“I need to give RJ a bath,” Micaela says once we get through the door. “He’s on a good schedule, for the most part. He goes to bed after a bath and a bottle, only waking up once in the middle of the night for a diaper change and to eat. He’s even been sleeping in until six.”
“Can I help?”
“Of course.”
We work together to give RJ a bath, get him into his pajamas, and then give him one last bottle before putting him to bed. His eyelids are hooded over and he’s already halfway to his dreams when Micaela sets him in his crib, splaying a blanket across his little body. She turns off the light and winds up a mobile that’s hanging above his crib. It turns in a circular motion, playing soft music, and RJ’s eyes close before it even makes it around one full time.
“I’m exhausted,” Micaela says, removing her clothes and putting on her pajamas. “I don’t even know how you’re still standing erect and with your eyes open.” She moves to the bathroom and brushes her teeth.
“Probably the adrenaline,” I admit, following her lead and getting changed then brushing my teeth. My stuff is still in my truck, but Micaela bought everything new for me.
Once we’re both ready for bed, she climbs onto one side, so I go to the other. This will be the first time we’ve slept together since our time at the beach house. We did spend a couple nights together when she had RJ before she asked for space, but we were up all night taking care of him, and the last night before I left I pretty much stayed up all night watching her and RJ sleep.
Micaela fits her body against mine and lays her head on my chest. “This feels good,” she murmurs through a yawn.
“Being together?”
“Yeah, that… but also knowing you’re home safe. I won’t have to worry anymore. We can just… be together.” With one last yawn, she cuddles closer to my body, and a few seconds later, her soft snores fill the quiet.
I should probably go to sleep, but it’s hard coming back to civilian life after a year of being in the desert, sleeping on a hard as fuck bed, constantly having to be alert. It also doesn’t help that while it’s 9:00 p.m. here, it’s 9:00 a.m. in Afghanistan. I will my body to shut down, but when I realize it’s not happening, I instead focus my attention on Micaela and watching her sleep. Aside from the nights we spent together at the beach house, which were mostly spent under the stars or us falling into bed exhausted, I haven’t spent much time in bed with a woman. I was married to Laura for years, but we slept in different rooms. She was going to school and studying late and somehow the office turned into her room. Then when she started working as a nurse and later a nurse practitioner, when I was actually home, we would work opposite hours, so she continued to sleep in the other room. Without realizing it, it became our norm.
Micaela shifts in her sleep, her head leaving my chest and her body flipping over like a fish out of water, taking the blankets with her. I glance down at my blanketless self and laugh. She did the same shit at the beach house. Fucking adorable blanket hogger.
Wrapping my arms around her from behind, I nuzzle my face into her neck and let the soft sound of her snoring lull me to sleep.
Micaela
The sound of RJ whining through the monitor wakes me from my slumber. When I roll over, I bump into a hard wall that almost has me falling off the bed in shock and confusion. My eyes pop open, and I find Ryan sleeping next to me, snoring… not so softly. I smile, my heart happy that he’s home safely in bed. We haven’t discussed his time in Afghanistan and, if I’m honest, I don’t want to. I’m perfectly content remaining ignorant as long as possible.
RJ’s whines get louder, so I turn the monitor off and stumble out of bed so I can change and feed him.
Grabbing the bottle I pre-make every night so I don’t have to do it when he wakes up, I pad into his room. Since he wakes up every night at almost the same time, this has become a routine I can practically do in my sleep—and most nights, like tonight, when I’m beyond exhausted, it feels like I do.
Like me, RJ is still half-asleep. I quickly change his diaper then feed him his bottle. He hasn’t even finished drinking the entire thing before his eyes shut, his tiny chest steadily rising and falling. I lay him back in his crib, giving him his pacifier, and with a soft kiss to his forehead, quietly exit, more than ready to go back to bed.