‘I wanted to talk it all through with Felix before I approached my mother. I figured that he’d be as horrified as I was, that we could work through it together. But when I told him...there was no surprise behind his eyes. He turned pale, and, as I studied him, suddenly I could see all the signs I’d missed for so many years. He has our father’s eyes, you know, if not his hair. And a certain look, sometimes, that’s so like him...’ Jasper shuddered. ‘Anyway. I realised almost instantly that he already knew. I demanded to know when he found out, how long he’d been keeping it from me...that was the worst part, in lots of ways. The idea that my father and my best friend, two of the people who mattered most to me in the whole world, had been lying to me for so long. And I’d never even known...’
Tori let go of his hand and gripped the base of the bench, not looking at him as she asked, ‘How long had he known?’
‘Since his mother died. She knew how ill she was, couldn’t leave him without ensuring he knew the truth. I guess she didn’t trust my father to tell him, understandably.’
Felix had gone so completely off the rails after his mother’s death. At the time, they’d all thought it was just the grief. But once Jasper had found out the truth, it all made so much more sense.
‘So he knew for years before you did,’ Tori said, thoughtfully. ‘I can see how that would have hurt.’
Hurt seemed like such a small word for it. ‘It was like I suddenly couldn’t trust the whole world around me. Like my senses might be lying to me and up might actually be down. Nothing was the way I thought it was. I mean, I idolised my father, and I trusted Felix more than anyone, and suddenly neither of those things were true any longer.’
‘What about your mother?’
Jasper stared down at his hands. ‘I still don’t know how much she actually knows. That’s why I came back. Knowing Mum...even if she suspected something she’d pretend she didn’t. You know what she’s like.’ Happy living in her own world, and stubborn enough to refuse to see anything beyond it. Even if hers was a world built entirely on lies and secrets. ‘I suspect she’d prefer not to know the truth, to be honest.’ That was how she’d always been. Jasper had learned young how to deal with her, and he’d stuck to those lessons even when his world had fallen apart.
‘So you’ve never spoken to her about it?’
‘No. But I’m going to have to. If my father publicly legitimises Felix the papers will grab that story and run with it—they always do. And then...’
‘The whole world will know.’ Tori pulled a face. ‘Okay, I see why you came home. What I still don’t get is why it meant you had to trash my meeting with your father.’
* * *
Okay, so one meeting probably wasn’t the most important thing in the context of this conversation, but it was the piece of the puzzle Tori still didn’t have, and she hated not knowing things that impacted her life and work.
If she’d realised exactly what was going on with Tyler sooner, maybe she’d have been able to stop it. Or maybe she wouldn’t. But at least she’d have been working with all the facts. Instead, she’d assumed he was guilt-tripping her, when he’d told her he didn’t know what he’d do without her. She’d never imagined that he’d actually meant that, without her there to keep him in check, he’d act out every stupid thing that passed through his head. And by the time she’d realised just how far he’d go, it was far too late.
Her heart ached for Jasper, so betrayed and alone. At the back of her mind she’d always wondered if him leaving had had anything to do with her, with that night they’d spent together. Now she knew he’d had far bigger worries than an ill-advised one-night stand. He wouldn’t have been thinking about her at all.
Which, oddly, didn’t make her feel as better as she’d imagined it would.
‘Stonebury Hall,’ Jasper said, with a sigh. ‘I insisted on coming to look at it with you because I think it would be perfect for Mum. Somewhere she can ride out the media storm, get away from my father, and be safe.’
‘All those battlements,’ Tori mused. He wasn’t wrong. Stonebury Hall was definitely a good place to hide out and take cover. But she couldn’t help but think there was a better plan in there somewhere. If they worked together...
‘Exactly. I want her safe.’
‘But she wouldn’t like it to look as if she was running and hiding.’ Tori didn’t know Lady Flaxstone very well, but from the comments she’d heard over the years she knew that her reputation was important to her. She wouldn’t want people to think a scandal had driven her into hiding, even if it had.
‘I know.’ Jasper sounded frustrated. ‘But if she’s here, facing down the press at the door, or on the phone, the whole circus... We went through that once before, you know. When Father was involved in a business deal with an old friend that turned out to be incredibly ill-advised.’ Tori knew the deal he meant. ‘Ill-advised’ might be the understatement of the century.
‘How did your mother take it?’
‘Badly,’ Jasper said, flatly. ‘Very badly. It didn’t fit her perfect world view that she’d created, but she couldn’t ignore it either, so she couldn’t cope. She basically took to her bed for months, and that wasn’t even personally connected to her, really. This? I’m worried it will break her.’
‘So we get her out of here and up to Stonebury,’ Tori agreed. ‘But how about we give her a reason to be there, and a team to support her?’
Jasper frowned at her. ‘How do you mean?’
The idea was coming together in her head now, so quickly Tori wondered how she hadn’t seen it straight off. ‘You’re right that the main house at Stonebury is more like a home. So, you move in there with your mother to start with, get her set up with a trusted manager and assistants. Then when she’s settled, you can head back to the States and your real life.’ Tori pushed aside the tug on her heart as she mentioned him leaving. She almost wanted to offer to go, look after his mother herself, but she knew that the final decision on staffing, and particularly her assignments, would lie with the earl. ‘But she’s not just hiding out. The team are developing the barns and outbuildings—not to mention that fantastic old stable block—to provide spaces for craft workshops and stalls, a café, maybe a little farm shop. It can be named after your mother or something, give her a real connection to the place.’
Jasper stared at her in amazement. ‘That might...actually work. Why didn’t I think of that?’
‘Because you were scared, and too focussed on your immediate problem,’ Tori replied promptly.
‘I wouldn’t say scared, exactly...’ Jasper rolled his eyes. ‘Fine. Maybe a little. Okay, so, we have a plan. How do we convince the earl?’
‘We work up a killer proposal,’ Tori said. ‘Together.’
Suddenly, Jasper seemed very close, although neither of them had moved. Maybe it was the way his eyes seemed to grow warmer, as if he was looking deeper inside her. Or perhaps it was the soft smile that flickered around his lips. ‘You think you can stand being stuck with me a little longer, then? While we work on the proposal, I mean.’
That wasn’t all he meant. Tori could see the truth in his eyes.
He was thinking about last night. About that kiss.
And she had to admit, so was she.
God, I want to kiss him again.
‘I think I could just about bear it,’ she said, unable to tear her gaze away from his. Her mouth was dry, her throat too tight, and despite the snow and ice her face felt glowing warm.
‘Who knows?’ Jasper said, leaning in just a little closer. ‘Maybe you’ll even come to enjoy it.’
‘I suppose miracles do happen,’ Tori replied.
Even if she’d never believed in miracles before. Suddenly this one felt inevitable.
CHAPTER NINE
‘I CAN’T STARE at this thing any more.’ Frustration oozed from Tori’s very being.
Jasper put down the latest research he was reading—printed out, because if he had to stare at a screen for another moment his eyes might fall out—and studied her instead. It was a much more attractive prospect, anyway.