Unprepared for my father to still be alive.
And armed.
My father raised himself up onto his knees, aimed the small gun, and fired. “No!” Tanner cried out, taking the bullet in his shoulder.
My dad fell back to the ground with a thud.
“Dad!” I yelled as loud as I could, unsure of whether I’d produced any sound.
And then I was sliding, across the floor. “You want her motherfucker? You come and fucking get her,” Tanner seethed. Kicking out his knee, he pushed me through the hole in the side of the boat.
And then I was falling backward into the cold water. Searing pain worse than the burn itself exploded in my shoulder. I opened my mouth to scream.
Water filled my mouth and lungs.
So this is what dying feels like, I thought as I drifted further and further away from my body.
I knew I was dead. I knew it because when I opened my eyes, Preppy was staring down at me with the same ridiculous smile that made me want to become his friend all over again. Colorful tattoos covering most of his exposed skin, light purple shirt, bright pink checkered bow tie, and his favorite white suspenders.
He looked like demonic Easter.
“Babe, I know you just got mangled by that motherfucking psycho, ’cause I watched the entire thing. Total bummer I couldn’t cut the kid’s fucking cock off for you and make him choke on it. But I just have to tell you before I bust…your tits look fucking fantastic in that tank top.”
I chuckled. It was so good to hear Preppy’s voice again and his never-ending stream of profanity laced words. At that very moment, I couldn’t have been more at peace if he were singing church hymns to me.
“I don’t even mind all the blood and gore all over you. I kinda like it actually. Very zombie hot chick. Very fucking nice. Reminds me of this hot-ass U-Porn video I saw. Makes little preppy happy and all fucking twitchy and shit.”
“I’m dead, aren’t I?” I asked groggily, covering my eyes with my forearm from the bright light. And then it hit me. I sat straight up, sending Preppy falling to the floor on his ass. “Oh my God! I’m dead. What about Sammy? King?” I asked frantically.
“Calm your clit,” Preppy said, standing up off the floor and rubbing his ass with his hand. “You’re not fucking dead. Not yet. But I tell ya babe, if you go first before my motherfucking muscle bound bestfriend? Me and you are going to finally have that date.” He nodded and flashed me a wink.
I wasn’t dead. I took a deep breath to calm myself.
“And when we get to have that date I am most definitely going to put the motherfucking tip in,” Preppy added, flicking me on the shoulder.
I laughed. “I don’t think that will sit well with King.”
Preppy shrugged. “Fuck him. I don’t give a shit. When he meets us up here, he can kill me all over again if he wants.” Preppy planted a peck on my cheek. “’Cause you, my friend, are totally fucking worth dying for all over again.”
“I miss you Preppy. I miss you so much. All this stuff has happened and you’re not there and sometimes it’s all just too much…” I wrapped my arms around Preppy and pulled him close. He nuzzled into my neck, his breath warm against my skin.
“Look around. Open your fucking peepers and take a good look at where we are right now.” Without letting go of Preppy I did what he instructed and opened my eyes. I was sitting at the dining room table in King’s house. Preppy was crouched on the floor in front of me.
“We…we’re home,” I gasped. Preppy stood from the floor and pulled me up with him.
“Right. We’re home. You don’t have to miss me because I’m here. Always with you. Looking out for you. Looking out for Boss Man. Fuck, I’ll even look out for Bear as long as he does what he promised he’d do if I ever croaked before him, and erase my motherfucking hard drive like a good little biker boy.”
“But you’re not here. Not really,” I said,
“Fuck yeah, I’m here. I’ll always be here. You can’t make me leave if you got the priest form the exorcist to come remove me. ’Cause I’m one step above demon…I’m Preppy.”
“I’m still going to miss you.”
“It’s okay to miss me. But you’ve got so much with King, Bear, the kids. You’re going to be so fucking busy, you’re not going to have time to miss me. But I tell you what; I’ll make sure you know I’m around. Can’t find where you put your fucking car keys? That’s ’cause Ghost Preppy put them in the freezer. Can’t find the remote but the channels keep changing? That’s because Ghost Preppy can’t remember what channel American Ninja Warrior is on.” Preppy wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb.