twisted car in the road. Which looked exactly like Marie’s car.
He pulled off the road and stumbled out of his car. His hands trembled so badly he dropped his keys. Leaving them in the dirt, he nearly tripped in his haste to get to the car. “Marie!”
A uniformed officer held him back. “Give them space to work, sir.”
Lennox watched in horror as the first responders worked before him and his whole world collapsed when they moved out of the way and he caught a glimpse of the unresponsive driver.
WINNIE’S JOURNAL
Lennox has been training me for a few weeks now. He says I’m doing really well. I think I’m doing excellent seeing as how I’m not really a sub. Of course, I can’t tell him that. I’ll admit, some parts of it are really hot and as it turns out, Lennox likes to talk dirty. Who knew?
Sometimes I think I’ll come just from hearing him talk. I can’t, though. He has this silly rule that I can’t have an orgasm without his permission. He has to grant me permission before I’m allowed to climax and the worst part is, he says it’s not just while we’re together in bed or wherever. I’m not allowed to climax anytime without his permission. Even alone in my bed at home.
That’s beyond fucked up if you ask me. But sometimes, okay a lot of the time if I’m being honest, I think it’s worth it. I just wonder if I can keep this up long term?
CHAPTER
Eight
Mariela was walking through the woods and it made her feel sick because she knew she was on the mainland and not the island. She turned around, trying to find a way out, but the trees were so thick and tall, they made everything look the same. Her chest grew tight and she felt a bit panicky because the light was fading and it would grow dark soon.
She searched frantically for a path or anything that would lead her out of the woods and to the water. It was close, she felt it. Now all she had to do was find it. The first thing she had to do was calm down, she told herself, so she stopped, closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths.
“You won’t find your way out with your eyes closed.”
It sounded like . . . but it couldn’t be. Mariela spun around.
“Surprise.” Winnie sat on a rock, her legs crossed and a big smile on her face.
Mariela screamed.
Winnie’s smile disappeared and in a flash too quick to see, she moved from the rock to stand directly in front of Mariela.
“Stop it,” Winnie said. “Don’t do that.”
Mariela nodded and forced herself to stop screaming, but it took several tries before she could get any words out. “You’re . . . here and now I’m here . . . am I . . . oh shit.” Everything grew fuzzy and she felt the earth tilt.
Winnie slapped her. “Don’t pass out on me. And no, you’re not dead. You can say it, you know. I’m well aware of what I am.”
“Why am I here?” Mariela wasn’t sure she believed her. After all, she’d always thought if you saw dead people, you were also dead. That’s the way it should work anyway.
“I’m guessing you did something stupid and now you need advice.”
“You’re going to give me advice?” Mariela laughed. “That’s funny. You were always the one asking me for advice.”
“I know, right? Isn’t it funny how the universe works? It took dying for me to get smart.”
Mariela sobered up. She was standing with her best friend, the woman who was like a sister to her. She’d never thought to see her again and suddenly her eyes prickled with tears. “It is you. I’ve missed you so much. Can I hug you?”
“Better not. Now come over here and sit down. We’ve got a lot to go over and not much time. You have to find your way out before dark.”
“What happens at dark?”
“Don’t ask.”
“I just did.”
Winnie sighed. “I turn into a pumpkin, okay? Now sit.”
Mariela sat on the rock Winnie had recently vacated.
“First of all,” Winnie said. “You have got to cut Lennox some slack.”
“What?”
“He’s grieving. I’m hard to get over.”
“I don’t mean any disrespect, but seriously? You’ve been gone for three years.”
Winnie laughed. “You still have it, I see. He hasn’t killed your spirit yet. That’s good, because he’s a hardheaded one.”
“What are you talking about?”
“The way you tell it like it is. He needs someone like you, he just hasn’t accepted it yet.”
Mariela knew she should feel uncomfortable talking to her dead best friend about her old lover. However, she figured it was completely ludicrous to be talking to her dead best friend anyway, so the topic of conversation really didn’t matter.
“If you’re talking about Lennox,” Mariela said, “it’s never going to happen with us. I’ve tried. We don’t work.”
“And here I thought you’d have a little bit more spunk.”
“Pining after Lennox zapped the spunk right out of me.”
“I’m sorry I took him away from you,” Winnie whispered. “I shouldn’t have gone after him. You were better suited for him. Still are.”
“But he loved you. And you were right, he’s still grieving. I don’t think he’ll ever get over you.”
“He’s not grieving me. He’s grieving who he thought I was.”
“What do you mean?”
Winnie looked at her in shock. “You don’t know? I can’t believe he hasn’t told you.”
“Told me what?”
“I should probably let him tell you, but I guess I can at least tell you my side.”
None of this made any sense to Mariela. Not why she was dreaming about this—at least she thought it was a dream—not why Winnie was here. And especially not what she was talking about.
“You were always the submissive. Remember that night we met Lennox? You knew who and what he was, but you’d never talked with him. I, on the other hand, took one look at him and I said, “He’s mine,” and I didn’t care that you wanted him, too, or that you could actually offer what he needed. I was young and so damn sure of myself. I thought I could make myself a submissive.”
Mariela found it hard to breathe. Winnie wasn’t submissive? What?
“Lennox knew right away that I didn’t know what I was doing, but I begged him to train me and I eventually wore him down.”
“I had no idea.”
“Of course you didn’t. Did you think I was going to confess to you that I was only pretending to be kinky so I could have Lennox? I’m not proud of the way I treated him. I was awful. Especially toward the end. And especially on . . . that day.”
Things started to fall into place for Mariela. All the things he’d said or done suddenly took on new meaning. Why he didn’t want to scene. Why he pushed her away. Why he carried the guilt of Winnie’s death.
“That’s why he opened the academy,” Mariela said with a gasp. “That’s what he meant when he said it was his penitence.”
“Yes, and he’s done a fantastic job with it, but it’s time for him to move on. And he should do it with you.”
“By move on, you mean leave the academy?”
“Whatever it takes. I’ll leave that up to you.”
Mariela snorted. “Right, because he’s going to listen to anything I say. I’m the very last person he’ll listen to. He’s not the man he was.”
“You’ll be surprised. He values you and your opinion more than he lets on. And who he is hasn’t changed, he’s still the same, just with a new perspective on things.”
Mariela decided it wouldn’t be polite to tell Winnie she was batshit crazy. In fact, the only thing that was more ludicrous was the possibility of Lennox leaving the academy.
“He needs to put the past away and you’re the only one who can help, because you know what he’s gone through. If that means he needs to work somewhere else, help him find something. He’s too good of a man to wither away into nothing and he’s too much of a Dominant to live
without a strong submissive.” She stood up. “Be kind to him, Marie, and you two will have the life you both deserve. I love you both and always will.”
Mariela hopped down. “Wait! That’s it? Where are you going?”