“You look like an underwear model.”
“I’d say the same about you, but you’re not wearing much.” He smiled. God. That smile.
“You should be a sin.”
“Maybe I am.” He took a step forward, bringing both hands to either side of my face. “Would you pray against me?”
I shook my head. “I don’t pray much.”
“Hm. A sinner then.”
“Maybe.” I tilted my chin a little higher, asking, begging, and then, I froze.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’ve never done this before,” I whispered, my lower lip quaking slightly. “Not like this.”
“Like what?” He kissed my forehead, then each eyelid as I shut my eyes.
“Granting permission,” I whispered. I felt uneasy suddenly, but the expression on his face was devastation, comprehension, and compassion.
“You told me, remember? When you sat down in that chair,” he said. “I believed you. I believed every word you told me. I fought for you.”
A sob got trapped in my throat. I swallowed and nodded, tears stinging my eyes and trickling down my face. He had believed me and he’d been the one to take vengeance in my name. Not my father. Not my mother. Not my grandmother, but a stranger. A stranger I’d been told to stay away from, to be deathly afraid of. I wrapped my arms around River’s neck and pulled his face to mine, taking a kiss, desperate for him, desperate to forget, to remember, to feel, to just be. He kissed me with the same ardor and lay me on the bed as he explored my body with his mouth. I explored his with my hands, each rigid muscle, and when I wrapped my arms around his back, I felt a scar, then another, and another. I gasped, but it wasn’t at the feel of his imperfections, it was because he began moving down my body, settling his head between my legs. I shivered, feeling his mouth over my mound, his tongue on my clit. My head fell back.
This was better than my dream. Better than anything I’d ever imagined. And when he hooked his fingers into my panties and dragged them down my legs before bringing his mouth back to my pussy, I knew there was no way to have ever imagined this without the experience. Behind my eyelids, I saw colors flashing, the stars shooting to and from their place in space. With his tongue, he drew another constellation, a private one, just for me, and when I orgasmed, it was his face that I saw painted in all those colors. I was still panting when I opened my eyes and saw him kneeling before me, just staring at me with his underwear still on. I sat up on my elbows and reached for the elastic, looking into his eyes, asking, pleading.
“We don’t have to.”
“Am I not your prize? To do with whatever you want?”
“I . . . ” He let out a chuckle, glancing away briefly. “Having you here is prize enough, even if you will leave me, even if you will forget me.”
“How could I forget you?” I sat up straight now, until we were nose to nose. “How could I forget this?”
“You will.” His eyes were sad as he spoke and set a hand on the center of my chest. “You have before. You will again. It’s okay, little witch. I’ll settle for living inside of you. Deep in your bones. You’ll always feel me there, with every breath you take.”
I pulled him to me again, kissed his mouth with reverence, tugged his underwear off with his help. I pulled back and took him in, knowing my eyes were as wide as saucers. It wasn’t like I had many men to compare him to, or any, for that matter, outside of the occasional porn search, but River was huge. I wrapped my hand around him, tugging gently. He moaned deeply, falling upon me and setting his closed fists on either side of me as his mouth found my neck.
“You’ll kill me,” he whispered. “You’ll fucking kill me.”
“I’ll die if I do.” I met his gaze.
His eyes widened at that. I didn’t know where the words came from or why I said them. The only thing I knew was that in that moment, my chest felt like it would cave if I didn’t have him inside me, and I knew that welcoming him would certainly change my life. River settled between my legs then, sliding his fingers inside me to coax me, but I didn’t need to be further coaxed. He slid inside of me gently, slowly, keeping his dark eyes on mine as if to make sure I was okay, or maybe it was just to immortalize the moment. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. The only thing I could do was feel. Feel River inside me, his girth stretching me as he filled me. Every time it seemed like he was going to pull out, I held him tighter, wrapping my legs around his waist, my hands gripping his strong arms, all the while keeping my eyes on his, unable to look away. Like my first orgasm, and my dream, I felt it creep down my spine and spread through me. For a few seconds, it was as if everything was perfect, everything was light, everything was in color, and then he said my name.