“I’ll hold you to that.” I brought my eyes back to his and lifted a hand to my forehead. I felt clammy. “What did that priest give me?”
“LSD.”
“What?” My eyes widened.
“I wasn’t sure if you’d done it before.”
“I’ve never cared to experiment in that department.” I sat up and stretched as well. “Is that legal?”
“For them to give you drugs?”
I nodded.
“For fifty grand?” He shrugged a shoulder. “I’m going to make us breakfast, unless you need me to bathe you.”
“I don’t.” My cheeks warmed.
“So I’ll meet you in our usual spot.”
“Our usual spot?”
“The piano room.”
“Right.” I smiled. “I’m feeling very slow today, sorry.”
“Take your time.”
I watched him walk out and shut the door behind him. As soon as he was gone, I sighed into my pillow. I still felt high. LSD was definitely something I wouldn’t be doing again. I didn’t remember anything about last night, but I could have sworn I saw Karen. It couldn’t be right. I mean, unless somehow she was there last night, but that was impossible.
We spent the majority of the day hanging out with Will and Wolf. I’d made it a point to wear a dress today, it was lavender with small white flowers, just above my knees and cinched at the waist. I loved the way it fit me because it was sexy without being too revealing. When Adam saw me walk downstairs in it, his heated gaze told me it was the perfect thing to wear. We’d spent the majority of the day touching, holding hands, brushing fingers, hugging as we laughed at Will and Wolf’s jokes. I felt like I was completely in. Maybe that was the point of all of the tests, not to prove to them that we were worthy, but for them to give us time to let it all sink in and make us realize that we belonged to this family. There were still people around who had attended the ceremony, but even though we’d spoken to some, most of them were mingling amongst themselves and with women I’d never seen before.
“Why are there so many women here?” I looked at Will, who was beside me.
“Members are allowed to invite people to spend the night on the night of the ceremony. It’s basically the only night we have an open-door policy like this. Even when we throw parties, guests can’t stay over.”
“So these are, what, their wives?” I looked at the crowd again.
“I don’t think Professor Wagner is married to his TA,” Wolf said with a laugh as he pointed at the man in question. The man wasn’t very old, maybe early forties, but the woman was definitely much, much younger than him.
“She can’t be much older than me,” I said.
“She’s not. Rae’s a junior,” Wolf said. “She’d be my pick if they let women join The Swords. She’s got it all, brains, looks, her family has power. Too bad she’s into older men.”
“Married older men,” Will added.
“Ew.” I wasn’t a saint, but I prided myself in having somewhat of a moral code.
Later, when everyone left, Adam and I finished up dinner and headed to the piano room. I was feeling a billion times better than I was when I woke up this morning, but so many things were still running through my mind and I’d spent the majority of the day trying and failing to sort it all out.
“What are you thinking about?”
“The Chancellor said something last night that made me think.”
“What?”
“He said the world depends on women to make sacrifices. He said without their sacrifices the world would be a disaster.”
“Makes sense. Women are often seen as selfless beings.” He pushed the door to the piano room open and let me walk in before following and closing it behind us.
“He made it seem like I’d have to make a sacrifice.”
“Last night?”
“In general.”
“What’s your concern? That they’ll ask more of you even though you’ve had your official ceremony?”
“No. I mean yes, obviously, but no. Between what he said and what the nun said about my sister. I just . . . ” I paced a few steps. “What if . . . ” I shook my head, trying to gather my thoughts. “Would you be able to tell if one of the keys or cards is fake?”
“You mean the one you got?”
“Yes. I just . . . isn’t it weird? Why would I be invited?”
“You said you had a 4.0 GPA. That would be a good reason for an invite.”
“The same year they invite Stella? My parents didn’t even go to college.”
“Did their parents?”
I shook my head. “I’m the first person in my family to attend.”
“Ever? Even community college?”
“Karen and Esteban both grew up in poverty. Education was a luxury.”
“Education should never be a luxury.”
“Well, unfortunately, not all of us are born into wealthy families. Or even middle-class families. To some people, education is the ultimate luxury.”