Just the thought of it made Molly’s heart clench, and her mind fill with Jake again. Not that that was much of a surprise. Almost everything did.
“I don’t think I’m going to make any this year.” After all, look how badly last year’s had turned out.
“Of course you are. Sit down, Moll.” Tim pointed at the opposite bed and, screwing her mascara wand back into the tube, Molly did as she was told.
How much did Tim know? He’d been strangely… nice to her, since Jake left. Molly had a strong suspicion that Dory might have got to him.
“Okay, I’ll start,” Dory said, taking the pen and notebook from Tim. “This year, I resolve not to become an utter bridezilla, but to plan a brilliant wedding that Lucas and I will remember for the rest of our lives.”
Molly pulled a face. Making resolutions was easy when you had your life all sorted, obviously.
“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Tim said. “The bridezilla bit, I mean. I’m sure you’ll have the rest perfectly in hand as always. Now give that here.”
Resting the notebook on his bent knee, he sucked on the end of the pen as he thought. “I resolve to… what do I resolve to do, Dory?”
Dory rolled her eyes. “I don’t know! Um, make the most of your new life in Switzerland and find a girlfriend?”
“Works for me.” Tim shrugged and wrote it down. “And I resolve to have a dry January. Let my liver recover from all this mulled wine.” He tossed the pad and pen at Molly. “Your turn.”
“I told you. I’m not making any. I’m taking my clean sweep of resolutions from this year and declaring myself done with them.”
“Clean sweep?” Tim asked. “What were your resolutions last year?”
Molly squirmed. “You know. Get a nine to five job. Move to London.”
“Sleep with Jake,” Dory added.
“Dory!” It came out as a squeal. How could she? Just what she didn’t want Tim to know.
Except… Tim was laughing. “Why are you laughing?”
“Because I can’t believe you made sleeping with my best friend an honest to God resolution,” Tim said, between sniggers. “Couldn’t you just get him drunk and drag him to bed like a normal person?”
“I thought… you said…” Molly gave up trying to find the words. He knew what she meant.
“Well, I’m not saying I’m over the moon about it,” Tim said, sobering up. “But Dory tells me it’s not just another one-night stand, at least on his part. She might also have mentioned something about you being a grown up now, but I’m not sure I believe that.”
“You should,” Molly said, absently. Tim had a point. Making sleeping with Jake a resolution? That was childish. Well, adolescent, at least. Figuring out where they went from here; that would be the grown up thing to do.
Even if she just wanted to run away to London and try to pretend nothing ever happened.
“To be honest, I’m more worried about you breaking his delicate little heart,” Tim said. “I mean, you’ve already ruined my plans for spending my last week in Britain in the pub with my best mate. So what I want to know is, what are you going to do about it?”
“I got us into this mess,” Molly said. “So I’ll get us out.” Jake might have ignored her texts last year, and avoided her – which was not the most grown up behaviour either. But she was the one who’d pushed and pushed to get what she wanted, without thinking beyond New Year’s Eve. And here she was, on the brink of a new year, and she still didn’t have a plan for what was going to have next.
Perhaps it was time to make one.
Molly picked up the pen. “I resolve to make decisions based on what’s best for me, my future, and the people I love. Not what I think other people want, or what other people tell me I’m supposed to want.”
“To thine ownself be true,” Dory quoted softly. “Sounds like a plan.”
Molly nodded, and wrote it down. “And I’m starting this resolution a few hours early.”
-
Jake could hear the music long before he knocked on the front door of the Mackenzie’s house. The Waitresses were blaring out of the Tim’s iPod speakers, which he assumed meant that Molly had taken control of the playlist. She had an unholy love for that song.
He took a breath to steel himself for the thought of Molly. Of his last conversation with her on this step. He’d been haunted by her memory for the last five days, and now he had to face her again. He’d done everything he could – given her time and space to think about them and the things he’d said.
Now he had to find out her decision. And he really wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Glen said she’d been miserable without him, but was that just guilt? And even if she decided she wanted to try a relationship between them, he was under no illusions about the difficulty of maintaining a long distance relationship.
The door opened, revealing Philippa in her best red sequinned frock. “You came! Oh Jake, I’m so pleased. Come in, come in. Everyone is in the front room – Dory and Lucas are opening engagement cards and presents.”
“Right. I brought them something…” He started to hold up the bottle of Prosecco with ribbon around it, but then he spotted Molly standing at the foot of the stairs, her auburn hair loose around her beautiful face.
“I’ll put it to chill,” Philippa said, taking the bottle and disappearing into the kitchen.
“I thought you weren’t coming,” Molly said after a long moment in which they just stared at each other stupidly.
“I said I’d be here,” Jake reminded her. “Besides, I had a visit from your dad. Made it clear I was expected.”
Moll
y winced. “Warning you away from his little girl?”
“No.” Quite the opposite, in fact. Jake stepped closer, wanting to touch her but knowing he couldn’t, not just yet. Not until he knew her decision. “He told me you were an adult, capable of making your own choices.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened in surprise. “Dory told Tim the same thing.”
“Tim knows?” Because Glen being okay with it was one thing. Tim was a whole other issue.
“He laughed. A lot.” She gave a little half shrug. “I think he’s decided I’m not good enough for you now, instead.”
“Never happen. He’s your big brother. No one will ever be good enough for you.”
“What else did Dad say?” Molly leaned back against the bottom of the banister, her arms folded across her middle. It made the drapey tunic dress thing she was wearing ride up a little, and Jake had to focus on not staring at her legs.
She really did have incredible legs.
“Uh, a few things,” Jake said, trying to get his mind back on track. “That I’d always have a place here, for one. Whatever happens.” Maybe later, or one day, he’d share the whole conversation with her. But tonight, they had more important things to talk about.
“That’s… that’s good.” Molly took a breath, held it, then blew it out again without speaking.
“You’ve made a decision,” Jake guessed. “One you don’t think I’m going to like.”
Molly looked up at him, her pale green eyes looking wider than ever fringed with thick black lashes. “I didn’t make a decision. I made a new resolution.”
Oh good. Because that wasn’t what had got them into this mess in the first place, or anything.
But it was her turn to be the grown up. His turn to listen. So he said, “Tell me.”
-
Molly’s heart was beating too quickly as she stepped closer, as though she had a phone on vibrate inside her ribcage. She wanted to touch him, to feel his solidity under her hands, just to prove to herself that he really had come back. He’d given her a chance to make things right between them.