I smiled with my lips closed and nodded, making the bun on top of my head bob.
She squealed and did a little Flashdance before swooping into the chair next to me. “I thought I heard him, but I was afraid it was someone else. And if it was someone else, I was prepared to brain you with a frying pan.”
I frowned, offended. “You thought I might have come home from the wedding with someone besides Bodie?”
She huffed and rolled her eyes. “You’ve done it before.”
“Not true. I always go home with my dates, asshole. But yes, that was definitely Bodie. And he definitely spent the night. And he definitely made me pancakes this morning.”
Her cheeks flushed, and she giggled. “God, he’s such a fucking catch, Pen.”
I eyed her. “Why are you so happy?” I scanned her face and body and lit up. “You got laid!”
Her blush deepened. “No, I didn’t.”
This time, I pointed. “Oh my God, you did! You got nailed! Finally. I was worried your junk was gonna dry up. All dust bunnies and mothballs and shit,” I said, wagging my hand at her nethers.
Another eye roll. “You are such a drama queen. We’re talking about you and Mr. Math. Penny, he spent the night. Like, what the fuck does that even mean?”
I shrugged and drew a little circle on the table with my finger. “It means I got pancakes and morning sex.”
“Don’t do that. I’m serious. This is a big deal.”
“I know, but we’re not … I dunno. Calling it anything. We’re just letting it be what it is,” I said simply.
“And how long do you think that’ll last?”
I chuffed, my emotions bubbling and steaming and hissing with uncertainty and anxiety. “God, why are you being such a dick about it? I don’t know what it is. I just know that I like him. I like him a lot. I want to be around him all the time, and I want to tell him stuff and let him sleep in my bed. And the whole thing freaks me the fuck out without you on my ass, so maybe just lay off a little.”
Her face softened. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I just … I want you to be happy and okay, and I’m a little scared for you.”
I sighed and sagged in my chair. “Me too. Ronnie, I don’t know how to do this. Like, I have no chill when I really like a guy.”
“In fairness, the last guy you really, really liked was in high school.”
“And he made me crazy. Courtney Love, rip-down-the-curtains, where-the-fuck-is-my-man crazy. For two years. And through the whole thing, he treated me like shit, and when I lost my mind, he’d just press his finger to my forehead, and I’d calm down and give him whatever the fuck he wanted.” My chest ached at the memory.
She sighed. “But he was manipulating you.”
“Fuck yeah, he was. You know, one time, he called me at two thirty in the morning just to say hi. I thought it was so cute and sweet that he was thinking about me, and I asked him where he was. And you know what he told me? That he was at Anna Dorf’s house — that skank. Motherfucker knew I hated her — she had the biggest thing for Rodney and didn’t even pretend to hide it — and he straight-up told me that was where he was. He told me to stop being crazy. So of course, I’m upset trying to figure out if he was fucking with me, and we’re going back and forth, and he’s getting meaner, and I’m getting more and more pissed. And then I heard him ask someone for syrup.”
“Syrup?”
“Yeah, because he wasn’t at Anna’s house. He was somewhere getting breakfast food. So I hung up on him. I got dressed and got in my car. There were two places he could get pancakes at that time in Santa Cruz.” I held up two fingers for dramatic effect. “IHOP, where he wasn’t, and House of Pie, where he was. I marched into that motherfucker, stomped over to his table, stuck my finger in his face, and told him never to lie to me about where he was because I’d fucking find him. He looked at me like he was scared to death of me, and he was probably wise to be afraid because I was in a full-blown psychotic break. And just like that, he pulled me onto his lap and laughed and told me he was only joking and that he loved me. The worst part is that by the time he got to the apology or diversion or whatever it was, I wasn’t even mad anymore.”
Veronica blinked, surprised, and I felt ashamed.
“I told you. Crazy. Psycho. I don’t want to go psycho on Bodie. I don’t want to wig out and scare him off, but all of this is … it’s happening, and I don’t know if I can even stop it. I don’t want to stop whatever’s going on between us, but I’m scared.”