A sister. Callie had a sister. Or she’d had a sister.
Now he understood her reaction when she’d heard about Violet. Now he understood why she’d been so angry with him. If she’d lost a sister and felt as if he’d abandoned his...well, her reaction was entirely normal.
“Isabel was a year older than me. She was at medical school too. She wanted to work at the DPA.”
“Did you?” Things were starting to fall into place for him. This was behind the reaction in the chapel earlier. This was why she wasn’t sure of herself.
She hesitated. “I...I didn’t know what I wanted to do.”
“Was Isabel injured in the car accident?”
Callie couldn’t speak now. She just nodded. The tears were spilling down her face. Her hands were icy, almost as if she was in shock. He rubbed them gently, trying to encourage the blood flow and get some heat into them again.
It was obvious that Callie didn’t talk about this to people. Violet hadn’t heard a single thing about this—he suspected that no one at the DPA knew. Hadn’t anyone ever asked her about her scar?
It was one of the first things he’d noticed about her.
It was time to ask the ultimate question. He had to give her a chance to let go. “Did she die?”
And that’s when the sobs were let loose. Big, loud gasping sobs. The kind where you couldn’t catch your breath before the next one took over your body.
He knew how that felt. He’d been there too.
He moved, sitting on the arm of the easy chair, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and letting her rest her head on his shoulder as she cried. It was the most natural thing to do.
Grief was all-consuming.
“There was a nurse and she knew Isabel was going to die. My parents hadn’t got there yet. They were about to take me to Theatre but she wouldn’t let them. She pulled me over to Isabel and put her hand in mine. It was the best and worst moment of my life. She knew how important it was. And I never even got to thank her. Everything just turned into a blur after that. My parents arrived and...”
“That’s why you wanted the boys to hold hands. Now I get it,” he murmured. It all made sense now. The look of terror on her face, her reactions. They were all the actions of someone who had walked in those shoes. Only someone who’d had that experience could truly know what it all meant and how important the smallest thing could be.
Her voice tailed off. She couldn’t talk any more. He lifted a damp lock of her hair and dropped a kiss on her forehead. “I understand, Callie. I understand better than you could ever know.”
“How can you?” she whispered. Her whole body was shaking. “We were fighting. I’ve never told anyone this but Isabel and I were fighting. A car came round the corner on the wrong side of the road and I didn’t have time to react. I didn’t have time to react because I was distracted. I was trying to stop Isabel from getting her own way yet again.”
He could see the pain written across her face. And more than anything he wanted to take it away.
The feelings almost overwhelmed him. It had been so long since he’d felt like this that he almost didn’t recognize it. That intensity. That urge to protect.
The feelings of love.
Sawyer sucked in his breath. The pain spread across his chest. His heart thudded, his muscles tensed.
Every one of his senses was hyper-aware. He could hear her panting breaths, feel the dampness of her tears between his fingertips. He could smell the aroma of her raspberry shampoo and remember the taste of her on his lips.
And he could see her. All of her. Her bedraggled hair, damp around her forehead. The little lines etched around her clear blue eyes. The pink tinge of her cheeks. The dark red of her lips.
Her pink scrub top clung to her, outlining her firm breasts and the curve of her waist. The matching trousers hugged her hips and thighs. Her bright pink casual shoes cushioned her feet, with one dangling from her silver-starred toes.
All of this made up the picture of the woman that he loved.
The realization made him want to run. Made him want to escape for a few minutes to sort his head out and realign his senses.
But he couldn’t leave. He could never leave her like this. His hand rubbed her back and he tried to keep his eyes off her silver-starred toes and the pictures they were conjuring up in his mind.
“All siblings fight, Callie. That’s normal. That’s what being a brother or sister is all about. You were just unlucky.”
She shook her head. “But it didn’t feel like that.” She pressed a hand to her chest. “Isabel had always been really competitive. Medical school was just making her worse.” Her eyes turned to meet his. “Of course, her fellow students would never have said that. They all embraced that kind of lifestyle. As if everything was a race, every mark a victory. But she carried it home with her. And it made being her sister tough.” Her voice cracked and sobs racked her shoulders once again.
