“Have sex with each other,” Lily finished, looking down at her clenched hands, determined not to snap the red band in front of her sister.
“Yes—no. I don’t have sex with the other members,” Beth explained.
“Kaley said to become a member you have to have sex with the original members.” This time her hand snapped the band, despite her promise to herself.
“Yes, but I didn’t. I became a member because several of them felt they owed me a marker or wanted Razer’s vote in the future. Viper gave me his vote when you were hurt in the accident because I didn’t freak out on Ton. Some gave me theirs because I helped solve Gavin’s murder.”
“So you got all your votes that way?” Lily asked.
“No,” her sister admitted quietly.
Lily twisted the band on her wrist tighter. “I don’t need to hear this, Beth.”
“Lily, I just didn’t feel comfortable discussing this with you.”
“I understand.” And Lily did; it was something she was uncomfortable discussing in detail. “It’s hard to talk to someone who freaks out over every little thing.”
“You don’t, sweetheart.” Beth tried to touch her hand, but Lily pulled away.
Lily stared straight ahead, focusing on a tree to her left, not letting her eyes go to the men sitting on their bikes, watching them intently.
“Who are the original members that Kaley was talking about?” Lily asked the question she knew was going to hurt the most.
Beth hesitated, however she answered her low question. “Viper, Cash, Rider, Train, Lucky, Knox, Razer and Shade.”
Unconsciously, Lily’s hand went to the skin over her heart, rubbing the flesh.
“Your husband is one of the men who gives sexual votes to women who enter the club?” Lily couldn’t hide her disbelief that Beth would let Razer have sex with other women.
“He doesn’t vote anymore. He hasn’t since we broke up three years ago.”
“That’s why you broke up?”
“No, we broke up because I thought he had cheated on me with Bliss. He hadn’t.”
“I see. Do Sex Piston and her crew know about The Last Riders?”
“Yes.”
“So, everyone you're close to knew, except me,” Lily stated. “Me, you didn’t tell.”
“No. I didn’t know if you would be able to handle the life I have with Razer. I didn’t want you to think less of me,” Beth confessed.
“Instead, you just shut me out.” Lily gave her sister a sad smile. “I would never have judged you on your sex life, Beth. Because I have hang-ups doesn’t make me believe others should. What hurt me was the deception. You lied to conceal what was going on.” Lily felt tears slide down her cheeks. No, the details didn’t matter, but the lies definitely did. “I’ve never lied to you, ever, and I didn’t think you had to me, either. I’m hurt, but I’ll get over it probably in a few days. You know I never could stay mad for long.” Lily looked at her sister’s pained expression. She didn’t know what else to say, though. It was like her feelings toward Beth were encased in ice. She couldn’t mend her sister’s broken heart when her own was broken.
“All right. Will you at least quit ignoring my texts and calls?”
“Yes.” Lily got to her feet, picking up her backpack.
“Do you want to go get a bite to eat before you go inside?” Beth’s hopeful expression didn’t sway Lily. She didn’t want to be near Shade ever again.
“No, thanks.”
“How about I drive down this weekend and bring your suitcases here? You have to need clothes.”
“I already bought some new ones. You can box up what’s in my room and give them to the church. I have a test on Monday, so this weekend isn’t a good time. I’ll see you for Thanksgiving.”
Without another word, Lily went inside the building, not letting her gaze return to the parking lot. She wanted to run back into her sister’s arms, but she knew she couldn’t. She didn’t trust her anymore.
* * *
Beth watched her sister walk through the doors before she couldn’t hold it back any longer. She buried her face in her hands, heartbroken at the devastation she had caused with her secrecy. Lily was never going to forgive her. She had broken Lily’s faith in her. She could see it in her delicate, pale face.
Lily looked like the wind would blow her away; she looked so fragile.
“Beth, please don’t cry, kitten.” Razer sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms.
“I’ve lost her, Razer. I can see it in her eyes. She’s so hurt. It’s like looking into an open wound.”
“She’ll get over it.”
“No, Razer, she won’t. She thinks I’ve lied and deceived her, and she’s right. I should have told her at least parts of it; she could have taken that. What she can’t accept is the one person she trusted hiding things from her.”
