“If she couldn’t find someone for me, she would send me to apartments where she knew that the men lived alone and make me ask if they wanted company for the night. I learned how to do what she wanted or she would beat me so bad, I couldn’t go outside and play with my friends until I healed. If anyone came to ask about me, she would tell them I was too sick to play.”
“What happened to your mother?” Pastor Dean’s voice was harsh.
“Her boyfriend moved in with us. He was nice for a while. He paid the bills and gave her money to spend. He even bought me my first doll, but she would get mad at him because he wouldn’t give her extra money for her pills, so she would wait until he went to work and sneak men into the apartment.
“One day, he came home early and saw me in bed with a man. Marshall pulled a gun out and made them sit on the bed, and told me to get dressed. I heard him call someone, but I was too scared to listen. He made us all sit there until someone knocked on the door.”
“Who was it?”
“I don’t know. I’d never seen him before, but he was big and scary to me because, when Marshall told him what he’d seen when he came home, he took the gun and killed my mother and the man on my bed.” Lily took a deep breath. “Then he turned to me, asking me if Marshall had ever touched me and when I told him yes, he killed Marshall. He lit a fire on my bed and made me leave with him. I didn’t try to scream; I was too scared.”
“I bet you were,” Pastor Dean said grimly.
“He took me on a long drive. I slept most of the time. When I woke up, I was in Beth’s house and he was gone. Her parents told me they were adopting me and to forget about my mom and the life I had before, so I did. I made myself forget every dirty thing that I had been forced to do. I forgot the men. I forgot my mom. I forgot Marshall. I forgot my sitter who always smelled like chocolate chip cookies. I forgot my friends, Sawyer and Vida, who were like sisters to me. I forgot every single ugly detail of my life until I forgot me.”
Chapter 30
“Lily, look at me.” Lily didn’t want to see the look of disgust she was certain would be on his face.
“Please, look at me.” Lily turned her head to see his face in the darkness. Instead of seeing the disgust she’d expected, she saw compassion and love.
In that second, Lily broke. She cried for the child who had never been a child, for all the years she had spent afraid of her own shadow, and most of all, she cried for a future she was afraid to begin with Shade.
Pastor Dean put his arm around her shoulders, letting her cry until she lay quietly against him.
“I promised myself I wasn’t going to cry anymore,” Lily said, embarrassed at her lapse.
“I think that one was well deserved. That’s why you wanted to become a social worker, isn’t it, to help children like yourself?”
Lily nodded her head. “Yes, I think so.”
“Lily, do you plan on judging children if you find them in situations like you were in?”
“Of course not,” Lily said, shocked that he thought she would.
“When people start coming into the church store tomorrow, are you going to judge them for being in need?”
“No,” she repeated. “They need our help.”
“Yes, they do, like you needed help, and no one was there for you. You chose to survive, Lily. You’re the kindest, most compassionate woman I know, and it’s a true miracle that part of you wasn’t destroyed. As your pastor, I couldn’t be more proud. You make my Sundays worthwhile because, when I look out into my congregation and see your face, I know that God has graced my church with your presence.
“You have done nothing to feel ashamed of. The ones who should be ashamed are the ones that are responsible for hurting you. You don’t have any lessons to learn from me, but I have many to learn from you, Lily, because as God is my witness, I would have killed every single one of the bastards who touched you.”
“Thank you, Pastor.” Lily smiled at him, relieved he hadn’t thought less of her.
“Go on inside. It’s freezing out here. I’ll see you in the morning.”
She stood up, pausing when he didn’t follow. “Aren’t you coming in?”
“In a minute. I want to say a prayer.”
“Would you like me to stay and pray with you?”
“No, you’ve been out here long enough. I won’t be long.”
“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight, Lily.”
* * *
“You don’t deserve her.”
“I know,” Shade said, walking out of the shadows, not taking his eyes off Lily as she walked back toward the clubhouse.
“It’s a good thing they’re all dead or we would be riding tonight.”
“It seems they’re all dead but one,” Shade said thoughtfully, turning to his brother.
Dean frowned at him. “Which one?”
“The one who gave her to Beth’s parents.”
“You think that something from her past may be why someone is trying to kill her?”
“Whoever has been watching her house has been doing it for years. Who else could it be?” Shade said, coming to the only conclusion that made any sense.
“Damn.”
“Talk to Knox, tell him what we found out tonight. I’m going to talk to Beth and see if she remembers anything from when Lily first came to live with them. At this point, any adoption papers, even fake ones, would be a lead.” Shade’s only hope of finding the papers was Beth.
“I’ll talk to him before he leaves tonight.”
“Let’s get inside. I don’t want Lily alone tonight.”
They walked up the path together. Shade was about to go inside when Dean’s hand on his arm stopped him. “Promise me one thing.”
“What?” Shade asked.
“If we find out whoever took her could have stopped that shit, I get him first.”
* * *
Lily wearily climbed into bed, pulling the covers over her as she shivered. The click of the door opening and closing barely drew her notice; she couldn’t stop her teeth from chattering.
The covers were briefly pulled back and Shade’s warm body enveloped hers as he pressed against her back. His arm circled her waist, drawin
g her closer. The covers were pulled over them, wrapping her in a cocoon of warmth.
“Shade?”
“Yes?”
“That day in the diner when I had that panic attack, there was a little girl at one of the tables. What happened?”
“I had left with you, but Knox told me that Diamond had seen you staring at the family. Knox talked to them. The little girl was placed in her grandmother’s custody.”
“It’s funny how things turn out, isn’t it?”
“I don’t think it’s funny at all,” Shade said, pulling her tighter.
“I believe sometimes it’s meant for us to have to bear trials so that we can recognize how to help others.” Lily’s voice grew drowsy.
“Go to sleep.” Shade’s voice was soothing in the darkness. It was then Lily realized the room was encased in darkness. She hadn’t turned the bathroom light on.
Her hand laced through Shade’s, confident he would keep her safe while she slept.
* * *
When Lily beat Rachel to the store in the morning, there was already a line forming outside. Pastor Dean was waiting for her inside. He looked as if he hadn’t slept.
“Are you sick?” Lily asked.
“No. I just woke up this morning with a headache. I’ll be fine as soon as I get my coffee. Rachel’s stopping by the diner before she gets here.”
“Great.” Lily stood by the door, anxious to let the people in. They had already taken applications earlier in the week and had decided how everyone would be allowed to take things they needed, giving each family a limit of store credit based on their financial need.
Rachel maneuvered through the crowd, bringing each person a steaming cup of coffee.
“Are we ready for this?” She grinned when she finally came inside.
“Yes.” Lily was fired up, ready to help those who stood waiting.
“I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.” With that said, Pastor Dean opened the door.
At first, they were nearly overwhelmed by the number of those coming in; however, Lily had organized the paperwork over the last week, and because they were the ones who had stocked the store, they were able to help the customers find the items they needed quickly.