she’d ever heard. What were they supposed to do, agree on everything? Never disagree? That didn’t make any sense.
She was getting ready to tell him as much when someone knocked on the door. Thankful for the diversion, she looked that way expectantly to see who it was and grinned as Andie and Fulton walked in.
“Hey,” Andie said. “Look who’s up.”
“Hi, Mariela.” Fulton set down a vase of light pink roses. “We picked these up for you.”
“They’re gorgeous. Aren’t they gorgeous, Lennox?” Mariela waved to the couple. “Come on in. Fulton, give those to Lennox so he can find a spot for them. It’ll be the first useful thing he’s done all day.”
Andie and Fulton exchanged a look, obviously picking up on the tension between the two of them.
“Um,” Fulton said. “We can come back later if now’s not a good time.”
“That might be for the best,” Lennox said.
“Absolutely not,” Mariela insisted. “Now is perfectly fine. Don’t listen to him. In fact, Fulton, why don’t you take Lennox out for coffee or something, so Andie and I can have some time for girl talk.”
Lennox looked none too pleased with her suggestion and that was just fine by her. She was the patient, and if he didn’t go with Fulton, she’d kick him out or have a nurse do it for her. She was tired of his attitude. Tired of his self-imposed martyrdom.
Andie glanced at Fulton, obviously searching for some guidance.
He nodded. “Come on, boss. Let’s go find some coffee.”
Lennox stood to leave. “I’ll be back, Marie, and we’ll finish this conversation.”
You bet your ass we will. But she didn’t say that. Instead she smiled and told the men to take their time. It wasn’t until they’d both left the room that she felt she could relax.
Andie sat down in the seat Lennox had recently vacated. “Whew. What was that about?”
Mariela waved as if shooing a bothersome fly. “Nothing. Just Lennox being himself.”
“It sure didn’t look like nothing.”
“I’m just tired of his shit. The way he acts like everything’s his fault.” She took a deep breath, needing to calm down. The last thing she wanted was to get herself worked up. The hospital would probably kick out all her visitors.
“He blames himself for your accident, doesn’t he?”
“Yes, and it’s completely ridiculous.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
Not really. But she had to talk to someone about what happened. “I went to the cottage, I knew he’d go there when he left the island. And we . . .” She closed her eyes. She hadn’t yet had the time to process last night and everything about it still felt raw and tender. She sighed and Andie placed a hand on top of hers. “It was wonderful. Incredible. It was everything I’d imagined and fantasized about and so much more.”
And then they’d woken up the next morning and it was back to the same old treatment from him. She looked away from Andie, not wanting to see the pity she knew would be there when she told her what happened next.
“This morning, he acted like it was nothing. Nothing.” Mariela swallowed. “I should have known and expected it, but it surprised me and we had a horrible argument.”
“Just like Winnie.”
Mariela nodded. “Very much like Winnie. You know about my leg.”
Andie nodded.
“He thinks it’s his fault because we argued.”
“What does he think? That no one should ever argue?”
“I guess. Or at least he shouldn’t.”
Andie didn’t say anything.
“Seems as if no matter what, plan or no plan, Lennox and I are doomed for failure,” Mariela said.
“I wouldn’t look at it like that,” Andie said. “You’re not a failure.”
“I don’t see how you can call it anything else. I mean, seriously, he’s acting like it never happened and I have a busted leg? It doesn’t get much more of a failure than that.”
Andie shook her head. “I think you’re looking at it the wrong way.”
Mariela just gave her an are you kidding me with this look. Because, really?
But Andie was determined she was correct. “You and Lennox had an amazing night, right?”
Mariela nodded.
“That in and of itself is progress.”
“I would be more likely to agree with you if he didn’t act as though the whole thing never happened.”
“That’s what I mean,” Andie said. “He’s acting like that because he hasn’t processed the new development yet, and until he does, it’s safer for him to shove it in the ‘not yet’ box in his brain.”
Mariela decided Andie had lost it. “And you think once he’s processed it, he’s going to profess his undying love?”
“Nope, I still think he’s going to shove it to the ‘not yet’ part of his brain.”
“What good does that do me?”
“It’s up to you to get that night out of the ‘not yet’ box and in the ‘I can’t live without this’ box.”
“I’m not even sure he has an ‘I can’t live without this’ box.”
“Trust me. He does.”
Mariela yawned. “I’ll have to try to locate it.”
“I should let you rest. All this talking and planning can’t be calming you down. And I promised the charge nurse that I wouldn’t overexcite you.”
“Trust me, if being in the same room with Lennox didn’t overexcite me and send my bp through the roof, talking to you won’t either.”
“I believe you, but just to be safe, let’s talk about something else.” Andie reached into her bag. “I brought you some of my homemade granola and some superfood powder you can add to water. Hospital food is pathetically devoid of necessary nutrition.”
“Thank you,” Mariela said as Andie placed the items on a free shelf in the tiny hospital room closet.
“When do you start PT?”
“I’m not sure, I haven’t even spoken to a doctor yet.”
“I heard Lennox tell Fulton they were going to stop by the nurses’ station on the way to get coffee. Maybe they’ll ask for your doctor to come by.”
With all that had been going on with Lennox and then Fulton and Andie coming by, Mariela had pushed anything having to do with her leg to the side. But she couldn’t get rid of it completely, and every time she thought about it, a chill took over her body. What if the injury was worse than they thought and she never walked again? How could she live if she didn’t dance?
Dance was such a big part of her life. It was like breathing. She couldn’t separate herself from breathing, she doubted she could remove herself from dance either. She was a dancer. Without dance, who was she? Would she even recognize herself?
Unbidden, hot tears ran down her cheeks.
“Mariela?” Andie asked.
“What if I never walk again? And can’t dance?” Mariela asked. “How can I go on?”