But that didn’t stop her imagining what it might have felt like. And, God, did that bring a bucketload of guilt with it, right there.
Before she’d had time to work her way through half her emotions, they were back at the Azure. She paid up in a daze and walked inside, heading for the lift with Dylan beside her.
‘You okay?’ he asked, as the doors opened.
She nodded, and stepped inside, pressing the button for her floor on autopilot. ‘Fine. So, tomorrow. Meet you in the lobby at ten?’
‘Perfect.’ He leant across her to press the penthouse button as they started to move. ‘Sadie—’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ she said, too fast. ‘It’s all in the past now.’
The lift dinged as it reached her floor, and she stepped towards the doors before they were even open.
Suddenly there was a hand at her waist, spinning her round, and Dylan was closer than she’d imagined, so close she could feel the heat of him.
‘I might be about to be an idiot again,’ he said.
Sadie swallowed, her mouth too dry. God, she wanted it. Wanted to feel his lips on hers, to see what she’d missed all those years ago. But the guilt that filled her had sobered her up and was already moving her feet backwards as the lift doors opened.
‘Goodnight, Dylan.’ She pulled away, stepping out, watching the frustration and fear crossing his face as the doors closed behind him and the lift whisked him away.
CHAPTER SEVEN
DYLAN WOKE UP the next morning to the sound of his phone alarm buzzing, far too early, and his head throbbing in time with the beeps. As if he needed the physical reminder of last night’s exploits to give him a bad feeling about the day ahead.
He fumbled for the phone and switched off the alarm, his poor, tired brain trying to catch up with the day. He had a conference call. He had to deal with Sadie. He really needed a shower.
Deciding that the last might help with the previous two items, he hauled himself out of bed and into the bathroom, thoughts flying at him as fast as the water from the wonderfully powerful showerhead.
If he was feeling bad this morning, chances were that Sadie was feeling worse. And not just physically. He knew her tendency to beat herself up about things that weren’t her fault, or weren’t even all that wrong in the first place, and he had a feeling this morning would be a doozy.
Still, as bad as he felt for making her life more difficult than it already was—or at least more morally and emotionally complicated—he couldn’t help but smile, remembering that for the first time since he’d met her he knew he wasn’t in this alone. Not completely.
Switching off the water, he dried, dressed and managed to make it through the conference call—hopefully without any obvious signs of his hangover or his preoccupation. As he hung up, scribbling a last few notes to himself for later, he checked the clock. Still twenty minutes before he was due to meet Sadie. Should he work, nap or...?
He picked up his phone and hit the familiar key combination to call Neal. Yeah, it was early in Britain, but Neal had always been an early bird anyway. Except after nights out with him and Adem.
‘How’s it going?’ Neal asked, in lieu of an actual greeting. ‘You signed over your life savings to her yet?’
If he thought that would work... ‘Nah. I got her drunk and told her the whole story about you and her corset instead.’
‘Cheers. I’ll look forward to that coming up next time we have a business meeting,’ Neal said. ‘But, seriously, how is she?’
‘Probably hungover but otherwise fine.’ He hoped.
Neal sighed. ‘What did you do?’
‘Nothing.’ Much.
She’d try and pull back now, he could feel it. Try and put that distance they’d crossed last night back between them. Unless he could convince her not to.
‘Although...’ Dylan said, and Neal groaned.
‘Here we go. Tell me.’
‘I might have questioned Adem’s plan for the Azure a bit. It needs updating.’
‘So what? You’re going to stay in Turkey and develop a better one?’ Neal sounded sceptical.
‘I’m going to work with her to develop one before I leave,’ Dylan corrected him. She didn’t have time to pull back. He only had a few more days to help her; they had to keep working. She’d see that, right?
Maybe the best thing was for them both to pretend that last night had never happened, just like last time. At least, once the headache faded.
‘Are you, now?’ Dylan didn’t like the sudden raised interest level in Neal’s voice.
‘I am. What about it?’
‘Just sounds like more involvement than you’d planned on,’ Neal said. ‘A lot more.’
Since Dylan’s original plan had been get in, get out, send Sadie cash afterwards and never have to think about the Azure again, Neal had a point. He hadn’t wanted to torment himself more than necessary by staying in her presence when she was more available than ever but still every bit as untouchable.
But all that had changed with two words. I wondered.
‘She needs more help than I expected,’ Dylan said, hoping his friend would accept the excuse.
‘She needs every bit of help she can get,’ Neal agreed with a sigh. ‘I’m glad you’re there.’
‘So am I.’
Yes, he was still leaving in three days. And, yes, he knew he’d never be Adem, never be the love of Sadie’s life. He wasn’t imagining some perfect golden future for them together or anything.
But just knowing that she’d thought about it—about them—too? Well, that gave him hope.
And sometimes that was all a guy needed to get through the day.
* * *
The first thing Sadie registered when she woke up was her dry mouth. Next came the crushing weight of what felt like a boulder on her chest.
Last night had been everything she’d planned to avoid. How was she supposed to go back to All-Business Sadie after admitting that she’d imagined them together? And for the last twelve years...
After learning he’d tried to kiss her, too.
After almost letting him kiss her last night.
She pulled the pillow over her head and hoped it muffled her agonise
d groan.
And now she had to spend a whole day on the beach with him. In swimwear.
It all just went to prove that there really was a special hell for women who ogled their husband’s best friend.
Escaping from her pillowy cage, she took deep breaths and tried to let the morning air soothe her—and her hangover. She needed to be calm and reasonable about this. As she had been about everything else she’d dealt with since Adem had died. She—and the Azure—needed Dylan. They needed his money, his investment and, much as she hated to admit it, his business brain, too. So she needed to find a way to make this right.
And, hopefully, considerably less awkward.
As she kicked off the covers and contemplated, Rachel’s words from the night before floated back through her distracted brain. In some ways her sister had been right—as usual. Adem wouldn’t want her to be alone or lonely. Which wasn’t to say he’d want her to be rushing into the arms of another man either, but Sadie knew he wouldn’t expect her to be alone forever.
She had, though. For the last two years the very idea of being with someone else had felt completely alien, the sort of thing that could only happen to other people. Adem had been the love of her life. Where was there to go from there really?
But last night, for the first time, the idea of moving on had seemed like a possibility. The thought of kissing another man had, for once, not filled her with revulsion or even confusion.
She’d wanted to kiss Dylan. And that was absolutely terrifying.
Because even if she was ready to maybe think about possibly moving on and perhaps just thinking about dating again, Dylan Jacobs was not the man to move on with.
If she had been after a fling or a one-night stand, something to get her back in the dating game, then maybe. But she wasn’t a one-night stand sort of girl, never had been. And now...she had responsibilities. Commitments that had to come before a little personal pleasure.
She had Finn.
She wouldn’t be another notch on Dylan’s bedpost—and with a guy like Dylan she knew that was all she could ever be.