ome.’
And suddenly, sitting in the moonlight, talking about someone else’s child, Jude realised he knew exactly how she felt.
Only, for him, home wasn’t a place.
It was a person.
CHAPTER TEN
ALMOST THERE.
Just over twenty-four hours now until the wedding, and Rosa had ticked off the last of the day’s jobs on her accursed clipboard. The groom and his family had arrived, and the Spanish-style lunch they’d arranged for the whole wedding party had been a huge success. Four courses over several hours followed by much-needed siestas had made the perfect introduction to the island, and Anna and Rosa had planned for beach games and a much more informal supper to be served at the beach later that evening. The informal evening would not only be fun, but crucially it gave the island staff plenty of time to prepare for the next day, when another hundred guests were due to arrive, and for the wedding ceremony itself, which would begin at seven o’clock tomorrow night.
Rosa had to admit, Anna had pulled off a near miracle. The island looked perfect. Every bungalow was ready and—thanks to her and Jude—every tree had fairy lights threaded through it, and the pagoda and central area were set up for the ceremony and party. Anna had confirmed that Valentina’s dress had arrived that day, escorted by a dressmaker who would stay until Valentina was dressed, and last time Rosa had checked in on the kitchens Sancia had been harassing the chefs from Barcelona who were setting up. Fortunately her mother was easily distracted, and the chefs seemed to be working remarkably amicably with the island’s own cooks.
Valentina glowed with happiness, her groom’s wealthy parents were happy, and the bridesmaids—except for Sylvie—full of nothing but praise.
In summary, they were ready. Which meant Rosa was officially free to pursue her own interests for the rest of the evening—namely, Jude.
At least, she was once she’d reported in to her lord and master, Anna.
Rosa smiled to herself as she made her way up the path to the main villa. Actually, things between her and her sister were better than they had been in years—since before their mother left, even. Rosa had managed to get Anna alone the day before and get the full story from her. Yes, she was pregnant. No, she wasn’t marrying Leo and living happily ever after. But she seemed content, all the same. As if the life within her had settled her—given her a focus that mattered to her, rather than keeping other people satisfied, as she seemed to with her work, or looking after their father.
Part of Rosa worried that Anna was just getting tied down in a new way, but the more reasonable part of her knew that this was different. A baby was different, especially for Anna.
But she couldn’t stop remembering those terrifying weeks when she’d believed she might be pregnant with Jude’s child. Then, at twenty-three, it had felt like the end of the world—a shackle on her life before she’d even figured out how she wanted to live it.
Now, three years and an awful lot of experience on, she wondered if it might feel different.
Not that she intended to find out. She had plans, still. Life still to live, adventures still to have.
When she’d left him, and La Isla Marina, and everything else behind last time it had been to find her life. The one no one else in the world could live but her. The person she was meant to be, even. And, over the last three years, she’d found it. She had a career she loved, that fulfilled her—and allowed her to keep moving, to experience new places and cultures and lives. She met more people from more different walks of life in a month than many people met in their whole existence. She never had to slow down to wait for someone else to catch up, never had to modulate her expectations or her impulses to satisfy someone else. She could be exactly who she was, without judgement. Or at least, without hanging around long enough to hear or care about any judgement anyone passed on her choices.
She had exactly what she’d wanted. Yes, it could be lonely, occasionally. But the benefits outweighed the negatives, right? And if, sometimes, she wondered if it was enough, well, as long as she kept moving she could push those thoughts aside. She didn’t want what Anna seemed to—to settle down in one place and live one life with one man. And even then, Leo didn’t seem as if he was going to give Anna her happy ever after. If St Anna couldn’t make love work, what hope was there for her screw-up little sister?
And besides, even if Rosa and Jude had that sort of relationship—the for ever kind—she couldn’t live his life. She couldn’t smile politely at self-important celebrities and people trying to tell her what to do. She wasn’t that person.
Jude, surprisingly, seemed to be. She’d thought he’d be raging against the requirements and constraints, but it seemed that he liked the fame more than he liked the freedom. Or maybe he just stuck with it for the sake of Gareth’s memory. Out of guilt for the promise he broke.
Whatever his reasons, Rosa was never going to be that way. She couldn’t be that woman he needed by his side, always.
Even if she wanted to be.
