“Because I’m not good enough?”
He saw the pain in her eyes and it ripped a hole in his chest. Though he couldn’t give her everything she wanted, he knew in this, he could give her the truth.
“No, because I can’t lose you, too.”
• • •
MARIELA WATCHED IN shock as Lennox stood up and walked back to the academy building. Her fingers drifted to her lips and she knew if she concentrated enough, she would still be able to feel his lips against hers. Over the years, she’d wondered what his kiss would be like. Though she’d imagined it hard and demanding, it was so much more. His lips had been strong and insistent as they moved with hers. With his kiss, he’d claimed her, even if only for that second. Kissing Lennox had been better than she’d imagined it would be, and for one small moment, she’d allowed herself to think that they might actually have a chance.
That was the bad thing about hope. When life kicked your ass and you knew you were a fool to think something better might happen.
Yet as she watched him disappear into the early morning fog, hope refused to die. Because as much as it hurt when he walked away, she’d been in his arms, she’d felt the heat of his embrace, and the desire in his kiss. She now knew that no matter what he said, he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
And that was the good thing about hope.
She looked at her watch and waited for ten minutes before returning to the academy. On the off chance that anyone was up this early, she didn’t want any rumors about her and Lennox. Heaven only knew how much that might set him back. As it was, she probably needed to have a chat with Andie to see if they needed to change their seduction plan.
A noise from behind her caught her attention and she turned to see what it was. Not too far from the docks was the island’s lighthouse where Fulton lived. It seemed as if Andie had spent the night and was heading over to the main building to start on breakfast. Mariela watched as Andie kissed her Dom good-bye, and when she turned toward her, Mariela waved to catch her attention.
Andie said something to Fulton over her shoulder and he nodded, keeping an eye on her until she caught up with Mariela.
“Why don’t you go ahead and move in with him?” Mariela asked when Andie fell into step beside her. “Don’t you spend every night there anyway?”
“Only the ones that he doesn’t spend with me.” Andie shot her a smile. “We’ve talked about it. I’m thinking I might move into the lighthouse after the first of the year.”
They walked in silence for a short while until Andie spoke.
“You’re up and out a little early, aren’t you?” She looked Mariela’s way when she didn’t answer right away. “Oh my god. Are you blushing?”
Mariela felt her cheeks heat and she knew she was. “Probably.”
“Probably, my ass. Tell me. Tell me everything.”
Mariela took a deep breath and told Andie everything about what had just happened with Lennox. She didn’t leave anything out, partly, she thought, because talking about it made it seem more real.
When she finished, Andie had a wicked gleam in her eye. “It’s time to put the first stage of the plan into motion.”
• • •
BY MIDMORNING, LENNOX gave up all pretense of work. He didn’t know what he was thinking anyway—had he actually believed he would get anything accomplished after kissing Marie?
He’d listened for her footsteps out in the hallway to alert him that she’d made it inside, and was disappointed when they didn’t come. Eventually, he went into the dining hall and discovered she’d been in the kitchen talking with Andie. He didn’t want her to see him watching her, so he took his breakfast back to his office and ate there alone.
Unable to work and tired of pretending, he decided to take a boat and go off the island to the cabin. He could start making plans for what he needed to do in order to convert it. Plus, it had been a few months since he’d last visited. It probably needed a good cleaning. He really wanted to ask Marie to accompany him, but he knew that probably wasn’t a good idea after the kiss.
“Boss?” Fulton asked from the doorway.
“Master Matthews,” he said, ready to get his mind on something else. “What can I help you with?”
Fulton looked a bit apprehensive. “I wouldn’t ask you, but there’s no one else.”
Dread started to seep into his veins. He wasn’t sure what was going on, but if Fulton was concerned, he was worried.
Fulton stepped inside and closed the office door behind him. “The students are going to be running through an impact scene. We’ve already gone through it a few times, so they don’t need instruction, just someone in authority to be in the room. I’ve had an urgent issue come up at the lighthouse and it has to be dealt with now.”
“And Master Nader?”
“He had that doctor’s appointment to take his mother to.”
That’s right, Lennox remembered when he’d asked him if it was okay to take the day off. “I assume Andie is too busy with lunch?”
Fulton nodded. “And not that I don’t trust her, but it’s not a responsibility I want to place on her just yet.”
“And Marie?”
“I asked her first, but she has a conference call scheduled.”
“And she can’t reschedule?”
“I did ask that, Sir. But she said this was a supplier for the Holiday Ball and she’d been trying to get on this guy’s calendar for a month and she’d reschedule as long as I agreed to personally cut down and arrange all the greenery and flowers.” Fulton winced. “I thought I’d ask you first because I suck at that floral shit.”
Lennox almost told Fulton to reschedule the session, but he stopped himself. He was the fucking headmaster of a BDSM academy. Surely he could watch a session just to make sure no one got hurt. Couldn’t he?
“You know what?” the other man said. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll just cancel and reschedule.”
He sighed. “No. I’ll do it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. What time?”
“Thank you, Sir,” Fulton looked greatly relieved. “I appreciate it. Dungeon classroom B at eleven. It’ll run until noon. I usually give a time check about halfway through. Thank you again.”
Christ, the way Fulton was thanking him, it was like Lennox had agreed to give him a kidney. Was it really such a big deal that he observe a scene? He tried to recall the last scene he’d witnessed and he was shocked to find he couldn’t remember.
He waved Fulton away and tried not to notice how the thought of even just watching a scene excited him. A glance at the clock told him he had thirty minutes before he had to head down to the dungeons. It had been months since the last time he went into one of the dungeons.
It had been the night of the anniversary of Winnie’s death and he’d gotten drunk off his ass, like he did every year. Except this year he’d decided to add fuel to the fire and visit the dungeon level. Why he did it, he still couldn’t really figure out. It was one of those things that only made sense when you were drunk.
He also remembered Marie finding him, and he’d been rude to her. He ran his fingers through his hair. Why that woman put up with him, he’d never know. She had to be a saint. Even more so, how was it possible she still seemed to want him after he’d been so boorish for so long?
He pushed back from his chair and decided to head down to the dungeons early. To acclimate himself. He walked past Marie’s office, but the door was closed. Maybe her call had started.
/> Once he made it down the stairs, he entered the class dungeon with a bit of trepidation. He wasn’t ignorant of the things said about him or his lack of participation. Hopefully, his presence wouldn’t be a distraction to the students or his instructors.
Before the students arrived, he walked through the space, reacquainting himself with where the first-aid supplies were, and he made sure an area had been set up for aftercare. He was pleased but not surprised that Fulton had everything in order.
“Oh, sorry. I didn’t know anyone was here.”
He turned at the sound of the feminine voice and found one of the students standing naked in the doorway. Actually, standing wasn’t the right word. Posing might be more accurate.
Her name was Susan. She’d applied to the academy several times in the past, but he’d never offered her an invitation for enrollment before this term. Her application indicated she’d done