stirred. “I . . . I . . .”
Fuck, why was she stuttering? She never stuttered. And this was Lennox. Lennox who never gave her the time of day.
“You want to know what I think?” he asked. “I think you believed if you baited me enough that I’d punish you. Pulling Susan’s trick? Or did you believe that I would somehow magically be healed and you could pat yourself on the back for making me better?”
Tears filled her eyes. How could he be so blind? Had she not basically thrown herself at him for the last three years? It hit her then—it was never going to happen between them. Never. They were never going to be together and she’d been counting on that fantasy for so long, she didn’t know how to live without it.
“You ass. You damn foolish ass.” She didn’t even try to stop the tears. “You have no idea, do you?”
He didn’t say anything, he just stared at her.
“I don’t want to fucking heal you to make myself feel better or to pat myself on the back. I wanted you, you asshole. I wanted you to want me.”
Lightning flashed, illuminating the dim room momentarily, and she hated the darkness that followed the bright light because it hid his reaction.
“You don’t want me, Marie.”
“You don’t get to tell me what I want. You think I didn’t know who you were before Winnie introduced us? Do you honestly believe that just because that was the first time you met me that I didn’t know who you were? You pompous ass. I wanted you long before you even met her.”
He was a mess. A complete and utter mess and she’d spent too much of her life trying to fix him. Well, she was done. Done. Done. Done. He was never going to change and it was time she accepted that.
“Know what?” she asked, decided and feeling fully alive for the first time in years. “I don’t even care anymore. Screw you. I’ll find someone who sees me as more than their dead girlfriend’s best friend because you know what? I’m worth it.”
She turned on her heel, determined to make it to her car before she broke down. She made it to the first step before he spoke.
“Stop.”
She stopped, but she didn’t turn around. “You don’t control me, Lennox.”
“That’s one. Address me properly, sub.”
She lifted her hand and flipped him the bird.
“That’s two.”
She still didn’t turn around, although something in the tone of his voice made her knees turn to jelly. “Two what? You don’t have the balls—”
She couldn’t finish what she was saying, because he’d moved as quickly and as quietly as a ninja and wrapped his hand around her mouth. “Your safe word is red. Say it and everything stops. We go back to how we were before and we never bring this up. Understand?”
She tried to say something, but she couldn’t with his hand covering her mouth, so she just nodded.
“You think you want me? You have no idea what I’m like.”
She wanted to argue to tell him she did know, but the truth was, she didn’t.
“But you’re getting ready to find out.”
He marched her down the stairs, through the short hallway, and into the cottage’s small guest room. Once they made it to the middle of the room, he pulled her to a stop. “Strip.”
“I think we should—”
“Quiet. You’re not here to think. You’ve been doing enough of that lately. Tonight, I’m the one doing the thinking. Now strip. You don’t want to find out what will happen if I have to say it again.”
She was pretty sure she did, but more than that, she wanted to find out where this was going. What he was going to do. What he was going to do to her or what he was going to have her do. If she goaded him too much, he might decide to do nothing and she didn’t think she could stand that.
With trembling hands, she slipped her tunic shirt over her head and let it flutter to the floor. She pushed her skirt down and stepped out of it, then she toed off her shoes. She stood in her underwear, wondering. . . .
“All your clothes, Marie. I want to see every last inch of you.”
She didn’t know why his command gave her pause. She was a submissive on his staff, of course he’d seen her naked before. Yet this seemed so much more personal and intimate.
She unhooked her bra and slid it from her shoulders. He remained expressionless as she pushed her thong down and stepped out. She felt exposed under his gaze and she closed her eyes, unable to stand under the weight of his stare.
He was so quiet and the rain was so loud, she jumped at the sound of his voice, inches from her ear.
“You may be right about me not knowing who you were before her, but you can be damn sure I never forgot you after. You think I’m distant and cold because I don’t feel anything and don’t want you? Let me assure you, I feel deeply and I want you too much.”
She gasped at his words. It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t. Surely, if it was, she would have picked up on it before now.
“How—”
“Shh.” He placed a finger over her lips and his voice sounded low and dangerous. “This is not the time for you to be talking. You wanted me to remember my Dominant side? To revive it? Guess what? I have and right now, it’s all directed at you. One more slipup like that and you won’t like the consequences. Understand?”
Her heart raced at the thought, even as a shiver ran through her body. “Yes, Sir.”
“Very good. Now get on your knees.”
With as much grace as she could with her body trembling so much in anticipation, she lowered herself to her knees. Would he touch her soon? So far, he’d mostly kept his hands to himself.
“You have no idea the things I want to do to you and that body of yours. Tell me, Marie, do you want to find out?”
“Yes, Sir.” For the love of god, yes.
“Ground rules,” he said. “For tonight, I’m not your employer. This has nothing to do with the academy. Anything we do, we do because we want to. Agreed?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Stand up.”
She couldn’t imagine why he wanted her to do so, she’d only just got to her knees. He moved from behind her to stand in front of her. Once more, his eyes were piercing.
After she stood, he placed his hand behind her neck. “I can’t resist you anymore.”
She whimpered because she wanted to tell him not to try, but he’d told her to be quiet. His fingers tightened around her neck.
“Tonight, you’re mine. Say it.”
“Tonight, I’m yours, Sir.” Her voice was raspy, even to her own ears.
He didn’t respond with words; rather, he pulled her to him and covered her lips with his. Before, his kiss had been intense, but she’d known he’d been holding back. Tonight, there was nothing held back. He was raw and unrestrained, and when he parted her lips and pillaged her mouth, she wondered what she’d freed.
She felt his desire and need to her very bones, but she didn’t fear it. She relished it, rejoiced in it, and she wanted to give him everything she had. She moaned into his mouth and, though she thought for a second he might pull back, he didn’t. He actually dropped one hand to rest right above her ass.
He broke the kiss, only to push her closer with a hand on her lower back, causing her to press against his erection. “You want this cock?”
It took all her self-control not to grind herself against it. “Yes, Sir.”
“It’s been too damn long since I’ve fucked anyone. I’m going to use you and use you hard. Tell me now if that’s not what you want.”
If he thought that was going to make her change her mind, he was dead wrong. She licked her lips. “Tonight, I’m yours, Sir. Use me however you need to.”
She prepared for him to touch her or to tell her to get on her knees, but he did neither. He crossed his arms.
“Tell me why you pulled the fire alarm.”
Her face heated. Damn him for bringing that up. And why now? Why now, when it seemed as if everything she’d wanted was finally
within her grasp? But he stood there, his arms crossed and that stubborn look on his face and she knew that they had to get through this before they could continue with anything else.
“I was watching the live feed, Sir—”
“Why?”