“So, productive?”
“Very. We’re almost caught up.”
“Thank God. I miss you.”
“I miss you too,” I said, warmth spreading through my chest.
Jude flapped his hands and made kissy faces at me. I turned my chair so he was behind me.
“What are you up to?” I asked.
“The usual — just working a lot, thinking about you. You know, normal stuff. Can I see you tonight?” She was nervous and hopeful and a little cagey, and it broke my heart.
“I wish I could. We’re right on the edge of the deadline, and it’ll take us until the middle of the night, I’m sure.”
“Oh. Okay. I figured, just had to ask.”
Her disappointment was almost too much — I nearly caved.
“Pen, I want to see you. Are you around tomorrow? All I need is a nap and a shower and I’ll be as hot and ready as a Little Caesars pizza.”
She laughed, the tension dissipating just a little. “Sounds good. Just let me know when you’re free.”
“How about you tell me when you’re off, and I’ll make time.”
Angie walked through the living room, digging through her purse. “Any special requests?”
I held up an empty can of Red Bull and shook it, and she nodded.
“Angie’s over?” Penny asked, something tinging her words with anxiety again. Jealousy? My brows dropped.
“Uh, yeah. She’s feeding us so we don’t overdose on caffeine and junk food.”
“Cool. That’s cool.”
I frowned. It didn’t sound like she thought it was cool. “You okay?”
“Yeah, no, for sure. I just figured you guys were all No Girls Allowed, like the The Little Rascals.” She attempted to joke, but it fell flat.
I tried to save it. “Just call me Spanky.”
She laughed, but it sounded fake, and I got up and walked to the kitchen for a modicum of privacy.
“You sure you’re okay?”
She sighed, a defeated noise and the first sign of honesty. “Yeah, I’m okay. I just really want to see you, that’s all.”
“I know. Me too. Tomorrow, okay? Anytime, you name it, and I’m all yours.”
“All right, Spanky. I expect you to hold good on the nickname though.”
“Deal. Text me later and let me know how your day is.”
“I will,” she said, and I could hear her smiling. That at least was a win. “Bye, Bodie.”
“Bye,” I echoed and hung up with a sigh of my own.
Penny was bugging out, and I wasn’t sure what had happened or what I could do to ease her mind.
For two days, we’d barely talked — two days after a night that changed me, changed us. And now that the brazen, unapologetic, confident woman I’d come to care for had been exposed, her insecurities and uncertainties were apparent.
I didn’t care past wanting to make it all right, make it better. Though part of me wondered if there was more to the shift in her.
I knew she cared, but maybe she didn’t trust me after all. I sensed she felt I’d penned her in, and if I couldn’t prove that I would take care of her heart, she could bust out of the fence and run for freedom. Maybe keeping her would drive her crazy. Maybe she just didn’t know what to do with herself.
I shook my head and ran my hand through my hair, which still felt too short, as I stared at my phone, imagining her somewhere in the city staring at hers too.
Angie was still in the kitchen, jotting on a piece of paper. She smiled up at me. “Jude had a list.”
I chuckled and leaned on the island. “Of course he did.”
“Everything okay?” she asked, glancing at my phone.
“Yeah. I think so at least.”
“How’s it going with Penny?”
“I can’t really tell. Things are getting a little … complicated.”
Angie raised a brow. “Oh?”
“I dunno. Maybe complicated isn’t the right word. Like, everything between us is fine, great even. But I think we’re both having feelings, and only one of us knows what to do with them.”
“Hmm. What’s going on?”
“She’s just acting cagey, uncertain.”
Angie frowned. “How come?”
I sighed and raked a hand through my hair again. “She doesn’t want commitment, and we’ve sort of outgrown the idea that it’s casual.”
“Have you guys talked about whatever feelings you’re having?”
I shook my head. “I’m afraid I’ll scare her off. She gets all in her head, and it’s like I can just see her snowballing away from me.”
“Do you know why she’s so …”
“Skittish? She dated this guy in high school, and he was horrible to her. He was fucking half the school and somehow kept it a secret from her until they broke up. Not only that, but he had her so under his thumb, and I don’t know if she ever escaped. Asshole,” I hissed to myself, hot anger churning in my chest at the thought. “He had no idea what he had. And when she got hurt, she decided not to let herself ever get hurt again. Which meant she won’t get into anything serious.”