“Did she tell you not to talk to her anymore?”
“No, but she told me to give her clothes away. She’s cutting herself off from me.”
“Then don’t let her,” Shade’s voice came from over Razer’s shoulder. Beth looked back at him.
“She knows everything now, Shade. She knows that Razer and you both are original members. How the women get the votes.”
“She was bound to find out sooner or later. When you, Winter and Diamond found out, was it any less painful? But each of you got over it and moved on. Lily will, too.”
“No, she won’t, Shade. Lily is different. She’ll believe that Razer and you took advantage of the women.”
“That won’t last long when she’s around them,” Shade said ironically.
Beth got to her feet. “You just don’t get it, Shade. She’s cut not only me, but us all from her heart. That’s what Lily does. Lily doesn’t give second chances with her love.”
“No, Beth, it’s you who doesn’t understand. Lily’s not going to be given the choice.”
Chapter 11
Lily walked back to her dorm from her class the next day. Her mind had not been on the class but on Beth’s face. Lily knew the position Beth had been in must have been hard, yet the ice encasing her kept her from reaching out.
Lily stopped, leaning against a tree as a wave of dizziness swept over her. Taking a deep breath, she straightened, just wanting to make it back to her dorm room and crawl in bed. She walked another few feet, seeing her dorm building not far away. Her sole focus was on simply putting one step in front of the other, so she didn’t notice the big truck pull up next to her.
“Get in, Lily.” Lily looked through the passenger window and saw Shade. She didn’t say anything, taking another step forward. “You can either get in or I’ll put you in.” His dark sunglasses did little to hide his harsh expression.
“Go away,” Lily forced herself to talk to him.
She heard the truck door open and Shade get out of the truck, opening the passenger door. “Get in.”
“If you don’t go away, I’ll scream,” Lily threatened.
“Try it and see what I do.” She could tell he meant it.
Lily sighed. If he wanted to talk like Beth, she would listen rather than argue with him on a busy sidewalk. Maybe then, he would leave like Beth and she could be alone again. She climbed into the truck, and Shade slammed the door closed before going around the front of it and getting back inside.
When he put the truck in gear, driving out of the parking lot, Lily didn’t try to talk to him as he drove through the small town. He pulled into a restaurant with a drive-thru, ordering food, and still not a word had been spoken between them.
He didn’t ask what she wanted when placing the order, yet she knew he was ordering the food for her. She was equally surprised when he didn’t pull to the side to eat. Instead, he got back on the road after the large bag of food was given to him.
The aromas coming from it were making Lily nauseous.
“Don’t you dare throw up. Rider will be pissed enough when he sees his truck is gone.”
Lily forced the bile back down.
Shade pulled into the parking lot of the local hotel, stopping in front of a block of rooms. Picking up the bag, he walked to one of the rooms and disappeared inside after unlocking the door. A second later, he was back, opening the door by her side.
“Get out.”
“Quit ordering me around. I’m not going in there.” The words were no sooner out of her mouth than she found herself lifted from the truck. Shade slammed the door closed with his shoulder as she was struggling to get away, and then carried her into the room, slamming that door shut with his foot.
The room was small, but it held two beds, a small table and a dresser with a television. He set her down on one of the chairs by the small, round table in the room. When she would have jumped to her feet, he leaned down, placing a hand on each side of the chair she was sitting in, effectively blocking her in.
“Lily, I am a man with infinite patience, but you are trying me. I advise you to keep your ass on that chair. Do you understand me?”
Lily did. She could hear the threat in his voice.
Shade straightened, going to the other chair and sitting down. He opened the bag, pulling out a small cup of soup and several packs of crackers then set them in front of her with a plastic spoon.
“Eat.”
“Will you please quit ordering me around?” Lily asked again, her voice as cold as ice.
“I’ll think about it.” Shades lips twitched in amusement at her frosty gaze.
Lily took the lid off the soup, and her stomach lurched.
“Eat a cracker first.”
Lily’s trembling fingers tore open a pack of the crackers, removing one. She nibbled on it until her stomach settled then ate another.