The villa was lit up with tiny lanterns, bright spots in the darkness illuminating the happiness and love that filled the island for Valentina’s wedding. Rosa wished some of it could spread to Anna and Leo, but she knew that if it didn’t, Anna would be okay. She was strong, and she could organise her way out of any situation.
Anna would be fine.
Rosa stepped through into the courtyard, and saw her sister bending to kiss her parents, one at a time. Which was unusual on many levels. Firstly, Anna wasn’t a usually demonstrative person that way, and Rosa knew she didn’t intend to tell their parents about the pregnancy until after the wedding, so it couldn’t be that. Add in the ongoing weirdness of their estranged parents apparently spending all their time together again, after ten years apart, and Rosa was just baffled. What had happened to her dysfunctional, tension-inducing family? At least she knew what to expect from them. The new dynamics just confused her. Where was she supposed to fit in? Or maybe she wasn’t. After all, she’d be gone again soon, and they could all carry on without her, in Oxford and Spain. Rosa knew when she wasn’t needed.
She raised an eyebrow at Anna. ‘It all looks very cosy in here—everything all right?’
‘Everything’s good,’ Anna said. ‘I was just discussing the possibility of staying on the island. After all, it’s never been one person’s job to run it before.’
Rosa’s eyes widened, a hundred questions jostling for attention in her mind while she tried—and failed—to choose one. ‘But... Oxford...? Book...? Dad...? Here?’
‘Quite,’ Anna said enigmatically. ‘Did you put the volleyball net up, Rosa? Don’t worry, I’ll go. I could do with some fresh air.’
And then she was gone, before Rosa could confirm that, yes, actually, she had put the net up. And also, what the hell?
Anna, staying on La Isla Marina, with their mother—and possibly their father, given how things were going—and her baby.
Anna, who for the last decade had focussed on exactly the same sort of academic success that had driven their father for so long—and driven their parents apart.
Maybe this was proof that people could change, after all. And for some reason, it made Rosa incredibly uncomfortable.
If Anna could change, did that mean she could? More to the point, that she should?
No. Rosa had fought too hard to be exactly who she was to give it up now.
‘I’m going to go and help her,’ Rosa said, but her parents weren’t even listening. They were lost in their own conversation.
Rosa walked back out onto the island proper and sucked in a deep breath. Anna didn’t need her help, because there was nothing to help with. Everything was done and ready, and the staff they had in place would be running the events perfectly. If Anna was there, she didn’t need Rosa’s help.
So she turned away from the public areas and all the fun wedding events, and headed down th
e path towards Jude’s bungalow by the sea, hoping she could lose herself in his arms for a while, and forget all the questions buzzing in her head.
* * *
Jude was sitting at the patio table when she arrived, his guitar resting on his knee as he noted something down in the brown leather notebook on the table.
Rosa leant against the wall of the bungalow and watched him as he picked out a melody on the strings, before stopping to write down something else. He was so handsome. Beautiful, even, in a way she’d never imagined a man could be. If she had her camera with her, she’d frame him against the night sky, the fairy lights behind him, highlighting the planes and shadows of that beautiful face.
It seemed strange now, to remember that he hadn’t always been the star. The frontman of The Swifts, taking all the praise and glory. When he’d been in Gareth’s shadow, others had barely even seemed to notice him.
But to Rosa, Jude had always been that bright, shining star in the darkness.
‘Working?’ she asked, softly, so as not to startle him.
Jude looked up and smiled. ‘Playing, really.’
He strummed the melody again, carrying on for longer this time, the music almost familiar somehow.
‘Do I know that one?’ she asked, slipping into the seat opposite him.
‘Parts of it, probably,’ Jude admitted. ‘It’s a variation on a theme—I’m playing around with some of the local music here.’
‘For the new album?’
Jude shook his head, looking down at the strings so his dark hair fell across his forehead. ‘Just for me, really. I doubt the rest of the band would think this fitted with our brand.’
‘Brand?’ Rosa pulled a face. It always came back to that for him, it seemed. Trying to fit into a mould that he’d outgrown, even if he didn’t realise it. ‘Can’t you just play the music you like?’
‘Apparently not. At least, not back in New York. Here, however...’ He strummed the strings again, making Rosa smile.
‘Play me a song. One just for me.’
‘Sure.’ As he started to play Rosa stood up and made her way through the open patio doors into the bungalow bedroom, stripping her dress from her body as she went. The music stuttered for a second, then continued, Jude lifting his voice to join it, singing of beauty and life and water and sun.