I had been trying not to think about Jensen and what had happened. But I was just so confused and upset, something I didn’t really like admitting. I hated him thinking that what we had done was a mistake. I wanted more of his kisses. I wanted more of the guy who had unapologetically sang Mariah Carey with me. And, even worse, I knew that he was right. I hadn’t thought this was a real thing to begin with. I’d wanted to get a piece of him without thinking about what would come next. I wanted to think it was better this way, but it didn’t feel like that. I was hoping retail therapy would help.
Malouf’s was swamped for the holidays, and it wouldn’t have been my first choice. Mostly because I couldn’t afford anything in the store. Everything was designer and custom-made. Kate Spade, Kendra Scott, Tom Ford. Oh, my! But Heidi and Julia each had well-paying Wright Construction jobs, and I was sure I could find something. Maybe on the sale rack.
I hurried across the parking lot to get out of the frigid, windy weather. Screw Lubbock and its freezing air the day after it was seventy. I barreled through the front door and found Heidi talking animatedly to Julia, who was holding up a black dress with a plunging neckline.
“I’m here. I made it. Sorry I’m late,” I said to the girls.
“Em! Just in time,” Heidi said. “Tell Julia that she would look smoking hot in this dress.”
“It’s black. I like it.” That had been my motto since junior high. My closet was filled up with black jeans, black sweaters, black tank tops, and black sneakers. All black everything.
“I knew you would say that,” Heidi said with a grin.
Contemplatively, Julia held the dress at arm’s length. Black was a good choice with her hair that had all the burgundy undertones that she’d highlighted. Plus, it was slimming, which was good for everyone, except for Heidi, who was built like a Barbie doll. And, while Heidi had the enviable prom-queen looks, Julia just had something about her. Between her mahogany hair and studded ears and tattoos peeking out from under her edgy leather-detailed dress, she was the mysterious girl you didn’t bring home to Mom. I liked her for that. Kind of felt like she and I could gang up on Heidi together…and maybe even win. But probably not.
“It’s so not me, but I’ll try it on.”
“Nothing in this store is ever me either,” I told Julia. “But, if you don’t try on everything Heidi wants you to wear, then you won’t make it out of here alive.”
“Damn straight,” Heidi said with a sharp nod of her head. “Now, let me play dress-up!”
We wandered around the store together with Heidi randomly throwing things into our arms. Julia and I exchanged looks full of sympathy for each other. I had something hot pink in my pile. Julia had a pastel. Heidi herself had all the best pieces that only worked on someone who was five foot nine or above.
The manager came over and procured dressing rooms for all of us, offering us assistance if we needed different sizes. I shimmied into the hot-pink dress first just to get it over with, and Heidi hysterically laughed at me until I went back into the dressing room for something else.
“Okay, I know it’s a touchy subject,” Heidi called over the dressing room wall, “but can we talk about Jensen?”
I stepped out of the dressing room and crossed my arms until she came out of her room. “No.”
“What about Jensen?” Julia asked.
She appeared in a stunning olive-green dress that complemented her style perfectly. I was sure it would be a winner.
“Can I tell?” Heidi asked.
“Fine, but I’m not trying on that weird patterned thing you gave me,” I told her.
“Ugh! Fine! I’m just trying to brighten up your wardrobe.”
“You’ve been trying for twenty years. It’s not going to work.”
She laughed and flipped me off. “Anyway, Emery went on a date with Jensen.”
“Oh, wow! Was it hot?” Julia asked.
“So hot,” Heidi said.
“Heidi, can you not?” I demanded.
“Sorry!” she squeaked. “Anyway, he was a total ass to her afterward, and then he was an even bigger ass by asking her to coffee to tell her the whole thing was a mistake.”
“That sucks. Sorry, Emery,” Julia said.
“It’s fine,” I told them. “Really, it was one date. And then…another kiss that meant nothing. He kissed me after telling me how much of a mistake our date was because he doesn’t date in town and how it never should have happened because I moved back home. Oh! And he fucking told Morgan. Now, Landon is totally going to find out.”
“And Landon doesn’t know you went on a date with his brother?” Julia asked.
I shook my head. “I’d like to keep it that way.”