from you.”
“Like I said,” Mom says, pinning him with a look, “I feel you needed this as a wake-up call, almost. You can’t just sit back and wait for something to happen. Maybe if you had said something earlier, then something could have happened between you and Maxim—”
“Or not.”
She ignores my dad and goes on. “But you didn’t, and instead, you got your heart stomped on. Or better yet, the rug pulled out from underneath you.”
“Real funny, Mom,” I say dryly, and she laughs. “Really, though, I hear you. You’re right. I handled this all wrong, but I want you both to know I am sorry for how I went about it.”
Dad exhales. “You can pay us back with your first paycheck from the Assassins.”
Mom looks satisfied with that. “I’ll just hold that check since you’ll be working with Uncle Jakob as our assistant special teams coach.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. When my uncle offered me the job, I didn’t take it. I wanted it—man, I want it. It’s a dream job. To work with professional players and help them win and dominate, yeah, that’s truly amazing. But I thought I wanted love more. Now I see the error of my ways. “I didn’t think the job would still be available for me.”
She scoffs. “If you think I was gonna allow one of the best playmakers I’ve ever seen go somewhere else, you’re crazy. Ask your uncle. When I see talent, they don’t get away from me.”