She stopped and wiped the tears that gathered in her eyes. He wished he had a handkerchief or something useful, but all he could do was wait for her to continue.
“I don’t know your history,” she said. “That’s one of the reasons why our arrangement has worked so well. But I see in you a grief that I know all too well. I’m not going to tell you to get over the loss and live your life, because I’m sure you’re sick of hearing that. I’ll just tell you that I know where you are. I’ve been there and I’ve made it through to the other side.” She reached into her desk, took out a card, and wrote something on it. “This is my cell phone. Call me if you need to talk or just need someone to listen.”
He was so shocked that she hadn’t told him to get over it and to be thankful he was still alive that he walked back to her and took the card. He’d been in therapy for years, had talked to numerous people, listened and half listened to a dozen more, but never to anyone who had actually been through anything similar to what he had been through.
“Thank you,” he said, and meant it. As he took the card, his gaze fell on her new engagement ring. He put the card in his pocket, and told himself he’d throw it away when he got back to the island. Because as much as he appreciated the gesture, Rachel wasn’t like him. Her situation, though similar, was nowhere near the same.
By her own account, her first husband’s death had been a random mugging gone bad. She hadn’t caused it. The death of her husband didn’t stain her hands. And that was the difference. That was why he couldn’t get over Winnie’s death and go on with his life. Because every time he looked in the mirror, he was confronted with the truth.
Winnie was dead because of him.
WINNIE’S JOURNAL
His voice . . . gah . . . I could seriously listen to that man read from a phone book. Everything about him is a walking advertisement for sex. Raw sex. Dirty sex. Keep-me-in-bed-all-day-and-all-night-too sex.
But it wasn’t just his voice. I was mesmerized by his hands, especially his fingers. One look and I couldn’t stop thinking about how they would feel and what they could do to my body. And his eyes . . . When we were introduced, his eyes had this look, like they knew exactly what I was thinking, but more than that, like he approved.
And, of course, I can’t forget his mouth. When he said my name, the corner of his mouth lifted in a sexy half smile. My knees just about gave out. I looked at Marie to see if she was affected the same way, too. What I saw shocked the hell out of me.
I wanted to climb on top of his body and do wicked, wicked things, but Marie . . . she looked like she wanted to kneel before him and do his bidding.
CHAPTER
Three
The first day of class for a new session of students always carried an air of excitement, and the newly arrived fall class was no different. Mariela actually thought the level of excitement felt higher than normal, but had to admit, part of that stemmed from Andie.
“This is so fun,” her friend said, practically bouncing as she oversaw breakfast preparations. “I mean the weekend was fun, too, when they all arrived, but to know that class starts today?”
Mariela let her chat. She’d arrived at the dining hall earlier than usual to see if Andie needed help, but so far she was doing fine on her own. Mariela peeked out the door as one of the waitstaff entered the dining hall. Lennox had enrolled eighteen students for the fall, slightly higher than last fall’s sixteen.
They wouldn’t make it to her class until later in the week, but she had met several of them over the weekend since she acted as advisor to a number of the submissive students present.
Speaking of submissives, she needed to prepare for her introductory demo. She’d made the mistake of asking Lennox to help her over the summer and had been shot down. It was not a mistake she was going to make twice. David Nader, a Dominant on staff and a fellow instructor, had always assisted her in the past. He could do so today, too.
Right as she was getting ready to tell Andie that she’d see her later, the door opened and Fulton came in. Andie skipped over to him, rose up on her toes, and kissed him. He smiled and grabbed her by the waist, swinging her around.
“Seriously, you two,” Mariela said with mock disgust.
“Hey,” Fulton said to her, not releasing his hold on Andie. “I’m glad you’re here. I wanted to ask you something.”
“Sure. What’s up?” Mariela knew Fulton didn’t have much time. He would be doing the new student introduction in a little over an hour. Which meant she had about an hour and a half before he’d need her for the demo.
“I know this is last minute, but I was thinking Andie could do the class demo this morning.” Fulton glanced over at his submissive. From the look on her face, he hadn’t discussed the possibility with Andie.
“What?” Andie asked.
He shrugged. “I figured why not? You did demos with me over the summer when you were a student, so this won’t be a big deal. Besides, Mariela always does them. I thought maybe she’d like to take a break.”
Andie’s gaze narrowed. “I think that’s something you should ask a person before you go around assuming things.”
That was another thing Mariela liked about Andie—she was a spitfire who had no problem telling it like she saw it. She didn’t back down from anyone, and the only time she appeared even remotely submissive was when she was in a scene with Fulton.
Fulton, for his part, looked crestfallen as he turned to Mariela. “I didn’t think you’d mind. You’ve seemed a bit distant lately. . . .”
Mariela knew she had been. She wasn’t sure why, or at least why things had started bothering her so much now. Maybe it was because she’d been in Andie and Fulton’s company almost exclusively in the weeks leading up to the fall term. She didn’t like the thought that being around a happy couple would bring her down, like she was jealous, but that could very well be the case.
Even now, with Andie’s mild rebuke, she could see the excitement in her friend’s eyes at the thought of doing the demo. When was the last time Mariela had been that excited about a scene? She honestly couldn’t remember.
“It’s okay. I have been distant lately.” She took a deep breath. “And I would actually really like for Andie to do the demo. If she doesn’t mind.”
“No. Not at all.” Andie took Fulton’s hand. “Do you need me to tell Master Nader?”
“I can do it on the way to my office. You two go get ready.” Mariela turned to leave, but not before she saw Andie once more kiss her man.
If she thought she might have been moody and distant before talking with Andie in the kitchen, once she made it back into her office after stopping by Master Nader’s, she was even more so. She gave the barre a long look, but for some reason it didn’t beckon her today like it normally did.
Three months ago she’d have changed clothes and danced whether she felt like it or not. But today . . . today she gave in to the overwhelming urge to sit at her desk and mope.
She rested her chin in her hands and looked over the paperwork she should tackle. There were people to call to set up the ball the academy hosted after every term. The fall term was always a little bit more special than either the spring or summer because the end-of-term ball fell near Christmas.
Lennox wasn’t one to celebrate the holidays, but he didn’t mind if the rest of the staff did. Mariela had always loved Christmas and she usually adored overseeing the decorating of the academy. At the moment, though, she just couldn’t bring herself to get excited about twinkling lights and greenery.
“Marie?”
She didn’t have to look up to know it was Lennox who’d called her name.
“Master MacLure,” she said in response.
“Aren’t you doing the first-day demo?” He cocked an eyebrow at her, like he’d just caught her with her hands in the
cookie jar.
“Why?” she asked. “Were you going to volunteer to do it with me?”
“You know me better than that.”
“Right. The Dom Who Isn’t. Forgive me, I forgot. So, let’s see. If you aren’t interested in running the demo with me, you must have stopped by because you want to watch.”
He didn’t say anything, and his silence made her more upset than if he’d challenged her.
“That’s it, isn’t it? You like to watch.” She was probably shooting Andie’s plan all to hell, but she found she didn’t care. “You can’t man up enough to actually participate, so you’ll get yourself off by watching.”