Sawyer pulled her close. She was consumed with guilt. That much was obvious. Not just because she’d been driving the car but because of how she’d been feeling towards her sister.
“Callie, I know. I understand. Violet was the good girl in the family. The one who always looked perfect in pictures. Sometimes I even hated her.”
“You did?” Her eyes widened, her expression was one of surprise.
“Of course I did—she’s my sister. Family’s like that. You can’t love or hate anyone more than your immediate family. No one else generates the same emotional energy. The same tug. Even in love.” He gave her a smile.
“I walked away a few years ago. If I’d stayed near my family they would never have allowed me to live the way I have. The first thing Violet did when I phoned her was chew me out. Just wait till I see her. There won’t be anything left for you.”
“For me?” The tone in her voice changed. Her gaze fixed on his.
He bent his face to hers, taking in her trembling lips. Right now he didn’t care about the monkeypox. He didn’t care about the quarantine and vaccinations. And he certainly didn’t care about the plans.
All he cared about was the woman in front of him.
It didn’t matter how long he’d known her. It didn’t matter how much they’d have to work through. All that mattered now was that he wanted a chance with her.
A chance to see where life could take them.
“Callie, what would it take to make you happy?”
She shook her head. “What do you mean?”
He knelt down in front of her. “I want you to stop thinking about anyone else. Stop thinking about the situation we’re in with work. Stop thinking about responsibilities. Stop thinking about what anyone else thinks about you.” He clasped both her hands in his. “I’ve spent the last six years in a fog, Callie, and being around you has finally woken me up.”
He looked around the plain white room they were in. “I can see the color in things again. I can see light again. And it’s all because of you.”
She took a deep breath and drew back a little. She looked scared. Not of him—but of what he was saying.
“But we’re not a good match, Sawyer. We’re nothing alike. Even Callum said we’re like oil and water.”
Sawyer smiled. Trust Callum to see things long before anyone else could.
“And
opposites attract, Callie.” He drew her closer and whispered in her ear, “And in case you haven’t noticed, I’m really attracted to you.”
“Ditto,” she whispered.
Their eyes met. They were reliving the conversation in the kids’ cinema room.
“Callie, do you really want to be part of the DPA?”
“What?” She looked shocked.
He held his hands out. “This, Callie, all this. Is this really what you want? Because I can see you’re a good doctor but I have to keep convincing you of that.” He laid his palm on her chest above her heart, “And if you don’t feel it in here, I wonder if you’re doing the job of your heart or if you’re just doing your duty to your sister.”
All of a sudden she couldn’t meet his all-too-perceptive gaze.
He put a finger under her chin and gently made her look at him. “Sometimes you need someone else to put things into perspective for you. Callie, I see a beautiful woman who is a great doctor but who is clearly in the wrong job. Was it in your heart to come to the DPA? Or did you come because that was the path that Isabel had mapped out for you both?”
“We wanted to work together. It was our dream.”
“Both your dreams? Or only hers?”
“Don’t say that. I don’t like the way you make that sound. It was our plan.” Her eyes drifted away from his and became fixed on the blank wall. “When you don’t follow the plan, things go wrong. That’s what happened that night. I took a different road—I was just so sick of Isabel being in charge all the time. Planning what we were doing every second of every day. Even down to what we ate.”
Her shoulders started to shake again, her widened eyes turning back to meet his. “Don’t you see what happened? When you stick to the plan, things go fine. But when you don’t...that’s when things go wrong. We would never have been on that road if I hadn’t fought with Isabel. If I’d just gone along with what she’d wanted, everything would have been fine.”
“You don’t know that. You can’t know that.” He touched her cheek. “And would you have liked this job any more if Isabel was working next to you? Or would you still hate it just as much but do a better job at hiding it—all to keep her happy? To stick to the plan?”