“Pilar.” The queen said in a voice full of warning. “Pipe down.”
“I’m fine, Mother.” Her eye roll wasn’t obvious on her face, but dripping all over her words. “So, you’ll come this Sunday, Addie? May I call you Addie?”
“Pilar.” The queen warned.
“You may definitely call me Addie.” I smiled.
“So, it’s settled. We’ll see you Sunday,” the queen said. “Will you join, Madame Perla?”
“Oh, I would, but I don’t think it’s appropriate, all things considered.” My mother gave her a small smile.
“Nonsense,” the queen said. “Leave the politics to the men. It’s their shiny little annoyance to deal with.”
“I really shouldn’t,” Mother said. “Neither should Adeline. It may look bad.”
“No one will know,” the queen said. “Do you know how many people come over that the press doesn’t have a clue about?”
“She’s been under a lot of scrutiny lately,” my mother added. The shame of my past tainted my vision with unshed tears. I blinked them away and composed myself, but stood quietly as I waited. If the queen no longer wanted to invite me over because of my scandal, I would understand.
“All of us are under scrutiny,” the queen said. “If I let the tabloids dictate who was allowed in my house, I would never have anyone over.”
“I respect that,” my mother said.
I smiled. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Oh! The dance. We have to make sure all of the ladies are lined up for Elias,” the queen said.
“I’ll get to it,” Joss said, squeezing my arm as she walked by. Princess Pilar followed her, leaving my mother and me standing there.
“You shouldn’t go.”
“You heard the queen. I can’t just not go if she invited me.”
“Make something up. Go to London.”
“I’m not going to turn down an invitation from the queen because my father doesn’t know where to draw the line and back down,” I whisper-shouted.
“Your father has worked his entire life for one cause. You already put his reputation in peril once. Do you really want to do that again?” she asked. “Remember who paid for your schooling. Remember who helped you get approved for loans when you decided to start this business. You’d be nothing without him.” She turned to walk away. “Tomorrow, you’ll leave before everyone else does, go back to the villa, and pack up and return to London. In their court, you’re nothing but a jester, someone for them to befriend and then discard. Don’t forget that.”
I ran for the nearest restroom. I needed to be alone for a moment. The event was running smoothly without me anyway. Those were the perks of hiring trusted people to entertain. When I reached the bathroom, I went into a stall and locked it, letting out a breath as I leaned against the door. The main door opened and I listened as two women giggled and walked to the stalls beside me.
“Personally, I don’t know why anyone would want to marry him,” one of them said. “My friend Fergie had sex with him and he didn’t even go down on her.”
“I’ve heard that about him,” the other replied. “Such a waste.”
Both toilets flushed at the same time and the doors opened. They walked over to the sinks.
“He is good-looking though,” one of them said.
“I prefer Aramis. He’s so hot.”
“Elias seems so angry all the time.”
“Aramis seems like such a good time.”
They both laughed at that and walked out of the bathroom. It was kind of refreshing to hear that not everyone here was in love with Elias. I thought about what they said and thought about my first time with him. He most certainly did go down on women. He’d done it to me and he didn’t even know me, so they were wrong on that account. My eyes slammed shut as the memories flooded my brain. It had been so long, you’d think they’d be grainy at best, but the feel of his lips against my skin was as clear as if it were happening this instant. My heart pounded as I stood there. Earlier, he would have kissed me. He would have touched me, teased me. I had no doubt. The best thing I did was put an end to it. I opened my eyes and walked out of the stall, washing my hands and drying them before walking out.
By the time I made it back to the party, the dance was in full swing. Elias had one of the ladies in his arms as they danced across the makeshift ballroom floor we’d had set up. The music was soft and the lights were dimmed to a soft blue hue, just as Madame Rose had requested. It looked beautiful. Fit for a king. As I watched, I felt something akin to jealousy growing inside me. I’d never wished for much. I’d always been the kind of person who went along with whatever life threw at her. I tried my best to make life easier for my parents, the sex tape being the only slip ever despite it being a pretty destructive one. In that moment, I wished to be one of those women, because at least they had a shot in the dark at the prince. It was something I would never have. I felt someone stand beside me and smiled when I realized it was Pierre.