Lexi leaned her head against his shoulder as they listened to the tour. There was a young woman next to her, trying to juggle three kids—a baby in a pouch next to her breasts, a toddler strapped into a buggy and a four-year-old who was looking distinctly bored and kept wandering off. The woman looked tired and was struggling to hear what the Yeoman was saying. Lexi touched her arm and gave her a smile. ‘If it’s okay with you, how about I entertain your oldest for a little while?’
The woman nodded and gave her a grateful smile. They were standing on Tower Green. Lexi could walk about freely and still be safely in the mother’s sight.
She walked over and bent down next to the dark-headed little girl. Her heart gave a squeeze. The little girl was gorgeous. Her hair was in bunches and wearing a purple coat. ‘Hi, there. I’m Lexi. How about I tell you some stories about this place?’
The little girl scowled at her. Lexi pointed over at her mother. ‘Your mum says it’s okay.’ She gave her mother a wave. ‘What’s your name.’
‘Lucy.’
Lexi held out her hand. ‘Good. I’m Lexi. Pleased to meet you.’
Lucy gave a sigh. ‘My feet are sore and Damian is in the buggy.’ She rolled her eyes.
Lexi held out her hands. ‘Fancy a carry?’
Lucy’s eyes brightened and she let her herself be lifted into Lexi’s arms. As the tour moved along little by little, Lexi stayed only a few feet away from the mother, whispering in Lucy’s ear and pointing out various things along the way.
Iain watched carefully. Lexi seemed so at ease. She was obviously used to children. She’d already told Iain about her work at the Chinese orphanage and everything she did showed him her natural affinity for children.
A heavy feeling started to descend over him. Lexi was his first step back to a normal life. He’d promised her nothing.
She spun Lucy backwards in her arms, letting her lean back and throw her arms out, imitating the ravens around about them. Their hair flew outwards as they spun, the smiles on their faces completely and utterly spontaneous. Lexi was a natural.
And he didn’t like it.
It was a horrible admission. But Iain hadn’t planned on thinking such thoughts on what he’d wanted to be a nice day out.
But watching Lexi was making him ache. He was wasting his time with her. Here was a woman who had the word ‘mother’ stamped all over her. What would she think when she found out what he’d done? If she’d any sense at all she would run in the other direction.
What woman would want to be with a man who’d persuaded his wife to take the final chance of IVF that had led to her death?
He looked around Tower Green. Families everywhere. Families happy and smiling. And he knew. He knew he could never set foot in a delivery room again. Not after his last experience.
And Lexi would want a family of her own. How could he explain? She was kneeling on the ground with Lucy right now, telling her some long and obviously gory tale by the actions she was doing. Right on cue, Lucy’s mouth formed a wide O. She slapped her hand across her mouth as Lexi let out a peal of laughter.
Right before his eyes was the reason he should stop all this. He could never be the man that she needed.
But Lexi turned and pushed her hat further back on her head. Her blonde hair was sticking out all round and she shot him the most dazzling smile. The Yeoman was reaching the end of the walking tour at the Medieval Tower.
She mouthed over to him, ‘Crown jewels?’
He nodded. She’d already told him it was her favourite part. They joined the queue with Lucy’s mother behind them. She was looking calmer, more relaxed. She leaned over and whispered to the two of them, ‘It’s dark in here, isn’t it? The two little ones will fall asleep as soon as we get inside.’
They queued quietly as Lexi started to whisper stories of secret princesses to Lucy. The inside of the display was dark, surrounded by armed guards, who were happy to talk to the visitors about some of the jewels on display.
Lucy’s little face gaped at the huge glittering Cullianan diamond in the sovereign’s sceptre.
‘I don’t think there is a magical fairy kingdom inside the stone,’ Iain whispered.
‘Shh!’ Lexi put her finger to her lips, ‘Spoilsport,’ she whispered.
They oohed over the Imperial state crown and Lucy was highly disappointed she couldn’t try it on. ‘But I’m a princess too,’ she said huffily.
‘I know you are,’ said Lexi, ‘and I’m sure when we get to the gift shop I’ll be able to buy you a crown of your own.’
And sure enough she did. It was early afternoon by the time they’d finished at the Tower. ‘I’m sorry our afternoon got hijacked,’ she said to Iain as they made their way to the exit.
‘No, you’re not,’ he said, shaking his head. ‘You looked like you were having the time of your life. What stories were you telling her?’
Lexi smiled. ‘Stories about the evil ravens stealing fairies and the fairies fighting back by hiding in the crown jewels.’
‘All totally based on reality, then?’
She nodded solemnly. ‘Based on a four-year-old girl’s reality.’ She tapped the side of her nose. ‘That’s the trick to keeping them quiet.’
‘Well, you certainly managed to master that.’
She smiled up at him as he reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. ‘Let’s go for a walk down to Tower Bridge,’ she said.
Even though it was still cold, the day was bright and sunny. The path down next to the bridge was busy, filled with street acts and various parties on tours. They bought coffee from a street vendor and sat on a bench, people-watching.
Lexi seemed relaxed and happy next to him. If they looked along the river a little they could see Kate’s. ‘Are you going there today?’
Iain nodded. ‘I’ll go in later. I have a few patients to check over. It won’t take long.’
She ran her tongue along her lips. Her hat was sitting in her lap now and her blonde hair was blowing in the breeze. She didn’t seem to mind at all that it was all over the place. In fact, for the daughter of a supermodel, Lexi didn’t seem to care at all about her appearance. She hadn’t looked in a mirror once since they’d met today.
She was gorgeous, of course. But it helped him realise how far down the list she put superficial things. Another plus point for Lexi.
If only that didn’t make him squirm. Because every good point about Lexi made him realise how they couldn’t really be a match. There must be a whole host of guys out there who would want to snatch her up. To admire her beauty, good spirit and work ethic. A hundred guys out there who want to settle down with her and have a family.
She leaned over and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips. There was a kind of glazed look behind her smile. She was squinting at him in the sunshine as she reached up and ran her fingers through his hair.
‘It’s not exactly the usual look, is it?’ she said, tugging at his shaggy hair.
‘What do you mean?’ He was distracted by her lips and blue eyes and only looked up when she gave his hair an extra tug.
‘Most surgeons go for the ultra-short look.’
‘I’m not most surgeons,’ he growled.
‘I get that.’
‘Just imagine me shipwrecked on a mysterious island. This is the natural look for me.’
‘Good, because I like it. It suits you.’ She gave him a cheeky wink. ‘Now, don’t ever cut it. I might go off you.’ She stood up. ‘So, fancy a late dinner at mine?’
She said the words so easily. Probably never expecting him to hesitate. But he did. This was his chance. This was his opportunity to let her spread her wings and fly. To stop any chance of him hurting her. But there was still a little something in her eyes. Still a little lack of confidence.
So he smiled, standing up and taking her hand. ‘I think I can manage that.’ He changed his mind, dropping her hand and wrapping his arm around her shoulder. She was closer this way.
Eventually he would h
ave to let her go.
Eventually he would have to tell her the truth.
Just not right now.
CHAPTER NINE