Yeah, maybe getting shot has fucked with my brain. Goddamn it!
Julianna wasn’t a stupid rich heiress, like I had expected her to be.
In fact, she was quite smart about politics and business, so, over dinners, we had found a common ground. Other that throwing insults and going for each other’s throats, we had chosen safe topics to talk about.
That was the deal, anyway. Wasn’t it?
Dinner every evening, for thirty nights and we would try to get along. Well, granted that wasn’t a success all the time… but we did get along, well enough that we survived each other’s presence for the last two weeks without strangling each other.
Two weeks in her company and I was starting to see Julianna for someone other than Gracelynn’s killer…
There was just so much heartbreak in her face, so much torment in her eyes – Julianna was already killing herself without me having to. She was self-destructing; her soul practically begging for more pain, more suffering, more despair.
A pretty fucking mess, under the black veil, expensive gowns and beautiful jewelleries.
“I wouldn’t have held it against you if you skipped dinner tonight or tomorrow,” she said. “Shouldn’t you be resting?”
The three flower vases along the length of the table, sitting right in the middle, hid her face from me. I knew she removed her veil while we ate and I knew those vases were placed, in this specific way, for a reason.
I found myself frowning at her words, not exactly sure if she was calling me weak. Did she think that stupid bullet wound could bring me down? “I only got shot, Beasty. You’re acting as if I’m dying.”
“I’m acting like a caring wife,” she informed me, with a slight quiver in her voice.
“Ah, yes.” I nodded. “Playing along. Civil and in love.”
Julianna released a tiny growl and I almost laughed at how non-threatening that sounded. “That’s not it. Why do you keep twisting my words, Killian?” she gritted.
I cut through my steak and shoved a piece in my mouth and waited until I had chewed and swallowed down my food before replying. Because respected gentleman didn’t speak with their mouth full. “Why? Do you want me to think that you actually care?”
She must have heard the taunt in my voice because Julianna dropped her fork with a clank against the porcelain plate. “I’m not heartless. You got shot because of me. Of course, I care!”
My brows pulled up at how affronted she sounded. “Would it matter?”
“What?” my wife hissed.
“Would it matter if I died?” I drawled, enjoying the indignation in her voice. “You’ll finally be rid of me, Beasty.”
That silenced her.
Even with the distance between us, I heard her sharp inhale. I imagined her tortured grey eyes, glassy with heartbreak. For once, I wanted to see her facial expression, instead of having to guess her emotions through her eyes. But her gaze always spoke what she felt. Julianna might have been a good liar, but her eyes never lied.
“You can’t die,” she finally whispered. “You can’t.”
My fingers tightened around my fork at her soft whisper and the cracks in her voice. “You sound quite heartbroken at the thought. You’re a good actress, wife. I’ll give you credit for that. A good actress, sometimes a good liar, but always the villain,” I said coldly.
“There we go,” she snapped, waving a hand between us. “Asshole Killian is at it again. I almost missed him.”
“I knew you’d choose asshole Killian over the gentleman. You really do have a penchant for pain,” I drawled.
“And you really need to take that stick out of your ass.”
“Feeling quite bold today, aren’t you?”
Julianna sighed. “Civil and in love,” she reminded us, her voice softening.
“Civil and in love,” I agreed.
After a few seconds of silence, Julianna spoke again. “Your father said that he’ll be here next week, a few days before the masquerade ball.”
I nodded. “Yes, I know.”
“How many guests are we expecting?”
Once my plate was empty, I pushed it away and placed my elbows over the edge of the table. With my chin over my laced fingers, I regarded the navy and white vase – for Julianna’s face was hidden right behind it.
“Around two hundred,” I surmised thoughtfully. “And these are only the ones that matter.”
“In the public eye,” she amended.
“Exactly.”
“This is important for both our families,” Julianna mumbled and then sighed in what I presumed was anxiousness. “It’s our first event together since our marriage. In fact, it’s the first time we will be seen together since the wedding.”
Since you left me at the altar. Julianna didn’t say it out loud, but nonetheless, I heard her silent accusation. I ignored it.
“They will find your insecurities.” The warning in my voice might have caught her attention because I saw her shoulders pop back and she straightened in her seat. “They will drag your flaws from under your flesh and dig deep into your soul.”